Why do LTR's have to be so *serious*?

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Well, I have another quick update. I hung out with the two couples again. It was nothing romantic where single men don't belong: it was a brunch buffet. I'll even give the couples credit for not acting overly lovey-dovey at the table. Heck, I actually got a word in when I tried, although I jokingly crossed myself (sign of the cross) when one couple mentioned marriage. That evoked good laughter among the couples, since they know I'm an atheist, as well as my anti-LTR stance.

It was a nice brunch overall. And yet... there seemed to be a toxic cloud hovering over us the entire afternoon, that prevented me from fully relaxing, and weakened the buzz from the Bloody Marys I had. I just couldn't put my finger on it; the cloud... was... just... there. I kept thinking, with fear in my mind: "I'm going to end up like this too!". I pounded two shots of whiskey right after I came home, and browsed some escort sites to take my mind off my fear. On the plus side, I ate so much at the buffet, that I barely had anything for dinner: just string cheese wrapped in a tortilla, and a cookie.

What's really ironic about this situation, is that instead of motivating me to model myself after my relationship'ed friends---like the two couples motivate each other to keep up the commitment level---seeing my friends is making me swear off relationships for the rest of my life. It's not sour grapes, in case anyone says it is. I can easily settle down with the next woman who shows interest. But then I'll end up like my friends. I want a relationship with real fun, not "love" fun; but this doesn't exist in my age group.

Why do you hang out with them if they're that irritating?

I'm not knocking you being irritated with them, I would be too, and I generally don't hang out with couples who act this way because it's silly. (lucky I'm old enough that couples my age don't do this - we're way past this stage of behavior).

"Is it the social chemistry between the girlfriends?"

If I had to guess, I'd say yeah, that's probably it.

A lot of women bond over dumb things that reaffirm their social standing. Like when one of them gets engaged, you have to go show off the ring to your girlfriends so they can all oooh and aaahh over it. And when one gets pregnant, suddenly they all want to be pregnant. And then once the baby is here, they bond over the baby and play dates, buying the SUV and the family stick figures in the back window. It's like the script you follow to 'fit in' and 'be normal.'

It's also completely mindless and no wonder at all why there are so many divorces later in life when you realize all that stuff doesn't actually make you happy.

Yeah that behavior you saw of the women kissing each other and stuff is more attention-seeking behavior. Young women do this sometimes to get attention from men, especially while drinking. The alcohol loosens them up.

You keep mentioning how off-putting a long term relationship would be to you. But once again, you're drawing your conclusion from a very small population.

I hate to say something as lame as "not all women," but really, not all women are like that.

I'm an atheist and have never wanted to have children. That kind of life would be like a horrible punishment to me.

(And I would like to add how difficult it was to find a partner who was like me in that regard. If you think women are lame you should meet some single men whose only focus is to settle down, get married, go to church, and have his wife start popping out his kids. Ugh.)

Luhluhluh, I think we're the only ones following this thread.

I'm aware that "not all women are like that". (Known in the PUA community as "NAWALT".) But about six months ago, my friends started saying "I have to ask my girlfriend. I can't go without her. That's not what love is about.", whenever I invited them to go somewhere with me, even weightlifting at the gym or running on a scenic trail. (Both are masculine activities that don't even come close to cheating.) The answer they'd later give me was always no. That's when I smelled a rat.

The population I'm drawing the conclusion from isn't that small: it's not just two couples. My entire family and all my close friends gave me some very negative messages about marriages and LTR's. Consider...
* My parents argued constantly right in front of me, with screaming, crying, and threats of divorce.
* Other family members didn't have happy marriages, either; a lot of arguing and only minimal romance.
* My parents' friend made a joke how I will have to obey my wife just as I obey my parents as a child.
* My grandmother told me to forget about my personal interests in an LTR, because only "feelings" matter.
* Dating self-help books warn about losing the sense of self in an LTR, which my friends already did.
* My friends' relationships were simply the final straw that broke the camel's back.

Oh, and I'm a childfree atheist too. Welcome to the club.

^ lol if only more aspies had a special interest in remaining forever alone this forum wouldn't be so flooded with teh sad.

_________________
No for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.

Aspie1, I still say they're having fun sharing their joy. It connects them. But from the outside, it's tough looking in, especially when they go on and on and on... It's boring at best, frustrating or depressing at worst.

You need not fear an LTR like theirs though, because you've already set a powerful intention not to have one. You can't have one without consenting, so you won't.

I'm agnostic, atheist by some definitions, and I strongly want to remain child-free. Not being under pressure to have children before my time runs out, if I do find an LTR, I won't lose myself, and I'll work hard to preserve the fun. You seem to feel this is impossible? If so, I don't believe you. It's difficult but not impossible, so why not remain open to the possibility?

If you actually love another human being beyond comprehension there is no alternative, the clunky and cantankerous clouds of ''this is serious business'' on occasion descend and dangle above all else, no matter what supposed point you hover above in life, being magnetized toward a creature that evokes and draws blood through the deep and gnawing pangs of ''love'' is the most serious endeavor you can commit your whole frame toward, it is a very serious destination to sail towards and every ounce of energy ought to zoom there if you mean it with great gusto, it's rarer than you would believe.