Males with aspergers - STOP BEATING YOURSELVES UP!

Post Reply New Topic

Too much stereotypes about women on this thread and I think many already criticized that.
But this whole thread is stereotyping too, the title, the content of the initial post, when the OP concludes "Ok I get it.. the males here don't want help or encouragement, they just want to wallow about a bunch of crap about women", then that also includes all males here including me, I am a male here but I am not rejecting help/encouragement nor I am whining or wallowing a bunch of crap about women. Yes, I had my bitter moments during a very specific period (about 3 years ago) and due to every emotional reason, but I wasn't much in a rational mode back then.

When I complain here or there, I only complain about my personal shortcomings, when I plan to fix something in myself I only try to fix a shortcoming/fault in myself but I don't complain trying to 'fix' the world (and no, not all of them are dating-related). Maybe some people here mistake my self-criticizing as I am being jaded , harsh on myself and totally unhappy (like puddingmouse said once) but in fact I am just being constructive self-criticizer in order to find a way to improve myself.

I simply cannot be delusional about myself and pretend that everything is fine and satisfying in my life because it's not (again, not all of this is dating-related), I envy those who can, but I just cannot, so that's why I sound sometimes little harsh on myself.

And believe me, some insecurity is good and necessary for a faster self-improvement. I am not ashamed for having some insecurities, I am only little ashamed of some of my shortcomings and it's my insecurities that are making me realize those shortcomings.

Aspie men need tio tap in to their inner "meh'

no friends "meh'

family that don't give a $GT$ " " meh"

no GF "meh"


not much money "meh"

and so on and so forth.


It's not a bad way to be , you should try some time may be if my childhood had been a little kinder and had been correctly packaged (medicated) i would have been able to tap into my inner meh, more "meh' and no more lying do gooders "you can do if you put your mind to it" Please


I seriously don't get these 'successful" aspies whatever do they hope to achieve ? These things are important are they? well I'd list those reasons though I wont as it would be seen as an attack on these people and we no how precious these superior people can be .

That's Nice we have have many "successful' aspies around here though just don't go well no better not quote it as it's a "family friendly website|" |Paul Keating * it involves a dictionary. buckets and profanity, if your 1/2 the fan that I am (Worlds greatest treasure) you know it.


* sadly his downfall was his soft liberal left social policies with centre right economic policies (with the welfare state intact) went like a led balloon in "aspirational Australia" sadly politicians do to much to pander to these idiot and selfish demographic (North Brisbane Western Sydney) so much so that their will be no carbon price on petrol!

I know B9 is a fan ,any others ? may be aspies are more likely to be appreciative of this mans efforts? most of his detractors seem loud and uneducated.

I like your attitude I think theirs a saying out their forget how it goes

"cleaner takes the day off theirs chaos and everybody notices, CEO takes the day off no one care nor notices" or something like that keep on dusting Cockney

Still a dustmen ? I think I read some where your looking for another job ?

Apparently the aspie women here do it to, according to one member the men at the meet ups ether irritated her or aroused her self pity which sounds right on the money. One of the reasons I keep to myself if she where to meet me I'd do both!

Another member attacked me and she knows who she is simply for having an opinion she does not agree with.

Sure aspie women date ugly , poor and uneducated men .

Most men here would be far better served spending their time and money on special interests. Or have I got it all wrong ?

Yes and he goes on and tells Bart to "never try" oh wise one Homer

Having Aspergers is hard enough to cope with. Females have complex emotional needs and that means more problems for a male Aspie. Males are naturally less emotional/intuitive than females.

ZOMG I have Aspergers I do not need even more problems!

I seem to have lost an instinctual hunger to procreate. I think the problem for aspie men is we are not instinctually hungry for sex, with sort of kick starts the whole love chemical reaction thingy.

My NT male buddy friends were always looking for it

My "problem" is that I'm only looking for casual sex or a regular sex partner, not a girlfriend or marriage. At age 38, most women my age have teenage kids and are in their umphtieth relationship anyway...

hey Hale Bopp

Aint you always beating up on guys? starting threads about the short comings of men?

You have been on WP for many many years now? Got any fantastic advice for women too? Oh yes, you have lots to say....

I think the primary reason people beat on themselves is that they want more than they're getting in life, they're willing to do whatever they have to but they're running into their own absolute limits. Its a truly maddening situation to be in.

What I've noticed from personal experience; being good with words is helpful but body language means a lot. If you're nervous system is shorted out in a way and you seem distant or vague in your expressions, its a much bigger obstacle. Sadly in our case its often permanent, even if you can read people well and know what to say you'll get very different reactions based on how well they can read you or, sadly, how their instincts want to peg you based on how they read your presence.

not really. most humans have the same emotional needs. you personally might not have the needs to the same degree, but that doesn't mean all men don't have them, or that women's needs are more complex. you probably wouldn't notice that other men can have those needs as you are probably not interested in them in the same way.

Last edited by hyperlexian on 13 Jul 2011, 8:53 pm, edited 1 time in total.

after being single for so long I don't even care anymore....lol

Hmm. So I suppose there are some advantages to having AS that counter-out the "social dyslexia"?

I reckon if I didn't have the social dyslexia, I'd have a girlfriend (and one worth having, at that)... but then, if I didn't have Asperger's, my core "personality" probably wouldn't be as attractive as I'd be closer to the norm. So I suppose it is the social dyslexia aspect of AS that is holding me back rather than AS as a whole. Having said that, when I've tried to counter the lack of social skills and blended in more, my personality has become less attractive, so maybe even if I removed that one aspect, I'd be no more able to get a girlfriend.

I suppose what I want is to be able to do the social stuff easily without selling out as a person, which looks to be impossible. But hey, I'm much younger than many on here, so I have time.

I think you sound like you're on the right track with that perspective. I can understand people who want to retreat after being hurt and feel a need to push themselves towards what they view as self-improvement. Those are very natural, human reactions, but when those types of coping mechanisms are taken too far, it's just shooting yourself in the foot. And I don't just mean for guys, either. This definitely transcends gender lines.

Negative thinking can spiral and make it difficult, if not impossible, for the person who gets caught up in it to have a healthy relationship. It can take courage for someone to 'man-up' and tackle his/her weaknesses. But, for some it can actually take a lot more courage to accept who they are and that they're human. (And, accepting yourself isn't the same as giving up on yourself).

If you don't take that next step towards personal growth and stay stuck in the focus-on-the-negatives phase, you run a risk of becoming bitter to the point of being toxic to anyone who tries to enter your life and can wind up just pushing them away. Standing up to yourself for yourself is hard when you've gotten negative messages about who you are throughout life, but sometimes hard things are still worth trying for. I'm pretty down on myself sometimes and need to work on this, too, but I really think there's some truth to it.

I dont need to beat myself up. There is someone here at WP who tries to do it for me

Examples of creepy http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt138646.html