So it turns out some girls assume I am gay.

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That only happens if you look like you actually have any business being close to someone of the opposite sex other than family members. People don't think I'm gay because I've never been seen with a girlfriend, let alone showing interest; they think it's normal. I don't even think I could ever show interest in real life without having my teeth broken or being jailed for harassment---and subsequently having my teeth broken, and probably my skull, too.

Interesting. I don't even know if anybody assumes I'm gay; nobody's ever made a comment about my sexuality. Maybe they all think I'm asexual.

Post some pics of yourself. Let's see if your looks fit with gay stereotypes.

I would never assume a guy was gay unless he had obvious, stereotypical mannerisms. Fewer people are gay than straight.

You don’t look at all like what I expected! (No innuendo. Just for some reason I pictured you as blonde.) I don’t think that you look gay at all. You don’t look like a tough guy, but rather more gentle. And that’s nice.

You look like a normal sort of guy from the Levant.

I like your new haircut btw.

It's always interesting to me to find out what people assume about my orientation.

Overall, I get a mixture of responses that range from "Wait, you're gay?", "No you're not", to "Yep, I freaking knew it! Called it from the start!" or "How is this news?".

When I came out to my mother she told me that she had always suspected it. Usually when people tell me that they got a vibe or had a suspicion, I am always curious as to why.

People typically assume that I am straight, and a fair few think that I'm dating one of my male friends since we are quite similar in personality. Also, we have known each other for a few years and have a good rapport.

Other times I have had people ask if we are siblings before.

However, interestingly enough I have also had people assume that I'm asexual. Doesn't happen very often, but sometimes it does.

Usually this is when they pick up on my lack of interest in men, but don't see me as a completely stereotypical lesbian so they decide "Oh, perhaps she's asexual".

Very few assume that I'm bisexual, this is usually from men that still want to think that they have a chance with me and don't take rejection well, or people that say that I'm not butch enough to be a lesbian which is just nonsense. You don't have to be full on butch to be a lesbian.

Apparently I “pass for gay.”

I bought into the whole “open-minded” don’t-hate mentality most of my young life. Never really ever got exposed to gays who were out. Was often accused of being gay, but I just figured those were bullies and learned to ignore it.

So when I got to college, I had a naive to non-existent concept of how this worked. I just figured it was ok to do what I wanted, express myself however I wanted, and overall love everyone and be nice to everyone. It didn’t occur to me then just what the optics were. I was a music education major with a concentration in clarinet. I play the piano. So I’m constantly in the company of at least few gay men at any given time. And I’m nice to EVERYONE.

And apparently I have sexy legs.

I never really put it together until one day this friend of mine starts giving me these really goofy looks and starts patting me on the shoulder every time he passes me in the hallway of the music building.

He finally figures me out when my GIRLFRIEND came up to visit. I’d taught her how to play clarinet, basic flag spinning techniques, even composed instrumental music for her auditions and helped with her routine. Oh yeah...forgot that little detail. I once auditioned for band auxiliaries, too. Didn’t make it in. Learned a lot about what NOT to do, and soon after figured out MAYBE flag line just wasn’t for me. But it worked out great for my girlfriend! lol.

Anyway...

So this guy who’s basically been stalking me meets my girlfriend during a recruitment weekend when she goes to hang out with the auxiliary section during a football game. She tells him she’s visiting her boyfriend, he’s in the band, etc. He asks her to point out which one I am, and he says, “oh, you mean the cute little clarinet player? He has the sexiest legs...”

When I found out this had happened, it radically changed my perspective. I don’t feel the need to assert my masculinity or anything like that. But I did see the need to put up some clear boundaries and rethink what behaviors I’d considered appropriate and maybe how my past behavior had been misleading.

I have no hatred or ill-will towards gays. But I have found that by trying to be a warm, inviting, open-minded person does, at least for me, I attract the wrong kind of attention. I haven’t really changed since then. I’ve just adopted some habits to help express who I am without giving people the wrong idea.

In high school people believed me asexual because I quote "never expressed the slightest interest in either gender". That was more from bad self-esteem and shyness than anything else.

The asexuality orientation isn't even known to most people, so the "never expressed the slightest interest in either gender" may be assumed as gay by many as well. I remember in HS a classmate asked me out of blue if I ever get any erection, and when I told him yes he was like in disbelief, I asked him why asking and he was like that he was suspecting there's something growth-wise (aka hormonal) wrong in me.