People who take too long to reply

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This thread should die...

Yes, maybe. Keep spitballing. I don't stop until I've found 10 possibilities.

While I tend to agree, adversity and hardship can be great teachers...

Is this one of those meltdown things where you're meant to stop challenging an autistic? I never got that. If you aren't challenged you're dead already.

Op didn't do anything wrong. Like I said previously in the topic, the girl was probably interested at first but unsure and changed her mind. She probably had mixed feelings about him.

And yes waiting for people is actually very annoying when there's A DATE PLANNING. She lied and made him wait. You might say that he should have known already that she wasn't interested any-more. Maybe but she still lied and made him waste is time so there's nothing wrong in telling her that she's annoying because it's the truth!.

End of the story.

It's highly unlikely that she lied.

Ok not lying but being very unclear and abandoning her idea of dating him without being clear and telling him.

She didn't owe him an explanation. They're complete strangers.

And there's nothing wrong with him telling that he wasn't interested any-more because she was taking too much time and ignoring him.

True. Unless he really wanted to date her of course.

On the other hand, regarding who's lying, saying you're not interested then completely freak out when she didn't respond, display duplex intentions.

This girl has not lied to anyone and she is not a b***h. Steady on, you are scaring me!

I'm an NT woman, maybe she is and so this might help......

She changed her mind cos she sensed you were too keen, too needy.

She comes across a nice looking guy. You write interesting stuff in a blog. Thats a hook. As an Aspie you are most likely smart and independent thinking - very attractive to smart NT women. You look nice mate, you are handsome SO she interested - that was sincere FFS????? How can it be anything else?

But you should have let her come back in her own time. Instead you rang alarm bells by going back too needy.
The fact you now think she's a b***h now, actually proves that her antennae were right. Sorry but your reaction is over the top. You are just frustrated, its not your fault, but I'm sure if you relaxed you'd have girls crawling all over your handsome stripey self.

Look, anything could have been happening to her in the time you waited. It really wasn't a long time (couple of days).
She is not a b***h, a liar or insincere. In the short time you waited, she was living her life. She may have been mulling over a prospective date with an interesting and handsome man. Stuff was going though her head. She was working it through - and might have come back raring to go! Lets imagine some thing she might have been mulling on:

- "I just got left by my boyfriend. Am I really ready for another date? Perhaps I only liked him cos he looked like Jimmy"
- "I'll show my mate his blog and see what they think. I'm so f*****g useless at picking men myself"
- "um, he had a lot of questions, what should I say back to him?"
- "he seemed very keen and pressing me, not too sure now. I have a small doubt, did he seem a wee bit needy like that guy that ended up tatoo-ing my name on his face after a week?"

Or, perhaps most of her mind was on christmas problems/family illness/personal illness/shyness/fear of getting back on a horse after a big fall...........blah blah blah. f**k knows (and now you will never know either cos you wont have the chance to ask her at a later day why she was so slow (if 2 days is slow which I don't accept).

Please relax next time. Aspies are the worst people in the world to criticise people for being too slow. All the aspie people I know have f*****g awful sense of time. Maybe she is an Aspie with an awful sense of time?

I can come up with hundreds more explanations that don't make her a b***h or a liar or insincere. The idea that you now think she a b***h comes from the neediness she sensed. Her antennae were right. The idea that someone thinks she is a liar is just pants. Relax next time and get the girl.

"Why do you take so long to reply to my messages... I'm not really interested anymore."
That totally says you were still interested. Nail in coffin .

You do not lose interest. You have too much. Relax. Want it less. You look lovely, if you are lovely too you deserve a nice girl. If you can't relax then you are going to have to make friends of girls first and let them fall for you slowly, they will see all your strengths and fall for them and wont care about any neediness, if fact they will like that too, once the strengths are apparent cos they know you.

I don't think she owes him anything, nor that he owes her anything. She may very well have been sincere, but maybe she simply goes at a slower pace than he does. Maybe she was trying to decide what to say in her post back to him. Maybe she had someone else with her at the time, since her last post to him, and didn't want to be responding to another guy's post with some other guy around.

The only thing I saw that would have put me off, back in the day of dating, was when he mentioned that he didn't want to give too much information. You don't have to mention that, just simply don't give the information. She doesn't require any information at the beginning anyway other than the guys name and where they are going on their date. I also think that his last post to her kind of blew the whole thing.

I also disagree that he needs to be at the top of her priority list while she is online. They have not met or dated and there is no implied commitment, except a possible date in the future. She may also be talking to another guy or two who she may like more.

There can be many reasons that someone doesn't reply back in a timely manner. I know that on facebook, sometimes I don't get the notification that I have a message and don't know that I do until I click on the icon to write a message, then I see the unanswered message. I actually missed a message from a good friend who needed to borrow something because of that.

Going in to a potential dating scenario with the idea that someone owes you something is a recipe for disaster. Simply because someone doesn't respond on your timeline does not make them insincere or a liar. A potential date is also not always a top priority for many people. It's a fun thing, yes, but it's not top priority. Also, she may not have wanted to seem too eager. Many women and men back off a bit because they don't want to give the impression of being too eager. I see nothing wrong with eagerness, but some do.

I would just leave this situation alone, learn from it, and then handle the next in a different manner. If she does respond then explain the last post by saying that you were having a bad day.

It's okay to mess this stuff up a thousand different ways so long as you learn from it each time.

Ah, I misread the original post. He said he didn't want to ask her for too much info right away. Nothing wrong with that.

Probably the best way to handle it would have been to say "Sure, I'd love to have coffee with you. Let me know when you would like to meet and I'll see if I can make it". Then wait for her response.

Not everyone follows up quickly. Some people may not at all. That's just how it works, even though it can make things inconvenient many times.

well I agree with leviathan and the rest of you are all wrong because she DID lie to me, and I DID want to go on a date with her and BECAUSE we were making PLANS and she IGNORED me DELIBERATELY you can SEE how that would PISS someone off.