An OKCupid message that about reduced me to tears.

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I'm curious about this reply message the OP got. Was there a "Hi" at the beginning, a "sorry" or something else at the end, or was that the ENTIRE message? It's a bit blunt as it is, but nicely honest. Personally I'd have put something a bit friendlier at the beginning and end just because that's what you do in a conversation.

EDIT: Actually, as it doesn't look like you put the "hi" in yours either, it's totally fine I reckon. Though I suspect you simply didn't quote the entire message.

^^^ I should edit my message to say "relatively thoughtful" or something. I don't approve of the method but I can see their point... all too many people (men and women alike) blow off any suitors that don't get them super-excited. That said, I've had to say no to a few OKcupid posters who were really, really unattractive to me. That's my prerogative. Of course, that removed my right to whine about nobody messaging me. (You'll note I don't do that.)

^^^ I think I probably am way too harsh, because I'll ignore those messages even if otherwise the person seems great. I'll think Wow that's such a shame, why couldn't they just put some effort into their message, who knows what might have been?!. But the ctrl+v message style is a really really bad start with me, and goes nowhere no matter what.

So, I don't know if most or any women feel the same about that, but if a guy is playing "the numbers game" with hundreds of women, that's probably quite a few women he just blew his chance with by sending that ctrl+v message. A bit more time and effort and it might have turned out differently.

A comic was posted in a spin-off thread (that will probably get removed due to it's NSFW content) where an "average" looking guy sends a thoughtful message, with which the girl is unimpressed, then a "hot" guy sends a crude message and she's all over it (no pun intended). Well...the truth is she wouldn't have reacted positively to the "average" guy's crude message either. He has to send the thoughtful message, and hope the recipient is a like-minded person (and if not, meh, move on). IMO it's the best way to nab a decent woman.

In other words, the OP should just keep trying

Yellowtamarian highlights well the fundamental problem with online dating.

A man needs to message a lot of girls in order to get a reply. 50:1 is a good reply rate.

A woman expects each message to her to be well thought out and more than 1 or 2 lines.

Very tough situation to be in.

That's why I like Eharmony's guided communication. You don't actually write messages at first, you pick 3 questions to send and the person answers them.

I think that is a better way.

PM received, replied and reply received.

FYI for everyone: The removal of previous replies here had nothing to do with the topic itself. The OP posted regarding an interaction between two people. It isn't about OKCupid, nor is it about online safety. It's about rejection. Simple as that. This was not a matter of censorship. Members are free to create a new topic if they wish to discuss something other than the OP's topic.

Brian, you really need to learn to not take these people so seriously. I think before you pursue finding a GF you need to address how people upset you so easily, you might feel better - at least - after you've done that.

I used to be like that. I sort of still am, but I'm a lot better now. It helps.

Brian, you really need to learn to not take these people so seriously. I think before you pursue finding a GF you need to address how people upset you so easily, you might feel better - at least - after you've done that.

I used to be like that. I sort of still am, but I'm a lot better now. It helps.

Brain, send me the link of this girl's profile.

I have... something in mind lol.