Is really "attractive looking" an individualistic opinion?

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I'm a person who values aesthetics, admittedly.

I admire beauty. I would like to be seen as being attractive.

I'm no Adonis....but I make do with what attributes I "have."

I've been totally turned off by "beautiful" women.

I've been wildly turned on by people whom many would find "unattractive."

I once had a terrible crush on a train conductor woman who weighed about 250 lbs and had a pretty rough face. We made a personal connection based on poetry.

Ok Pot,
Just my 2 cent. I don't like the concept of online dating sites, much to impersonal, formulaic and lacking in spontaneity. Its a structured approach decided on by a company, that does not seem to accommodate everyone.

I think that it is like with all things, it matters how you use it. A good thing is that it gives you the opportunity to meet people that you would never meet otherwise. But I agree from what I understand there are like specialized dating sites like for beautiful/rich/well educated people that seek likeminded, and I think at first it sounds horrible and my second thought is I'm glad for the people on normal dating sites that they are not there so the people don't have to deal with such "people"...

So is it possible to use it to date people without photographs, like you mentioned? How would that work for men I wonder.

A man without pic would be much less favoured since there's infinite supply of men on dating sites.

How do you mean? Do you mean you wonder if they would get replies?

Yes, they will get this:

Yes, sorry, I meant that if men did not have to submit a photograph, would the premise of a dating site work, do you think?

I think the main function of lists of requirements and attractivity be it IRL or on dating sites, is to reduce possible number of partners to a manageable amount. These things are needed by the majority (NTs) that can attract a majority. That's what cultural traits like fashions, style, music taste were meant to help with before online dating. If you realize this fact, it's not so hard to understand that if you already have a small to non-existent pool of potential partners by being neurodiverse, you'd better skip this, or list neurocompatibility highest on the list, and then take the other "musts" and fill up your list with them if you need it because you have too many possible partners.

In regards to males attractivity ratings of females that are independent of age, these naturally also works to limit number of potential partners. If you are an ordinary 50+ guy you cannot go by your attractivity desires, but if you are a 50+ millionaire you might be able to.

It does work. I setup an experimental okc account without a photograph, and I get regular matchings. One woman even sent a message to me.

It worked better for me when I was very skinny (putting no photo instead of photo), but still pathetically very few.

Putting a no photo seems to work better if you are conventionally not attractive ie. skinny guy. Because they might hope you look the way they like.

Now in my new physique, I get so far better response rate.

Again....Clones.

Not exactly as in real life. In real life you can observe people in daily situations, and flirt with them all without having to talk to them or get to know them. Most importantly, IRL you can judge whether somebody is neurodiverse, something that is more or less impossible to do online.

That would work if the girl of your interest is a coworker/friend/colleague/neighbour, otherwise things work like Tinder.

And yet, once you finally like her based on her personality after knowing her well, she friendzones you because you waited too long.



CLONES.

Perhaps there is hope for the dating sites yet, some replies without photographs is a positive.

Also if she participates in a shared activity. It won't work in a pub, or in other public places (well, the neurodiverse radar does work, but not the other things).



Never happens to me. I'm always clear about my romantic interest with flirting.

Last edited by rdos on 11 May 2015, 7:13 am, edited 1 time in total.

So is there a way to filter out shallow people on these sites?