What is the main reason why guys have to do the approaching?

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Something I read once that I think is true, is that women don't approach men because they don't generally have to. I used to work at a restaurant, and one of the waitresses there used to get asked out at least twice a week while working (sure some of those guys were total creepers but most of them seemed pretty decent). And she was pretty average-looking, certainly no supermodel. If I had women coming up to me all the time, goodness knows I wouldn't go out of my way to "approach" any myself lol. Consequently, if all of a sudden men everywhere stopped approaching women, I'm sure they'd take up the initiative.

Ive been doing that for 9 months

There are a few reasons why it is traditionally the responsibility of the male to initiate a relationship in our society, and so the answer to your question can be rather complex, however I will try to address it in fairly simple terms.

In most species, it is the male who does the initiating, so there is likely a strong biological component, and one aspect of this component is likely testosterone. Testosterone is a hormone of ambition and self entitlement. While we generally view those as negative qualities, with respect to the survival of a species, such attributes have proven to have their usefulness. We all descend from winners. Organisms that could acquire a sufficient amount of resources to successfully propagate their genes and see to it that their offspring were also in the position to do so. In lesser animals, the male is usually responsible for the former. Acquiring enough resources to propagate their genes, and testosterone enabled him to do this.

In humans, testosterone serves much the same purpose. It bestows some human males with the tendency to be slightly more possessive, territorial, self entitled, and ambitious, and opportunistic than their female counterparts. This is not necessarily a bad thing. Humans are an expensive species that require a lot of resources. Human children are born completely helpless and it takes a number of years of dedicated care until they are able to care for themselves. It takes an average of 12.5 years for humans to reach sexual maturity and humans do not stop maturing until the late 20's. As such, in the settings in which we evolved, a man who possessed a fair degree of the qualities listed above, was a man who could usually better provide for his family.

But as such, the majority of human societies have been somewhat patriarchal. Women, more often than not, were simultaneously viewed as something to be possessed by men, and something to be protected from other men. A woman approaching a man was considered bad in most of these societies for multiple reasons. I will list two of the primary ones.

1. He might see her approach as a solicitation or opportunity for casual sex, and he might actively attempt to obtain that from her even if she resists.

2. If a woman gets pregnant by a man who will not, or cannot fulfill his responsibilities, she is in a very compromised position having to both provide for and raise a child on her own.

As such, most societies have developed a concept of honor and modesty for women, and in many societies, even western ones, it was tradition for the man to approach the woman's father first, at least with respect to asking for her hand in marriage.

While our society is a modern one, we've inherited remnants of our cultural and biological history. There are still a good number of men who are going to hope a woman approaching them out of the blue will provide him with responsibility free casual sex, and there are still a good number of women who worry, at least at a subconscious level, that if a man does not have the courage to approach them, he might not have the courage or ambition to pursue other valuable resources, or protect her either physically or socially.

As such, many woman do indeed harbor the belief that if he is interested in an actual relationship, he will approach her, while many men harbor the belief that if she approaches him, she's interested in casual sex.

Something I read once that I think is true, is that women don't approach men because they don't generally have to. I used to work at a restaurant, and one of the waitresses there used to get asked out at least twice a week while working (sure some of those guys were total creepers but most of them seemed pretty decent). And she was pretty average-looking, certainly no supermodel. If I had women coming up to me all the time, goodness knows I wouldn't go out of my way to "approach" any myself lol. Consequently, if all of a sudden men everywhere stopped approaching women, I'm sure they'd take up the initiative.

So maybe the single men of the world should make a boycotting-approaching movement, soon enough women would have to play the 'men' role in approaching.

Hmm....intriguing, how can we spread the word and put this into action?

WHO's WITH ME?

*ROAR*

Another reason why I made this shirt. It forces the woman to talk to me first, even if it's just to say "I like the shirt" or to ask what "BBW" stands for. LOL But it also gets people shooting pics of me or telling friends & relatives about it. (Plus it attracts attention on my profile)

To answer that question, read up on evolutionary psychology.

Specifically, Buss, D.M., "The Evolution Of Desire: Strategies Of Human Mating". Basic Books, 1995. - ISBN 978-0-465-02143-7 is a good start.

To oversimplify it, for >99.99% of our existence, we did not live as we do now. We roamed around in groups of 50-220 people, our family and friends, doing what we could to survive. In that situation, it is vital to be social or, people will die. Everyone needs to want to help everyone. So, there's a social fabric where things just worked out.

But, really, you're asking the wrong question here.

What you should be asking is this: I'm a man. Given that I have Asperger's, meaning I have no natural ability to "read" signs in the dating game, I give off screwy body language, and NT socialization is an issue, the dating game sucks. Why am I stuck with this burden when Aspie girls appear to be freed of it, not having to initiate anything?

And, the answer to that is: Girls do give off tons of signs, you just need to learn them. Once you learn them, you'll find out that girls initiate just as much as guys, they just do it in a very subtle way. Read up on body language, immediately. There are plenty of books out there.

yeah because i know i would not hesitate to approach girls more often if more of them smiled at me or looked at me from a distance, waved at me or just said a simple "Hi" from a distance, but i never get that

Another reason why I made this shirt. It forces the woman to talk to me first, even if it's just to say "I like the shirt" or to ask what "BBW" stands for. LOL But it also gets people shooting pics of me or telling friends & relatives about it. (Plus it attracts attention on my profile)