SERIOUS help with online dating... PLEASE!! !
04 Jul 2018, 3:53 pm
Amanda G23 wrote:
Firstly, what I was looking for was someone who was interesting, honest, and attractive to me. He didn't have to be super-gorgeous. I wouldn't have minded if he'd been unemployed. I got plenty of responses from nice looking guys, so that wasn't the main thing that made him stand out. The main thing was that he sounded honest. He didn't pump himself up or paint a flowery picture. In fact, as I later discovered, he had down-played his actual accomplishments. He mentioned his interests and activities (music, writing), that he'd travelled around before settling in Vancouver, that he did carpentry to pay the bills, that he had an ambition to learn how to make pie by the end of the summer. He just sounded nice, and HONEST. One of things that stuck out in that respect was that his profile gave his height (5'4") and I thought a dishonest guy probably would have omitted that information. (Fortunately for me, I don't consider height important at all.) That's what got him a date in the first place. He was not the first one I went out with though. The first one didn't get a second date because I didn't find him attractive. He had posted an inaccurate profile pic. That was a big mistake. Don't do that! It might get you a first meeting but your date's first reaction to meeting you will be disappointment and you don't want that. I was extremely pleased to discover that my second date looked the same as his pictures. (He said he was equally relieved that mine were accurate too.) If you like, I can PM you with the complete text of our dating site interaction (with identifying info redacted of course) so you can see what actually worked.
Though I am not the topic creator, I would find this interesting.
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My account is often forced to do Captchas so I may be slow to reply or perhaps even unable to reply.
06 Jul 2018, 8:45 pm
SSJ4_PrestonGarvey wrote:
Amanda G23 wrote:
Firstly, what I was looking for was someone who was interesting, honest, and attractive to me. He didn't have to be super-gorgeous. I wouldn't have minded if he'd been unemployed. I got plenty of responses from nice looking guys, so that wasn't the main thing that made him stand out. The main thing was that he sounded honest. He didn't pump himself up or paint a flowery picture. In fact, as I later discovered, he had down-played his actual accomplishments. He mentioned his interests and activities (music, writing), that he'd travelled around before settling in Vancouver, that he did carpentry to pay the bills, that he had an ambition to learn how to make pie by the end of the summer. He just sounded nice, and HONEST. One of things that stuck out in that respect was that his profile gave his height (5'4") and I thought a dishonest guy probably would have omitted that information. (Fortunately for me, I don't consider height important at all.) That's what got him a date in the first place. He was not the first one I went out with though. The first one didn't get a second date because I didn't find him attractive. He had posted an inaccurate profile pic. That was a big mistake. Don't do that! It might get you a first meeting but your date's first reaction to meeting you will be disappointment and you don't want that. I was extremely pleased to discover that my second date looked the same as his pictures. (He said he was equally relieved that mine were accurate too.) If you like, I can PM you with the complete text of our dating site interaction (with identifying info redacted of course) so you can see what actually worked.
Though I am not the topic creator, I would find this interesting.
I sent you a PM, I think. Let me know if it arrived. I'm not sure how it works.
_________________
“It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society”
Jiddu Krishnamurti
06 Jul 2018, 10:00 pm
Amanda G23 wrote:
SSJ4_PrestonGarvey wrote:
Amanda G23 wrote:
Firstly, what I was looking for was someone who was interesting, honest, and attractive to me. He didn't have to be super-gorgeous. I wouldn't have minded if he'd been unemployed. I got plenty of responses from nice looking guys, so that wasn't the main thing that made him stand out. The main thing was that he sounded honest. He didn't pump himself up or paint a flowery picture. In fact, as I later discovered, he had down-played his actual accomplishments. He mentioned his interests and activities (music, writing), that he'd travelled around before settling in Vancouver, that he did carpentry to pay the bills, that he had an ambition to learn how to make pie by the end of the summer. He just sounded nice, and HONEST. One of things that stuck out in that respect was that his profile gave his height (5'4") and I thought a dishonest guy probably would have omitted that information. (Fortunately for me, I don't consider height important at all.) That's what got him a date in the first place. He was not the first one I went out with though. The first one didn't get a second date because I didn't find him attractive. He had posted an inaccurate profile pic. That was a big mistake. Don't do that! It might get you a first meeting but your date's first reaction to meeting you will be disappointment and you don't want that. I was extremely pleased to discover that my second date looked the same as his pictures. (He said he was equally relieved that mine were accurate too.) If you like, I can PM you with the complete text of our dating site interaction (with identifying info redacted of course) so you can see what actually worked.
Though I am not the topic creator, I would find this interesting.
I sent you a PM, I think. Let me know if it arrived. I'm not sure how it works.
Thanks! It's good to see at least one case where just being ourselves worked well.
_________________
My account is often forced to do Captchas so I may be slow to reply or perhaps even unable to reply.
