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sunshower
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18 Oct 2011, 6:17 pm

Oh. This is an old thread resurrected, and I've already responded in the past. Oops. :oops:

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mra1200
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18 Oct 2011, 6:39 pm

smudge wrote:

That's the thing. Eye contact is so simple.

It's a reflex that I can't stop. If I don't know someone at all, I immediately look away if they notice that I'm looking at them. If I don't know someone very well, it's still difficult to look them in the eye.

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Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 61 of 200
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Joker
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18 Oct 2011, 9:42 pm

TeaEarlGreyHot wrote:

Fnord wrote:

I think that acting lessons helped me. One of the most basic methods of acting is to imagine how some other actor might handle the role. Some of the actors that I've tried to emulate in social situations include Humphrey Bogart, Leonard Nimoy, Michael Shanks, and John Wayne.

By "emulate", I do not mean "impersonate"; I mean that when in a situation where I must give a lecture on some process or piece of technology (for example), I might ask myself, "How would Daniel Jackson handle this?" (Dr. Daniel Jackson is a Michael Shanks character). Then I try to behave the same way that I've seen the character behave on TV; in this case, I would fidget with my glasses, frown at the floor, focus on my PowerPoint, and occasionally glance at my audience. No one catches on, and people praise me for my presentation skill.

Then I go into the loo, throw up from the stress, and get back to my regular work.

Yes, acting definitely helped me, too.

Acting as really helped me, I am very good at it.

auntblabby
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18 Oct 2011, 10:01 pm

i couldn't act to save my life, i lack the genes for it. i cannot hide what i am or pretend to be otherwise.

Rocky
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19 Oct 2011, 3:48 am

LovesMoose wrote:

Here's what I've consistently noticed, both as a special education teacher during my brief "career" and as an adult with Aspergers:

People on the spectrum tend to be very articulate and prolific communicators via writing. When we are writing, gone is the body language and all the social hangups that create obstacles for us. Writing is a straight shot to the brain. The words flow more easily and are much less guarded. Hence how incredibly active this online community has become.

Well said! I suspect that there are web sites for deaf people that are similar in this way. I also enjoy the fact that I have time to consider whether to say something, as well as how to say it. So many times in real life conversations, I wish that I could have "erased" what I said to someone! :oops:

cil23
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19 Oct 2011, 6:45 am

I guess I've just answered my own question above, but meh, would be interesting to see why others are here.[/quote]

Well i guess the reason im here is that i only recently found out that i am an aspie but i have always felt different. So for me this is a learning tool to understanding how aspergers has affected my 44 years of life and in what areas i may be able to become more aware of the effects. After having multiple failed relationships with what i know know are NT's and having over 31 jobs, im now starting to understand why.

JClesinge
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19 Oct 2011, 9:53 am

Karuna wrote:

I'm a lot better at giving advice than following my own advice.

Aren't we all? I'm infinitely better at solving other people's problems than my own. It's frustrating that people rarely take good advice, but then, I rarely do the things that I suggest would help others with their problems.

Fascinating thread, shame it seems to have died =(

smudge
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19 Oct 2011, 10:24 am

Glad I did something right on here.

I think I'm poor at coming across as decent on here, so I give up. I'm not visiting anymore - I've made a couple of friends on here recently IRL and they're great. As for everyone else, well - I can't be bothered. Most of you live thousands of miles away, and I'm never going to meet any of you. Time to cut links for a while and concentrate on achieving IRL.

If you want to carry on the thread - be my guests. I don't really care about the outcome of it.

Thom_Fuleri
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19 Oct 2011, 11:15 am

mra1200 wrote:

smudge wrote:

That's the thing. Eye contact is so simple.

I tend to avoid eye contact for much the same reason. I can do it, but I need to remember to do it. When prompted I will. When in certain situations I will (such as interviews), because that's all part of the routine I follow. But generally, it just doesn't occur to me.

JClesinge
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19 Oct 2011, 11:44 am

smudge wrote:

Shame; I've just arrived and you seem an interesting bloke to talk to. Remember that everyone here has some issue with interaction, so any time you have trouble relating to someone, it could be either party having the communication problem. That's true of NTs too, BTW; sometimes it's just a personality clash. We just get it more often, and are probably more inclined to blame ourselves for the way we come across, without considering that the other person be a) in a bad mood, b) an idiot, or c) an a**hole.

JClesinge
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19 Oct 2011, 11:48 am

Thom_Fuleri wrote:

mra1200 wrote:

smudge wrote:

That's the thing. Eye contact is so simple.

I can relate to that; I don't have a problem with eye-contact per-se. I just forget to do it, particularly when shaking hands; I automatically look at the person's hand, rather than their eyes.

Fnord
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19 Oct 2011, 12:43 pm

smudge wrote:

What are you doing on here? What use is this forum to you? Do you only go on here when you're feeling down, or do you just like offering advice? Do you contradict your own advice IRL?

Sometimes I learn something, especially in regard to interpersonal relationships. Sometimes I recognize my own behavior in others, find it distasteful, and seek change in myself. Sometimes I think I may have actually done some good for someone else - not often, but sometimes.

Most of the time, however, it's because when people see me face-to-face, they get that look on their faces that implies they've just stepped into something unpleasant - I'm not exactly pretty - so I log on here so as to not see anyone turn away from me in revulsion.

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aussiebloke
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19 Oct 2011, 7:13 pm

smudge wrote:

Smartest thing you've said so far Smudge

A member near me asked for volunteers for a "Meet Up" her

than her

. I did offer my services to her and she thanked me apparently it was a crazy warehouse guy going out of sale offer it was for a concert and now she's 100% out of our ranks.

It needs to be asked if nothing can come out of it why bother going to the effort. :shrug:

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