Guys only want one thing

Post Reply New Topic

Yeah that one escapes me too. Women should be raping, maybe? I dunno and since it was an impassioned post I don't expect any clarification.

So you are encouraging women to rape men? what the hell is wrong with people?

I'm going with namaste thinks rapists should be raped. Give her the benefit of the doubt.

I'm sorry, but that's a rather ignorant statement considering that, at least according to the number of reported offenses, the US is the rape capital of the entire world by far. While it is very likely that sexual assault is even more underreported in India than in the US — or the UK, which also has a shockingly high number of rape cases for a first world nation — a difference of 1.8 reported cases in India versus 27.3 in the US per year and 100k capita is not easily explained away with a different culture and women's rights situation.

It is widely known that US prisons are downright rape farms, which doesn't even show up in the above-cited 2010 statistics. So are American high schools and colleges according to surveys. And of course the US military, which has an abysmal record on sexual assault and the hushing up thereof. Victims who dare speak up are simply diagnosed as mentally ill, dismissed from service and robbed of their benefits. And all this gets little to no media attention. If we only look at high profile cases that receive international attention — which is probably what you're basing your judgement of the situation in India on — one gets the impression that all American women are at risk of being abducted in broad daylight and held captive for decades.

Bottom line: I highly doubt that the US is a safer place for women than India. Especially not for minority women, who are also at risk of being abused by the police or shot by paranoid home owners and overeager neighborhood watchmen for no good reason.

I'm not a guy, I'm a girl, and I don't pretend to know all men, but I can tell you what other men, who I have dated, or interacted with, have personally confessed to me.

I once dated a guy, who would lie, all the time. I didn't realise it at first, as I wasn't very good at spotting liers at the time, and was new to dating. I learned fast that his whole life was a lie, and that he only did it to get what he wanted from women. He actually did want relationships with women though, yet he was not interested in being faithful. After I ended it with him, he continuously approached me to take him back, despite his bad behaviour.

So far I've fallen in to he trap of dating two guys like this, though the second one was much better at lying, as he even fooled his own friends and family. He was worse though, as he spoke of us marrying, and living 'happily ever after ', yet later would argue that that was never his intention, and that I was foolish for thinking so. The second guy was also unreasonable in the sense that he wanted things his way all the time, and anything I wanted was unreasonable, even if he wanted the same thing for himself. I confronted him about this, and asked him why he lied. He told me all he thinks about is sleeping with women, and not just one woman; all women. He told me it plagued him, and that most woman will only allow him to sleep with him if he lies, and so he does.

I once dated a guy, who started off as a friend. I wasn't interested in a relationship at first, it was something that just happened, as I was going through a rough patch, and he was pretty much there for me in a time of need. It was fun for a while, but in the end, he told me he wanted to end it, as he wanted to sleep with other women, and didn't think it'd be fair on me for him to cheat in me, we're still friends, but I don't feel I could ever allow him another chance at anything else again after that.

One guy, who I didn't date, told me he was interested in me, but only sexually. He said he had a problem where he would obsess over a girl, and hound her for sex til she caved. Once she would, he'd have his way, then loose all interest in her, and move on to the next. I don't think all men do this, and think he actually had a problem, as he seemed to be reaching out a bit when telling me this. In the end I had to insist he leave me alone though, as he would often stalk me, and even attempted to con me in to sleeping with him. The way he attempted this, was by coming over one night to my house, and telling me that he was looking for my sister (who he was friends with at the time). Their whole group of friends had gone out clubbing, and he had so how 'lost' the others, and for some reason decided to come to my house. His excuse was that he had been drinking, and couldn't drive, and that my sister said he could crash at our place, as we lived close to the valley clubs. This was not uncommon for my sister to do, as she was clubbing often with friends at the time, so I allowed him in to the house to wait for her, but she arrived moments later, and told me he was with heir group of friends, then disappeared randomly, and ended up at our house...it suddenly became clear that he had intentionally left the group, hoping for me to cave...or perhaps worse.

There are a few more I could tell, but I'll leave it there. I've learned how to better understand men, and myself, when it comes to relationships, and so hope not to repeat my mistakes again, but I hope my experiences can bring some insight in to how some men may behave. I do believe that there are good men out there though, as I have seen several strong relationships, of which I am envious of. I simply believe my poor experiences have been due to being unable to 'sense' bad intentions from a few bad men.

Uh, no, not really. In India, women and children have an extremely low station in society, and are viewed more as property than people. Women can't even go out on the street without, at minimum, being groped by a stranger.

That's not to say there aren't many places in America where nobody should ever consider going if they value their safety. But India has a deeply ingrained system that elevates some people to godlike status and labels everyone else as disposable. And in a country as densely populated as India, that's a LOT of people.

You're certainly not alone in this, I think it's probably at the core of why aspies can find themselves stuck in some really bad relationships, and sometimes oblivious to how bad it really is until someone from outside helps us understand what is actually occurring (lies, manipulation, etc.)

Yes, I've had some good guys listen to my stories, and explain the situation to me, which has helped.

I've also ironically received help from one of the guys who did bad on to me. I think the fact that I didn't shy from it, and actually asked him why he was doing it all, must have surprised him so much, that he was put on the spot, and actually felt guilty enough to admit his faults, and why he did it. I think he was hoping I would simply run away if he treated me badly enough, without questioning him. He even admitted that when he wants to end relationships, rather than being a man, and ending it, he simply treats the woman horribly, and expects her to end it, which is how his past relationships had ended.

He was a coward, but I'm glad he could at least admit it. I guess the Aspie in me makes me curious by nature, and couldn't leave the relationship, before first trying to understand why it had failed.

Btw, I later learned that the woman he left me for, he had dumped, but when he tried to get back with her again, he had learned she was going out with someone who looked exactly like him, which apparently caused him to have a tantrum. Apparently he sulked about it for some time. Some how this made me feel better about the whole thing.

Those times when you think karma might be real.

Have you been to India? Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to downplay a very serious problem, nor am I saying that India is as advanced in terms of gender equality as a Western country. I'm merely doubting that Indian women are more likely to be sexually assaulted than women in the US, where sexual violence is a much bigger problem than most people seem to or want to realize.

As is socio-economic inequality btw. Your comment about India's caste system reminds me of a country where pop stars and actors are celebrated like demigods and the wealthiest 1% are waited on hand and foot by minimum wage slaves like emperors of the antiquity, while people without any kind of future perspective freeze to death at street corners, completely ignored by passers-by.

men are sex crazy
pronography adds to the woes
and easy availability of sex and dates add more to the woe

What if, it is one thing in phase of one things. So the next phase would require another "one thing"?

I'm not sex-crazy, and I have never started talking to anyone just to get in her pants. I like girls that are smart and silly, and I'd rather spend a weekend going somewhere interesting with someone I love than picking up girls and doing it wildly for the same amount of time. I don't agree with the question this topic poses.

Well, it's refreshing to hear that.

Out of curiosity, may I ask you how many relationships have you had, and how long have they lasted?

Currently going for nearly two years, not counting anything during high school or before that.

Nice

Congrats, I'm happy for you two.