Full disclosure: new addition to my OKCupid profile

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Volodja
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10 Mar 2011, 1:34 pm

purchase wrote:
It's a different approach to strength. If you have the belief that it's every man for himself and you have to pull yourself up by your own bootstraps and that is what life is, someone wanting support from others seems weak I suppose. If you place stock in the idea of one's fellow humans coming together and supporting one another (and not ignoring one another and climbing over one another when some of its members are in distress and facing challenges) because this will create a better more truly egalitarian society where no one is left to suffer unsupported, then it is strong to persist in your belief in the possibility of the evolvement of this kind of society. Personally I think it would be, and is to the extent that it exists, a cold world where nobody looks out for their fellow beings. People are social creatures and need the support of others in so many ways it's hard to count.


Huh?

Supporting people - yes. I agree with that 100%

Ignoring and climbing over others - no. when did I ever advocate that?

What I DID say is that wallowing in self pity and doing f**k all about your problems isn't something to be proud of. How can someone sit and complain about something when they do nothing to try and fix it? I will happily support someone who needs it. This whole argument even came about BECAUSE peple were offering jamieboy advice.



jamieboy
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10 Mar 2011, 1:35 pm

Volodja wrote:
Actually it was purchase who brought up the stuff about being strong. Not me. I was simply replying to him/her.

If I'm being completely honest though, from what I've read of your posts, I would have to say I think I AM stronger than you.

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The rest of planet earth can go f**k itself for all i care.


No wonder you can't get a gf



Women love me. I'm a good looking rebel who plays by his own rules rather than a supine dutiful square like some people.



Volodja
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10 Mar 2011, 1:37 pm

jamieboy wrote:
Volodja wrote:
Actually it was purchase who brought up the stuff about being strong. Not me. I was simply replying to him/her.

If I'm being completely honest though, from what I've read of your posts, I would have to say I think I AM stronger than you.

Quote:
The rest of planet earth can go f**k itself for all i care.


No wonder you can't get a gf



Women love me. I'm a good looking rebel who plays by his own rules rather than a supine dutiful square like some people.


lol Women love guys who are too lazy to get a job and do nothign but complain about how society has screwed them over? You even said in this thread that some girl you went on one date with got tired of you and left because you were too depressing :lol:



jamieboy
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10 Mar 2011, 1:38 pm

Zur-Darkstar wrote:
Very little is accomplished by shouting and name-calling by either side. The facts of the matter as I seem them are thus. Malthusian economic theory, which I happen to subscribe to, suggests that unregulated reproduction will always leave a certain amount of surplus labor in any society and invariably condemn said persons to a life of abject poverty regardless of any attempts by government or charity to ameliorate their situation. There will never be enough "jobs", or anything else, to go around not because of any failure of the economy, but rather because of an unnecessary surplus of humanity. In any Darwinian system in which organisms are left to their own devices to fend for themselves, some will thrive while others will struggle, and eventually die. This is how evolutionary theory works. If you're going to tell people to "get a job", you may as well be telling them to go die in a cave because they're less fit to survive than you. Effort and motivation are irrelevant from a biological perspective.

My solution, had I the power to do it, would be to implement population control laws globally that would gradually reduce the human population over a span of several decades or even centuries. If there were more than enough jobs to go around and no surplus of people to do them, we would have no choice but to be more accommodating to the less able members of our society and find ways for them to be productive. As long as it remains cheaper and easier to simply discard those that are deemed unsuitable for whatever reason, be it due to their own foolish choices or unhappy chance, there will always be a segment of the population willing to discard the weak and unproductive in favor of the strong and productive. This is the ironclad law of purely self-interested capitalist economic theory. It cannot be overcome by any amount of rhetoric about laziness or choice.


^^

I like the way Schnrub thinks!



jamieboy
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10 Mar 2011, 1:41 pm

Volodja wrote:
jamieboy wrote:
Volodja wrote:
Actually it was purchase who brought up the stuff about being strong. Not me. I was simply replying to him/her.

If I'm being completely honest though, from what I've read of your posts, I would have to say I think I AM stronger than you.

Quote:
The rest of planet earth can go f**k itself for all i care.


No wonder you can't get a gf



Women love me. I'm a good looking rebel who plays by his own rules rather than a supine dutiful square like some people.


lol Women love guys who are too lazy to get a job and do nothign but complain about how society has screwed them over? You even said in this thread that some girl you went on one date with got tired of you and left because you were too depressing :lol:


aye but i'm flying someone else over from this very forum soon.

It's not about being lazy. Their are 5 million people on out of work benefits and 500,000 vacancies in the economy. WHY CANT YOU GET THAT THROUGH YOUR f*****g THICK SKULL.



Volodja
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10 Mar 2011, 1:43 pm

jamieboy wrote:
It's not about being lazy. Their are 5 million people on out of work benefits and 500,000 vacancies in the economy. WHY CANT YOU GET THAT THROUGH YOUR f***ing THICK SKULL.


If you simply COULDN'T get a job then fine; I don't have a job eiher (I am a student and don't need one right now)

You've said that you won't work a day in your life if you can get away with it though. That doesn't sound to me like it has anything to do with an inability to get a job.



Laz
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10 Mar 2011, 1:45 pm

purchase wrote:
They may or may not be worse but they are definitely different and obviously different problems call for different measures. I am not sure what your particular struggles have been but there is certainly a place for all sorts of coping mechanisms that at first glance to you may seem unwarranted but upon empathetic examination will reveal themselves to be not only sensible but also the only recourse that the individual in question has available to them. Jamieboy is being exactly as strong as you are being. It just looks different cause you're different people living different lives.


The survival mechanism is to display such behaviours. If you associate getting what you are seeking or rewarded by such actions. Then they are positive reinforcements for such behaviour. But then those survival mechanisms are also the barrier towards any successful progression from such a beginning.

The trap is that people become so comfortable in those situations that they then see no need to deal with complex and deeply personal perspectives of themselves. That trap is a revolving door it leads nowhere other than back where you started. The solution is forward, not to indulge in the comfort of what you know.

A problem I have with this point you made is not neccesarily that it does not have validity, but more the implication of "fatalism" and "self fullfilling prophecy" and that if you experianced what they did you would do exactly the same. Because you did not do that you lack the ability to empathise with the situation. Because you do not share their social characteristics you will not understand the origins associated with the identity that comes with being a white anglo-saxon protestant working class man if you are a black middle class afro-americain man (as an example social characteristic) I think this fails to take into account the "free will" of an individual in circumstances and also that it is a reinforcement of defelecting personal responsibility for your own actions and choices.

I also dislike the existential thought that comes to my mind that somehow no one is capable of understanding someone trapped in a situation through which they have arrived at no fault of their own through birth and nurture circumstances.

To me this is the kind of thought that breeds resentment. And resentment in social groups leads to strife and division. Its the origins of anti-semtism, of racism, of all the intolerances were people as groups gather collectively to focus hatred and frustration on a disempowered scape goat. The vey force of human beings that is something we ought to avoid as it only brings out the worst in our nature.

Understanding? By all means Empathy? To ere is human? But don't take that to mean you are absolved of personal responsibility. I think it sets a dangerous presidence when we begin to absolve adults of their responsibilities.


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jamieboy
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10 Mar 2011, 1:55 pm

Laz wrote:
purchase wrote:
They may or may not be worse but they are definitely different and obviously different problems call for different measures. I am not sure what your particular struggles have been but there is certainly a place for all sorts of coping mechanisms that at first glance to you may seem unwarranted but upon empathetic examination will reveal themselves to be not only sensible but also the only recourse that the individual in question has available to them. Jamieboy is being exactly as strong as you are being. It just looks different cause you're different people living different lives.


The survival mechanism is to display such behaviours. If you associate getting what you are seeking or rewarded by such actions. Then they are positive reinforcements for such behaviour. But then those survival mechanisms are also the barrier towards any successful progression from such a beginning.

The trap is that people become so comfortable in those situations that they then see no need to deal with complex and deeply personal perspectives of themselves. That trap is a revolving door it leads nowhere other than back where you started. The solution is forward, not to indulge in the comfort of what you know.

A problem I have with this point you made is not neccesarily that it does not have validity, but more the implication of "fatalism" and "self fullfilling prophecy" and that if you experianced what they did you would do exactly the same. Because you did not do that you lack the ability to empathise with the situation. Because you do not share their social characteristics you will not understand the origins associated with the identity that comes with being a white anglo-saxon protestant working class man if you are a black middle class afro-americain man (as an example social characteristic) I think this fails to take into account the "free will" of an individual in circumstances and also that it is a reinforcement of defelecting personal responsibility for your own actions and choices.

I also dislike the existential thought that comes to my mind that somehow no one is capable of understanding someone trapped in a situation through which they have arrived at no fault of their own through birth and nurture circumstances.

To me this is the kind of thought that breeds resentment. And resentment in social groups leads to strife and division. Its the origins of anti-semtism, of racism, of all the intolerances were people as groups gather collectively to focus hatred and frustration on a disempowered scape goat. The vey force of human beings that is something we ought to avoid as it only brings out the worst in our nature.

Understanding? By all means Empathy? To ere is human? But don't take that to mean you are absolved of personal responsibility. I think it sets a dangerous presidence when we begin to absolve adults of their responsibilities.


ah yeah scapegoats. Just look at the front page of the Daily Mail and Daily star and their attitude to welfare claimants Why exactly do you think people with AS should lose their DLA ? Instead of clawing the deficit back with a tax on banking transactions perhaps? Perhaps you blame autistics for the credit crunch? It's hard to understand the mind of a bigot to be honest.



purchase
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10 Mar 2011, 2:01 pm

Laz,

I see what you are saying but don't agree. I am not saying that there should be a discrete class of individuals who are seen and treated as less able and less capable in a way that cannot be helped. Everyone, EVERYONE, has their own strengths and weaknesses that I believe come to a sum total of 1 (as in 1 person who needs and can give exactly the same as what every other human needs and can offer). I don't think that acknowledging that sometimes people face such challenges that they cannot pull themselves up by their own bootstraps leads to discrimination and societal division. In fact in my experience I've seen the opposite. I have seen within my own (racial) minority community those who see people who did not make it out of the poverty that was a legacy of societal discrimination against people of color as "not trying hard enough" when in actuality the average person when faced with circumstances that tough does have difficulty overcoming the obstacles in their path to "make it" in life. The same way that someone born into a life of relative luxury is more likely than not to continue living an easier-than-most, at least monetarily, life. I do not by any means think that anyone has absolute limits and that no one can understand another's situation unless they are of the same exact description. But there are real challenges that some people face that others do not and pulling oneself up just isn't viable in these cases. It's more egalitarian in my view to accept each person as an individual with unique strengths and unique challenges and try to treat them with brotherly love, and hopefully society will move more toward the point that that is happening as a matter of course.



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10 Mar 2011, 2:07 pm

This has gone way off topic. I did not intend for people to launch personal attacks against each other in this thread either.



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10 Mar 2011, 2:16 pm

Jono wrote:
This has gone way off topic. I did not intend for people to launch personal attacks against each other in this thread either.


Indeed. Let's keep it germane as well as civil.

Go to PPR with the other stuff. :arrow:


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zen_mistress
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10 Mar 2011, 3:49 pm

I think I missed something when I was asleep and digesting the vegetarian sushi.

Anyway, I dont know if I will disclose on my OKCupid page or not. Probably not. I think it will be pretty obvious to anyone I meet that there is something strange about me. :) Im sure as soon as I open my mouth on a first date, they will know. :P


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Jono
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10 Mar 2011, 4:01 pm

zen_mistress wrote:
I think I missed something when I was asleep and digesting the vegetarian sushi.

Anyway, I dont know if I will disclose on my OKCupid page or not. Probably not. I think it will be pretty obvious to anyone I meet that there is something strange about me. :) Im sure as soon as I open my mouth on a first date, they will know. :P


That's what I thought at first. Now I've decided to do it anyway just to see what the reactions would be since I'm not having much success.

Zen-mistress, what do think of profile? There's a link to it on the first page.



zen_mistress
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10 Mar 2011, 4:10 pm

I think it is a great profile. I like that you are being yourself, and you seem like a nice person.

It looks like you would be interested in a girl who is really into science. I think the best way to meet such girls is to go to science events a lot, there will be some girls into science on OKCupid, but I think if you have certain interests it is a good idea to just be out there in real life.

It is good that you have your profile as it is as it is not good to present yourself as something other than you are and then into the relationship find you and the other person are completely incompatible, I should know.


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10 Mar 2011, 4:41 pm

^ do you read Amin Maalouf's works or it's just a random quote?



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10 Mar 2011, 7:18 pm

zen_mistress wrote:
I think it is a great profile. I like that you are being yourself, and you seem like a nice person.

It looks like you would be interested in a girl who is really into science. I think the best way to meet such girls is to go to science events a lot, there will be some girls into science on OKCupid, but I think if you have certain interests it is a good idea to just be out there in real life.

It is good that you have your profile as it is as it is not good to present yourself as something other than you are and then into the relationship find you and the other person are completely incompatible, I should know.


Thanks.