Importance of driving/transport in a relationship?

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I'll be getting my learner's soon just so I can use it purely for I.D. If people genuinely ask why I'm not driving yet, well, I don't have a damn car yet, so who's am I going to use? My mother's?

And, like I said earlier, it's ridiculous to be judged for not driving if you CAN make your way across town, the state, country and world even though you can't drive.

It's not like the fact you cannot drive instantly means you rely on her for transportation.

And, if it's not required at your job, why should it be considred by employers at all? If you prove able to get there on time, whether that be by bike, train, walking, etc. what's the issue?

If anything, in places with high traffic that are heavily congested, why would telling your employer you have a driver's liscense be an advantage?

In Brisbane, one of Australia's metros, some reports from people living just outside of the city, a 30 minute drive would take just over 4 hours.

"If a girl on a date asks you "Why don't you drive yet?" and you are like "Well...because I am on a disability pension" then be assured she won't go on a second date with you"

- "I have a physical medical condition that makes driving more difficult. I've got my Learner's, but I've really been struggling to drive, but I've been trying - it's just been taking some extra time. Also, I am an environmentalist and not interested in driving as it contributes to CO2 emissions. I also find owning a car too economically costly on my budget. But I will still try to get my license, just for the sake of having one in case of if I ever need it."

And, not a bad thing then if it weeds out the women who can't take that^ for a sincere answer.

Ok, try this speech every time and tells me if it works.

Sarcasm or genuine curiosity?

It's not like any of that speech is a lie. I've got gross motor issues, anxiety, am genuinely an environmentalist, and it's a little hypocritical/silly of me to drive and claim to be one, and have the income you'd expect a high school graduate to have...

So if I'm rejected for being honest, so be it.

"I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I'm not." - Kurt Cobain.

I didn't get my driving license till I was 32 as I didn't need one. And it never affected having a relationship why would it?

Probably another reason not to go on a second date with you. Like Fnord said, if you don't have a car, some other guy will.



But you can't travel very far with means you own, so you're subject to someone else's rules, i.e., alien rules. My father went as far as to explain to me, like you would to a five-year-old, that this means you're alienated---hence, insane. This was about travelling anywhere by any other means than his car, with him driving.



But it means she can't rely on you. There'll always be some other guy she can.



Why not? It's more reliable to have a car in case there's a problem with the other means of transport, and you can be counted on to drive anywhere at a moment's notice. Besides, someone with a driving licence and a car has proven to be resourceful enough to get them.



Achievers are better than triers.



More strikes against you. If you have qualms about wrecking the environment, some other guy won't. If you can't afford a car, some other guy will be able to.



Then accept the set of women you're left with, which may well be the empty set.

Don't worry...you'll get your license when you are ready.

I will tell you, though. I have no capabilities in the area of Parkour--but I could drive, even though it me took a long time.

If you move to Brisbane, I'm sure you'll find girls who don't give a damn whether you have a car or not, since they do the Brisbane urban scene, where parking is a pain in the butt. And the public transport is decent.

To be honest, the ability to drive is quite liberating.

For what's it's worth, the last going off when I was dating I flat out said I am not interested in dating anyone who doesn't have a license except in extreme circumstances. Why? Because almost everyone I knew (including my ex) did not drive and guess who got increasingly saddled with driving duties? Guess who was guilt tripped for asking for $$$? Guess who never once appreciated it?

That's not getting into the fact every adult who doesn't have a license that I know is an overgrown child. You may adore a child but you can't build a romantic relationship with one!

Outrider, if the age under your avatar is correct you're way too young to worry about it. Plenty of people don't get their license until their 20's sometime. I got my L's when I was 17 but let the license expire, then I got them again at 22. Both of my brothers didn't get their license till their early twenties too, and only because it was pretty much a prerequisite for their career choices. I got mine + car so I could help deplete the world's crude oil supplies.

I didn't get my license until age 37.

And I was never considered a child past the age of 17.

I performed my other adult responsibilities (imperfectly, it must be admitted).

In Tokyo they say it's actually faster to get around by bicycle rather than car. Maybe NYC is the same?

It's very dangerous to ride a bike in NYC, especially in Manhattan.

I've done it a couple of times--and I feared for my life.

I would say it might be likely that Brisbane has better provisions for bike riding than NYC.

I see. Different etiquette I suppose. In Japan pedestrians & cyclists rule the road and have right of way. Back in high school I was friends with a Japanese exchange student and we were walking to some sport thingo, and I had to teach her that in Australia [when NOT crossing at a zebra crossing] we had to wait on the kerb and not go until it was safe to cross the road, not step out in front of traffic and expect them to stop

I don't find drivers, by and large, to be impolite in NYC. There are some idiots out there, though.

Pedestrians and bicyclists really DO NOT have the right-of-way for all intents and purposes in American large cities. This only happens in suburban and rural areas, and some small-to-medium sized towns.

These are next few years goals to achieve, these things don't matter until you're in your early 20's. You gotta take it in the context of adult advice being given to a teenager.



Kurt Cobain was a massively successful $ musician that never had to worry about feeding himself, his wife Courtney Love (who was also a successful musician) and his infant daughter, and having proper transportation in non metro congested areas. Social attitudes don't translate to the financial world.

Last edited by Feyokien on 31 Mar 2016, 9:45 am, edited 1 time in total.

And don't forget: the guy wasn't exactly a happy camper.

Yes they're called vagabonds I almost lived the life for a while .


If you're living with her then it does, unless you both live in metro congested central where public transport is a boon. That's adult long term relationships though.


If you can't make it to work on time, then you don't have a job, unless you live close enough that walking it can be done without getting sweaty by the time you get there. Most places of work generally don't want you to smell like BO unless its manual labor.




It wouldn't, unless that congested location lacked adequate public transport. Some companies have "on call" policies where they may need to call you in at any prespecified time. My older brother for example had to do this, he drove his car to his job as a public bus driver in a college town.



Not driving one car isn't going to change shite, just going to make you a little more hungry and less able to find opportunities in the world. I was a bloody Geologist that was well versed in environmental science beyond what politicians and bloggers talk about. It's okay to drive a car. Coal power plants in China (and the U.S. and a lot of other places) are still going to continue to burn without your one car. Clean energy systems will be implemented in the near future.