Perceived sexual threat Unfair or not?

Post Reply New Topic

What do you mean by weird attitude towards women?

I can imagine this is similar to how awkward and self-aware I feel when I run into a store in a hurry to buy one specific item, but immediately see it is not there.

Every time in this situation I feel like I must pretend to be looking for something for everyone to see I didn't find it or to buy something just to avoid suspicion. Then often I immediately feel really anxious and self-aware about how some of my ASD manners could be easily misinterpreted and probably act even more suspiciously.

Jamesy, I think the question for you is how to get out of the vicious cycle of:

- being perceived as "creepy"
- feeling resentful over being perceived as "creepy"
- being perceived as even "creepier" due to said resentment
- feeling even more resentful over being perceived as "creepy"
- being perceived as even "creepier" due to feeling even more resentful ....

and so on.

I would hazard a guess that there are two things you need to do to break the cycle:

1) As others have noted, don't blame the women. People have the right to associate only with people they feel safe with.
2) Stop trying to meet women in bars. Instead, find ways to get to know people via participation in enjoyable group activities.

When making decisions based on uncertain information, it's often a good idea to compare the consequences of being wrong with each option.

So, for the decision: "Should I give this creepy guy a chance?" What are the consequences of a woman making the wrong choice?

If he's harmless and actually really nice, but she avoids him, she misses out on a potential friend or love interest. Unfortunate, but not a big deal in the grand scheme of things.

If he's dangerous, but she decides to trust him, she could be raped, abused, or even murdered. Pretty dire consequences.

It's estimated that 1 out of 4 women has experienced sexual violence. Those that have, tend to be wary about it happening again. Those that haven't, know women it has happened to, and don't want to end up in their position.

people are aloud to feel threatened . they might watch too much tv or naturally be on high alert .

i'm super vigilant and it probably makes people avoid me in particular circumstances . f**k it . only worry about the close people to you .

chances are OP that there is something people are perceiving .

if needs pay for a hooker , and learn how to make people not feel uncomfortable . btw im not suggesting you are creepy . sometimes something as simple as standing face on to people can make them feel threatened .. strange i know .. but true .

I totally get why women feel the need to protect themselves & I would encourage them & anyone really to take proactive steps for protecting themselves when dating or meeting up with somebody new. I would also like to point out that it is quite possible for a guy who's perceived as nonthreatening & makes great 1st impressions to actually be quite dangerous. I've watched a bit of those real life crime shows & it's not uncommon for the perps to be perceived in a positive way for a bit & then things suddenly turn very bad. I guess I get why women tend to see awkward & creepy guys as threats but it is NOT that black & white. There are plenty of awkward seemingly creepy guys who are real sweethearts & misunderstood & there are also plenty of charming charismatic guys who are horrible people. I'm not saying that judging the awkward creepy guys as dangerous is unfair or not. We have the right to judge people for anything & be judged for anything. That's the way the world works & it is not about being fair or unfair. It's ashame there is not a surefire system to determine who is really dangerous & who is not but we cant literally read minds or sense emotions like Deanna Troi in Star Trek TNG. That could be a much needed improvement for the criminal justice system if people could.



I have a question for you Fnord. If somebody is often thought to be a creep or a threat because of they are a minority race & were born in an extremely racist area, Is it that person's fault because they can not change their skin color? I'm NOT trying to start a giant debate that belongs in PPR but in that analogy the person would be the common denominator but it would be because of something they literally have no control over. What if that person was a teenager who was posting on this forum about getting beat up at school regularly because of his race, Would you actually tell him that he's the common denominator & needs to change himself somehow? I know your not like that Fnord, I'm trying to make a point.