all women I meet seem to be insensitive jerks

Post Reply New Topic

The world needs more people who aren't afraid to speak their mind. I think some people translate "nice guy" into a "yes man".

I am actually not a "yes man" because I have a tendency to disagree with people and say "no" a lot. I think calling them a "yes man" has to do with someone who is being overly nice to compensate for the fact that they are usually not nice. I think I try to be a jerk to compensate for the fact that I actually am too nice. I am a nice guy but I will not always agree with you so you do not think I am overly nice. Also I think in an NT world I feel I have to be a jerk sometimes to be more like them. So I can get along with them better but it does not work so well. Also it is a defense mechanism based around the fight or flight response. I generally am a jerk when I am trying to protect myself or if I feel threatened which was the case with this woman I tried to date. Also it happens if I do not trust someone. I have a tendency to not believe most of what people say since when I was younger I was more gullible and I learned to not trust people as a counter-balance. Unfortunately I have went the opposite way as I have gotten older. And people have many times done things to me that broke my trust. I have been deceived numerous times in my life.

Unfortunately this occurs when you are younger and are continually ridiculed and bullied. At least this is true for me. And that is only if you retaliated when someone did these things to you. And then some people learn how to control the lashing out behavior. Sadly I have been somewhat unsuccessful at curbing my lashing out. It is like a form of acting out which I have done since I was 7 years old. Also it is exacerbated by my ADD impulsive traits like attention seeking behavior.

Last edited by punkguy378 on 28 Jun 2013, 8:17 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I wouldn't equate being a jerk with being forthright, but I know the feeling. In "NT language" for lack of a better term, the acceptable method seems to be to circle disagreements indirectly, or to not voice them at all. It starts seeming like no one has their own mind.

Yes I generally take a more direct argument approach especially if I am in meltdown territory. I basically say all kinds things I cannot control because I become extremely impulsive. It is also gives you quite a "rush". I just wish I could keep from "blowing my top" when I get to this point. Sometimes I can though if I recognize the feelings and want to actually stop them.

I tend to get this way if people bring up anything about injustice or the government. I generally have a pretty "extremist" view on the government not having our best interest at heart. I think they are snakes and liars. Oh boy hear I go. No not really. lol.

Just recently I went on a rant about how military drones are wrong on facebook. No one really said anything to me about that comment. And I have a seething hatred for Obama. I just think he is wrong for this country. He comes from the whole chicago politics of "you better agree with me or I'll break your kneecaps" and he has too many socialist ideas for my taste.

No one likes rejection. You shouldn't take it out on the person rejecting you however. I know my feelings in the matter can be devastating. And acting wrongly on them makes me feel like s**t. I don't particularly like reminding myself of it either, one of those pesky anxiety things for me.

So just think about how you are feeling and how you're actions will effect others? And focus on things that are less painful. I need to talk with a psychiatrist about certain personality disorders.

You can always hook up randomly more than once with the same person and then progress to meeting for coffee and then activities. Then, bingo! You're in a real relationship. I've seen it happen, and I kind of did it once myself. This is actually the norm for the way relationships develop at some colleges. PUA doesn't have to be all bad. If it in any way involves rape or compromising a woman's free will, then you're a felon who deserves the death penalty. But you can hardly fault a man for sleeping with a woman who freely chose to sleep with him, whether you call it PUA or not.

And OP - you've learned a valuable lesson: you are no longer putting women on a pedestal, like many inexperienced men do. Women are people, not things. This not only means they should be treated with the respect of people; it means they also have horrific flaws--and are vulnerable to disgusting groupthink-- like everyone else.

I shouldn't do it but sometimes I do anyways. And sometimes I do not think about how my actions will affect others until after the fact. I get impulsive and I just do not care temporarily.

I know it is wrong. Which makes it all the harder to try and understand why I take things out on others. I guess that is what happens when growing up every one takes things out on you. You begin to think it is just standard behavior.

I am not always a nice guy and I do not always just agree with people. I honestly have too many "buttons" people can push and unfortunately I do not know all of them. That is a problem!

Sometimes I just lash-out at people because it is a normal response for me. I generally have to hold my tongue or even leave a person's presence just to keep myself from wanting to knock them out. Well not really I do not get physical with anyone especially women. Nothing wrong with thinking about it though. There is no crime against a thought.

People say I am on the defensive all the time. It seems this is my natural state many times. It is a defense mechanism I just need to learn how to only use it when I actually am being threatened. I mean the problem is when your perceived threat threshold is too low. I perceive threats where there really are not any.

Many times in the world I might as well be walking in the jungle. Danger at every turn. You got to protect yourself. At least I feel it is a world where trust is not an easy thing.

Honestly I know I need to work on all these things. I felt hurt and betrayed and I do not act in the right manner in those situations. I am just tired of people on here getting all over me. I am learning here. It seems many people are too harsh and need to tone it down with more understanding. Instead of trying to correct me. No one likes it when people are constantly being corrected.

I guess I am just being blunt as well with my posts. I am just completely unfiltered and sometimes I say some pretty horrible things. Sometimes I feel I take things out on people and it feels good in some sick way. This is actually an NT thought pattern (I think) and I am so close to NT sometimes I wonder if I have AS. Then I get a weird obsession and then I see that I do have it in some way or I take something literally. Honestly the high end aspergers appear almost normal and many people have no idea they are AS. I am one of those people.

Yeah I think my behavior can be downright disgusting. I am not proud of it. It is hard to look at someone as a person when they are so disgusting. I look at myself like an object sometimes that people tend to try and move around on a chess board and I am not budging. Constantly in defiance of those who would try to change me. I have to change myself no one else can convince me I have to convince myself.

I know how that feels. I too have dated a girl who was like that. She even would take advantage of me and even say mean things to me. I'm bi honestly, and I can seriously relate to how you feel. But you know, I'm sure that your situation could be worse. At least you didn't date a guy who was younger than you and he left you at his house to take a walk with his best friend after school. Yeah, it's pretty bad, I mean, what kind of a person does that? Who leaves his girlfriend at his house just to take a walk with his friend? Heck, he would even hang out with another girl who was a grade below ours and it was quite evident, he'd walk past me with her and he'd know I could see. I am sure it was to make me feel jealous and all, but that is not how things work with me. When I am in a relationship, I do not want to feel as though I am being neglected and I don't want to feel as though I have to be jealous just so my boyfriend can get my attention. I am so glad I broke up with him last year, because he just wasn't worth it at all.
Anyway, no need to worry, because there most certainly are women who are sensitive and caring. And I am very sorry that you experienced all that with those women who don't deserve you. I know you'll find love someday, just trust me on that.

Okay. I'm not saying it's all bad. I just think the chances of it leading to a long term relationship are slim. If everyone involved accepts that and there are no hard feelings its not a problem. Different people want different things.