What kind of woman would think Asperger's is sexy?

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05 May 2019, 5:40 am

Arganger wrote:

cyberdad wrote:

For anybody with a reddit account; these 25 accounts from girls who had dated men with Aspergers/autism is very enlightening.
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomen/comme ... istic_guy/

Short version, try not to be overly obsessive about it, let things go, and listen to your partner and you should be mostly good to go.

I found the obsessive bit kinda ironic considering that most of the time I when I read complaints by NTs about us Aspies(even LOTS of NTs who posted on this forum & other sites), complain about Aspies not caring or not being affectionate enough & wanting to do their own things instead of spending time with their partner. Personally I get obsessed with my partner & LOVE spending time with her but I consider my personality within a relationship kinda the opposite of a typical Aspie. I felt I was in a very screwed over area when it came to dating cuz I couldn't get in relationships with NTs cuz they were NOT direct & straightforward enough but my personality within a relationship was more like what NTs would want than what another Aspie would want.

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sly279
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05 May 2019, 1:17 pm

nick007 wrote:

Arganger wrote:

cyberdad wrote:

For anybody with a reddit account; these 25 accounts from girls who had dated men with Aspergers/autism is very enlightening.
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomen/comme ... istic_guy/

Short version, try not to be overly obsessive about it, let things go, and listen to your partner and you should be mostly good to go.

That’s cause aspies are not clones, it’s a spectrum and we are all different.
Others say aspies are clingy which goes in face of saying aspies are all distant and uncaring.

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nick007
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05 May 2019, 2:46 pm

sly279 wrote:

nick007 wrote:

Arganger wrote:

cyberdad wrote:

For anybody with a reddit account; these 25 accounts from girls who had dated men with Aspergers/autism is very enlightening.
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomen/comme ... istic_guy/

Short version, try not to be overly obsessive about it, let things go, and listen to your partner and you should be mostly good to go.

That’s cause aspies are not clones, it’s a spectrum and we are all different.
Others say aspies are clingy which goes in face of saying aspies are all distant and uncaring.

True but they do have to have some characteristics in common in order to have a diagnoses of it in the 1st place. There are stereotypes about Aspergers & being loners towards friends & romantic partners is one of them. Us being obsessive & clingy is the opposite of the stereotyped Aspie. It is possible for us Aspies to be that way but it is NOT a common Aspergers trait & the NT woman who had a problem with "her" Aspie behaving like that, is very wrong to paint other Aspies with the same brush when that is NOT a common Aspie trait.

Arganger
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05 May 2019, 10:23 pm

nick007 wrote:

sly279 wrote:

nick007 wrote:

Arganger wrote:

cyberdad wrote:

For anybody with a reddit account; these 25 accounts from girls who had dated men with Aspergers/autism is very enlightening.
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomen/comme ... istic_guy/

Short version, try not to be overly obsessive about it, let things go, and listen to your partner and you should be mostly good to go.

That’s cause aspies are not clones, it’s a spectrum and we are all different.
Others say aspies are clingy which goes in face of saying aspies are all distant and uncaring.

Let's put it this way; normally it's not, but if the other person becomes a special interest themselves, it very much so can be. Autistic people tend to just not be lukewarm about things, either they become passionate to some level about it, or pretty distant and unconcerned. This can change by the day. And a lot of the autistic people I know like to fill up the feeling of loneliness with a few close friends they care a lot about and try to spend time with them, it's just after that time they need to be by themselves for a while.

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06 May 2019, 12:13 am

nick007 wrote:

sly279 wrote:

nick007 wrote:

Arganger wrote:

cyberdad wrote:

For anybody with a reddit account; these 25 accounts from girls who had dated men with Aspergers/autism is very enlightening.
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomen/comme ... istic_guy/

Short version, try not to be overly obsessive about it, let things go, and listen to your partner and you should be mostly good to go.

That’s cause aspies are not clones, it’s a spectrum and we are all different.
Others say aspies are clingy which goes in face of saying aspies are all distant and uncaring.

I'm not sure that it's as uncommon as you say. I don't have any studies to base this on, but I mean, it was maybe just 2-3 examples in the Reddit thread of the guy being like that, out of what a couple dozen? I'm not saying that's necessarily representative of ASD men in general or even if it were that 8-12% of such guys is a huge percentage. But if it were representative, it's not a trivial number either that's potentially as much as 1/8th of us and at least atm I'd certainly be clingy and needy. I mean not all the time and sure there are plenty of times I'd wanna be alone or w/friends or whatever, but it's been so f*****g long since I've been in a relationship I'd want to spend alot of time w/her, probably to the point of excess. And even though this is anecdotal, an aspie friend of mine has told me an aspie ex of hers needed frequent validation for his anxiety and related issues, for example. She couldn't take it any more after a certain point. So I would guess, this is more common than you perhaps think it is.

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06 May 2019, 3:43 am

nick007 wrote:

That’s cause aspies are not clones, it’s a spectrum and we are all different.
Others say aspies are clingy which goes in face of saying aspies are all distant and uncaring.

I would read the reddit comments made by NT girls about their experiences of having relationships with autistic guys. It's not mean't to hurt people's feelings but rather to educate.

Women generally aim for a male who they perceive to be a higher social status than they are. Social skills are one aspect but not the only thing a girl is attracted to, I know many Aspie males are also financially successful and physically attractive and this might swing a girl's decision. But first impressions count and even an average NT girl can take their pick of any boy.

I have read posts on WP from aspie guys who are waiting for good looking NT girls (there seems to be an obsession here about not dating fat girls)

I think for a long term relationship it's better to find an NT girl who is going to be patient/tolerant with your aspergers....looks shouldn't be a criteria as there isn't much left in the dating pool after all the NT guys take first pick.

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06 May 2019, 3:55 am

cyberdad wrote:

nick007 wrote:

That’s cause aspies are not clones, it’s a spectrum and we are all different.
Others say aspies are clingy which goes in face of saying aspies are all distant and uncaring.

Please point to us where there’s an obsession here about not dating fat girls, can you quote any posts?

I am waiting...

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06 May 2019, 4:03 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

cyberdad wrote:

nick007 wrote:

That’s cause aspies are not clones, it’s a spectrum and we are all different.
Others say aspies are clingy which goes in face of saying aspies are all distant and uncaring.

Please point to us where there’s an obsession here about not dating fat girls, can you quote any posts?

I am waiting...

viewtopic.php?t=337631
viewtopic.php?t=247564
viewtopic.php?t=237267
viewtopic.php?t=227412

It makes for depressing reading

The_Face_of_Boo
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06 May 2019, 4:14 am

cyberdad wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

cyberdad wrote:

nick007 wrote:

That’s cause aspies are not clones, it’s a spectrum and we are all different.
Others say aspies are clingy which goes in face of saying aspies are all distant and uncaring.

Please point to us where there’s an obsession here about not dating fat girls, can you quote any posts?

I am waiting...

viewtopic.php?t=337631
viewtopic.php?t=247564
viewtopic.php?t=237267
viewtopic.php?t=227412

It makes for depressing reading

4 threads which are years apart and the one started by me was obviously a parody against another thread. Just check the small ps there.

Look, “most guys like girls thinner than themselves” and “most girls like guys taller than themselves” are common things exist among most human cultures, not just among aspies or WP.

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06 May 2019, 4:18 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

What are you like a lawyer? you asked for "one thread" and I provided you with 4...

The_Face_of_Boo
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06 May 2019, 4:39 am

cyberdad wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

What are you like a lawyer? you asked for "one thread" and I provided you with 4...

It’s hardly a proof that it’s an obsession here, you digged very old threads.

I can also “prove” that people here are obsessed not to date short men by digging dinosaur threads. :roll:

... or anything else.

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06 May 2019, 5:05 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

I can also “prove” that people here are obsessed not to date short men by digging dinosaur threads. :roll:

... or anything else.

Except that's a vacuous hypothesis. Mine was demonstrated by proof.

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06 May 2019, 5:20 am

cyberdad wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

I can also “prove” that people here are obsessed not to date short men by digging dinosaur threads. :roll:

... or anything else.

Except that's a vacuous hypothesis. Mine was demonstrated by proof.

viewtopic.php?p=5907333

Eureka13 wrote:

yellowtamarin wrote:

My height preference for a partner, male or female, is around 2-5 inches taller. I put this down to my insecurities rather than my femininity (of which I have much less than the average female). I feel uncomfortable around people who are shorter than me, because I feel like I am being put in a position of dominance/power/responsibility/something like that. This includes interacting with children, so it's not just a relationship or peer thing.

I'm also a practical person and therefore I prefer my partner not to be more than a few inches taller, because it is just easier to interact with someone close to your own height (e.g. holding hands while walking).

So...I personally don't think I can related to the research findings, but what's new.

I never realized it until you said it, but that's the way it is for me, too. I've always been the responsible one, and I think I'm just flat tired of it. It started when I was in 4th grade when I was the tallest person in my class for four years in a row, and was the tallest woman I knew for most of my life. I don't have kids (never wanted them - in fact, they terrify me), and the only creatures I want to feel responsible for anymore are my cats. So I'd just as soon ALL the people I interact with be taller than me, so I can relax and let someone else at least SHARE the responsibility for a change. I think that was one of the things I loved about my late fiance - he was SO much taller than me, I felt really safe in his presence. Not just physically safe, but safe in the sense that I didn't feel like I had to make all the decisions and be the one to have to take care of everything. Maybe that's why I still have a hard time making women friends - I'm just not as comfortable being around people shorter than me......

viewtopic.php?t=371183

viewtopic.php?t=43643

viewtopic.php?t=146854 --> Check the women's responses.

Child of the Universe
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06 May 2019, 4:24 pm

Both me and my boyfriend have autism. All of my exes have had autism. So .. me. I guess.

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Dan82
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06 May 2019, 4:43 pm

Child of the Universe wrote:

Both me and my boyfriend have autism. All of my exes have had autism. So .. me. I guess.

Right, but what kind of woman are you?

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06 May 2019, 6:37 pm

I’d prefer dating an Aspie male over a NT one.

I like nerds, am a nerd, and can’t stand alpha males.

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