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purchase
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30 May 2011, 10:28 am

Thank you so much hyperlexian. I know you're right on all counts. It hurts too much to think of now though, esp. that everything's all set... I'll PM you like I've been meaning to once I get a tiny bit more organized. Thank you for being so supportive and helpful and caring.



OneStepBeyond
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30 May 2011, 10:29 am

Prince is 5'2?!



purchase
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30 May 2011, 10:36 am

From Answers.com: Prince is 5'2" without his trademark heels.



hyperlexian
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30 May 2011, 10:37 am

purchase wrote:
Thank you so much hyperlexian. I know you're right on all counts. It hurts too much to think of now though, esp. that everything's all set... I'll PM you like I've been meaning to once I get a tiny bit more organized. Thank you for being so supportive and helpful and caring.

you're welcome, of course. don't worry about replying if you're busy.

((((big squishes of hugs))))


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The_Face_of_Boo
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30 May 2011, 11:14 am

purchase wrote:
Face of Boo.,

I'm doing this to validate my ridiculous hope that this thing (mine) might work out but it's also true:

Prince is 5'2 and I would find him extremely sexy if he were an unknown performing in a bar to 12 people.

Michael J. Fox is 5'4 and has been my idol since I first watched my favorite movie Back to the Future. He's a talented actor. Would be if he were an unknown also.

My point being - I swear to God I hope the limits that you have delineated for what is and isn't out of people's leauges are not absolute.

OH and I know I'm not a model but Prince does "get" models.


Prince is a celeb, if you were a celeb you would be able to get that hot guy and maybe even a hotter guy, the talent and the whole fame thing would make you way more attractive.

Celebs are bad examples if you are trying to prove anything (they are exceptional people, they do not represent the norm).

Anyways, I was trying to make some points:
- You cannot expect to get a drop-dead gorgeous guy if you are not as or similarly gorgeous.
- You cannot expect to get a guy with 6-packs body if you do not have the generic female hot body.
- None of the hot guys (with extremely desirable physical attributes) is entitled to date you just because you are wanting those attributes.
- Your mind, your esteem and your dating life would way better if you seek guys who are in the 'appearance/body equivalent' zone of your own appearance/body.

PS: Your problem has been revealed, you sound that your standards are unrealistic.



Janissy
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30 May 2011, 11:31 am

purchase wrote:
[I think the only problem, the only thing that makes this unrequited, is my looks.

.


Maybe. But "looks" encompases a lot more than just "pretty" and "not pretty". People have preferred looks based on what a particular look symbolizes to them. I learned that with unrequited crushes in my early 20's. In one instance, I was just crazy about a boy who I thought was just exactly right for me. We even became friends. I came onto him just about as strongly as you can but he remained unmoved (but did like me "as a friend"). I made myself just about as sexy as I could (per all of Ricky's suggestions). Then one day he showed up crazy in love with a plain (I thought), frumpy (I thought) girl in full hippie regalia. She brwed him herbal tead and made her own granola and wore jewelry she'd made herself. He was smitten. I cautiosly asked him about her. It turned out he desperately wanted a hippie girl because he thought she was "the opposite of what's wrong with the world".

That experience was a frying pan to my head. I realized that it is literally true that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. There are few men who are attracted to abject ill health (per Ricky5's picture of women so overweight they may have died of heart disease by now), but given a state of good health, people are attracted to those who ping something deep inside them which may be as much symbolic as anything else.

All to say that you have no idea what he considers pretty or why. So attempting to make yourself over in the hopes of stumbling across his archetype is pointless.

Unrequited crushes are painful, but they can be a learning experience. What I learned is that if you are not somebody's type, no amount of exercise, makeup and fashion choices will make you into their type. It may even be the exact opposite of what they are looking for. Best to take care of yourself (health is a baseline of attractiveness in most cases) and look how you want to look. The way you look will undoubtedly be somebody else's type. And then you will either pair up or be the object of somebody else's unrequited crush.



ValentineWiggin
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30 May 2011, 12:51 pm

OneStepBeyond wrote:
ricky you joker.


HA! Knew it.


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30 May 2011, 3:33 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
purchase wrote:
Quote:
Can a short guy like me for example get a 180cm model girl? (there are exceptions....and Tom Cruise is filthy rich btw).


How tall are you out of curiosity? This may give me something to work with theoretically.


160 cm


I am 1.5cm taller. Anyway that sounds like plenty of height to me. I once went out with a guy who was 5"2 and I was in a relationship with a guy who was 5"4.

I like being 5"3 as it means I can date all heights. i have learned I probably shouldnt date over 5"10 though.


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