Don't whine/complain about your dating/dateless situation

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My experience seems to be the opposite of the OP. When I've tried to directly find a partner, the results have always been embarrassing and depressing. When I haven't, I've found partners. It's possible to try too hard with important things. There's probably a small subset of the population who would benefit from being told to get on with it in block capitals, but it's going to be hard to reach them without insulting everybody else in the process. Try telling us something we don't know.

Cmon people we got an Alpha male in the house Psyching us up! C'MON ! Lets get ENERGISED!

LMAO. I wish I was an Alpha male! I spent years agonizing over the fact that I'm not one, and once I stopped the whole "woe is me" act, things started to change.

What I've posted is far from a "formula", its just what I did and has helped me (but I still have a loooooong way to go). Your results may vary, but odds are good that if you can at the very least START to change your attitude about your life, things will improve (note that I'm not saying you will become a Don Juan alpha male overnight, much less ever.)

This is why I can't agree with this thread that says reading books is the answer. There's too much variation in the real world and you have to think on your feet. I fell in to the trap before thinking more imformation was the answer. The truth was, I had lots of information, but lacked the skills to apply it.

My advice to someone looking to gain a skill. Read a book on the skill you want, then apply it for 10 hours for every hour it took to read it before reading another one.

There is no "the" answer, and if there is... I sure as hell don't have it. The only thing I know for sure is that I've been there, in that frame of mind where everything seemed hopeless, where I was never going to meet someone and end up becoming a "born again virgin" (if I hadn't already been after going almost a decade without).

I didn't wake up one day with some new ability, it took some actual effort on my part to change to where I'm at least better with women that I had been previously, at least enough to pull off the occasional fling (not that I'm into that sort of thing anymore at my age) and be competent enough to talk my way into getting a first date from time to time (read: not totally mess it up when I notice she seems interested). It's taken years to get here, and yet I'm still no better off than some kids in high school.

As far as the books, the idea behind that was to take some sort of effort to improving yourself. For me, the act of getting dressed and out of the house into the public was a bigger deal than actually getting any kind of book (I was that bad and that depressed for a while). The info just helped in certain situations, and you're right that there aren't enough books in the world to cover every single possibility we might face, but having a few reference points on common situations can certainly be helpful - IMHO.

Yes, I agree with this. : )

I used to think that all my problems would be over if I could just get a girlfriend. But when I did, I found that they were only just beginning.

But whining and complaining are the only 2 things im good at. Well also annoying people and they want me to stop doing that too!

finally, a real aspie on this thread. I shake your hand brother.

Don't really care for the whole alpha male route. OP has fallen for the usual 'break in through the front door' methodology and it's got the most competition to deal with.

Someone told me that most people make relationships with someone that's been a close friend. This may be slow but at least I don't have to learn or try to be a pretentious stud.

Though I would like to raise this question with you,
Why exactly do you crave a girlfriend/boyfriend so much?

Because maybe you can get just as much fulfillment from just having close friends, including female friends who could possibly become something more over time. The only thing more that a girlfriend has to offer is that you're much closer (which takes time anyway)... and sex. But who really cares that much about sex? A lot of men do it and say it wasn't what they expected.

Intimacy and having someone who thinks and cares about you is the best goal but this can't be achieved overnight. Trying to beat the tide of competitors and be a stud in the datiing scene is more trouble than it's worth. Too much cheating, dishonesty, and game-playing if you ask me.

So here's the real advice: Think outside the box.

Where did I ever say anything about being an "alpha male"?

The whole point was if you wallow in pity about your situation, you WILL NOT change your situation for the better.

If you attempt to change it and at least try to have a positive attitude, you at least have a shot at things changing, even if its only a small chance. You don't need to become Don Juan or anything like that.

*whines*

Wait... I'm married. Oh f**k it. *complains*

I can complain about being single all I want, what is it to you?

Word.

The Hand is very important.