40-year-old virgin.

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11 Feb 2018, 8:22 am

Okay it's good to get this feedback. Do you think the Economy explanation is just a little to analytical? Or I'll make myself sound to much like a job applicant?

Daniel89
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11 Feb 2018, 11:10 am

VIDEODROME wrote:

I've been thinking about this some more and how my lack of relationships and virginity has dragged on into my 40s.

It seems like the awkward thing is how to 'break the ice' on the topic of being an older man with no sexual experience or even relationships. I've had to work on my social skills and still tend toward being a loner, but I think things like the Recession hit me really hard and really set me back. I've also had a long run of working night shift jobs or work that requires constant travel so I was never home in town.

Almost 6 months ago I finally got the highest paying local job I've ever had and actually have my own apartment. After months of a stable life, I've thought about meeting people. If my lack of experience appears obvious, maybe I could plea my case against that red flag saying the economy put me in a deep rut and at least I didn't just try random Craigslist hookups.

I do also have a Fetishism issue that might be a Red Flag for some people, but I'm hoping to get around that by finding like minded people on the appropriate dating sites. I might address this in another thread some day.

If you are really worried just lie and say you were a devout Christian and when you stopped being one you had no knowledge of how to date.

VIDEODROME
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11 Feb 2018, 12:15 pm

That's not to far fetched actually. I was raised Catholic and I think it had a repressive influence on me.

fluffysaurus
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11 Feb 2018, 12:35 pm

VIDEODROME wrote:

Okay it's good to get this feedback. Do you think the Economy explanation is just a little to analytical? Or I'll make myself sound to much like a job applicant?

I'm assuming you're aiming at mostly NT females. I think it would sound to them as if you have allowed something to get in your way and to have done that you cannot have really wanted it. Therefor they would identify you as either week or not really liking women (In that way). The only way around that would be to give out huge explanations on being autistic and the difficulties we face until that person can understand why the economy thing would make a big enough difference to count and I don't think that's very practicable.

Much better to give the impression that your lack of experience is due to choices/decisions that you have made in life or preferences that you have rather than down to things not in your control, the economy, luck, a lack of opportunity.

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fluffysaurus
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11 Feb 2018, 12:42 pm

VIDEODROME wrote:

That's not to far fetched actually. I was raised Catholic and I think it had a repressive influence on me.

Yes this is probably one of the best reasons, it benefits from being better known (a lot of people are not really able to comprehend ideas that are new to them well). I wouldn't emphasise that you were repressed, just say your Catholic but your less ridged in your ideas of love now

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VIDEODROME
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11 Feb 2018, 1:32 pm

Thanks for the feedback.

I've now drifted away from Catholicism and religion, it's just that I was raised with it and left the faith over a long time.

SSJ4_PrestonGarvey
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11 Feb 2018, 4:17 pm

I thought I'd posted yesterday once here and one more in another thread, seen the your message has been posted but I guess nothing appeared as I didn't find my post when I checked the day afterwards. What happens if we get moderated? They were long posts so could have been considered off topic perhaps. Do we get a notification if our post got deleted?

Daniel89 wrote:

If you are really worried just lie and say you were a devout Christian and when you stopped being one you had no knowledge of how to date.

I like this idea a lot. Although I never went to church I had to interact with a lot of very religious people. I have read a little bit of the Bible and tried to be open minded but these people just wouldn't be tolerant towards me. Some of them thought I am homosexual because of being weird which would be due to my Aspergers traits. Of course they don't like the LGBT people so if they think you're one then they judge you harshly and saying no just gets them to say you're in the closet/sinning in secret. Now I feel more disgusted by their judgements because since then I've known some LGBT friends.

I was open to it but now I'm pretty alienated from religion. I think Buddhism seems potentially cool though. It's more about mindfulness instead of controlling, judging, shaming and ostracising people. I already have negative thoughts, I hardly feel there is any need to make there be more negative thoughts.

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VIDEODROME
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12 Feb 2018, 10:42 am

SSJ4_PrestonGarvey wrote:

I've had this happen with some of my posts. I wasn't sure if some kind of forum database error just lost it.

If I ever type something long again, I'm tempted copy / save the text some where in case it disappears.

Yokokurama
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13 Feb 2018, 1:27 am

As someone with female body parts, I can tell you women do not care how much experience someone has, unless they're a judgemental twat.

auntblabby
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13 Feb 2018, 1:37 am

in our culture, in that respect at least, there seems to be a lotta those.

collectoritis
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14 Feb 2018, 5:24 am

imhere wrote:

From the girl perspective, just saying, that if a man was with 7 women that's one thing. Acceptable. But if he says he was only with one woman and it was a prostitute, I would not even speak to him again. That's disgusting. If he was never with anyone, that is more desirable than being with one prostitute.

Women and gay men also go to prostitutes so your point is moot. I don't see the problem about what 2 adults do on their own.

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