Coming across as "creepy"

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Heh. You do remind me a lot of my guy friend -- not the aforementioned, but technically my now 'ex' -- though he may be more insecure in general. He's not the best communicator, though, and tends to be uncomfortable in social situations. He's learned to be more social in general, especially with women (I helped out there for the last seven years, which, I think, is a testament to why having women friends is important and should not be overlooked).

But finding the 'right' woman is difficult for him because he has a major hang up with physical appearance. There is one woman I have in mind who he refuses because he is not his physical type. No, she's not culturally considered gorgeous, but I think she's cute. My point here is that many men, especially those who are fairly specific in their needs like those with ASDs, may be selling themselves short on options due to focusing on physical attractiveness. Not only is it more intimidating, it is so for a good reason -- many men are going to want her for the same reasons.

Finding a compromise there would probably help all around, I'd bet. You might find a girl who's more insecure about her image because she knows she doesn't measure up, which can mean some problems, but you could also find the best personality match. I'm a firm believer that you can love anyone and even find them physically attractive if you just allow yourself to fall in love with their personalities. I don't think that's an easy move for people with insecurities, or those who're susceptible to cultural standards of visual attractiveness.

As for everything else, working hard to improve theory of mind as much as possible, or at least finding a sort of work around, is probably always a good step. Women really go for men who can 'connect,' which is one way my ex has attracted women to him. It sounds obvious, and it may not seem like 'you,' but you could be surprised, too.

Quite right....once you lower the importance of physical beauty you will find that you are surrounded by some amzing and extremely attractive ladies or gentlemen. They might not catch your eye immediately, but they will intrigue your brain. Even if it does not end in relationship, the foundation for friendship is also cast...

As for weirding someone out, I was told about a certain girl people wanted to introduce me to. Then one day I saw a nice girl, connected the dots and reealized it was her, so I called her by her name and introduced myself, thinking I am soooooo clever. She immediately asked how I knew her, I told her I figured it out. SHe got a look of fear and rapidly walked away. Needless to say, I have not heard from her again. She must have thought I am some kind of psychic. Some people just don't understand genius in action

AFAIC, a douchebag is a passive-aggressive man, usually straight but tends to act faggoty most of the time.

That's okay. I don't mind a faggoty fenimine guy that skips along sometimes. As long as he doesn't beat the s**t out of you.

That fits well into the description, actually. It's just that I was thinking that's not all there was.

But if one is deliberate and quick, then one might seem too forward or be penalized for deviating from previous behavior patterns. If one is not quick, then that's creepy, too. Damned if you do and damned if you don't, you just can't win! It seems that there's only a very narrow region of behavior that is not considered creepy.

I think this has been my downfall with a lot of girls. They would find my pleasant demeanor appealing then I ruin it by trying to play the manipulation game. Silly cliches like 'nice guys finish last' f****d with my head too much.

Yes, exactly. I would suggest not listening to that, since worrying about it may, in itself, cause you to behave differently without even quite knowing it. Plenty of nice guys get the girls, I see it very often.

The guy I'm with now is a nice. So far so good.

It takes an elementary mind or a brutally low self-esteem to buy into those kind of ideas - for most of my life I had the latter.

I've really just given up on trying to fake my way over and out of it - it takes so much focus and mental energy that I'd in the past practically ruin my day over what one or two suspect people might think of me if I showed any amount of 'disabled' gestalt (even then, you can only hold the picture perfect NT act up for so long - or they see all the cracks in it almost immediately anyway). Most of the degree I have of autism (I think) is what's left on the outside, in the sense that while I'm perfectly aware of what's going on my facial expressionality has holes in what it can cover, looks strange and yes - disabled - when my energy level is low, if I'm on I can talk but if I'm off I'll be stuttering, say all kinds of things that seem appropriate but fall flat, and still have a problem with gaze aversion and the reason I never think that'll go away is that when I trace it back to the causes (the physical) I've also learned the hard way that I can't expect to find a healthier place by just throwing confidence at the problem, the holes in my social skills and how I can physically bring myself to act (consistently) means that I'd just be f'ing with people's heads twice as much.

So, my automatic reflex when I'm dealing with someone in an awkward situation and do so repeatedly is I hunker down - I just stop making eye contact, yes - I act skiddish, insecure, and it has a very definite effect - they pay attention to it, react negatively, if I try to break through it and show some civility it barely goes anywhere. Its not all black though, it doesn't happen with everyone or all the time, but I've also found that many of these situations I'm best not worrying about - they're no win and unless I can just snap my fingers and say cure myself its kinda pointless to bother at this point, having tried everything at my disposal thus far.