25 Oct 2014, 1:36 pm
goldfish21
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25 Oct 2014, 3:59 pm
Jjancee wrote:
Mitrovah wrote:
goldfish21 wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
You'll gonna die alone, probably from ego explosion.
I don't see it that way.
The healthier, wealthier, more educated & experienced I become myself the higher the bar is raised in terms of who I might consider dating or spending my life with. As it should be, IMO, if you have self respect/love enough to realize what you want & deserve in a partner. It's not arrogance.. it's being selective and for good reason.
I agree and I don't fault women for being choosey based on economic stability. Who wants to spend their time with someone who is broke and a mental basket case? Not me.
The original question was "is a career necessary to have a relationship?". The answer (for grownups) is obviously "yes". You don't need to be a millionaire, you do not need to be a millionaire or have a super-glam job but you do need to be in a position to have a life!
I disagree. For example, there are plenty of people on welfare who are in relationships with other people on welfare. I think a better answer is that people need to be at a similar socioeconomic status as one another. Or at least at x level if they want to date someone above them vs. the highly improbable scenario that someone who is unemployed, or unemployable, is going to have a relationship with someone with an established career that pays them decently. Jobs/careers help big time, but they're not necessarily required for people to have relationships.
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for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.25 Oct 2014, 4:26 pm
goldfish21
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25 Oct 2014, 5:12 pm
Jjancee wrote:
goldfish21 wrote:
Jjancee wrote:
Mitrovah wrote:
goldfish21 wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
You'll gonna die alone, probably from ego explosion.
I don't see it that way.
The healthier, wealthier, more educated & experienced I become myself the higher the bar is raised in terms of who I might consider dating or spending my life with. As it should be, IMO, if you have self respect/love enough to realize what you want & deserve in a partner. It's not arrogance.. it's being selective and for good reason.
I agree and I don't fault women for being choosey based on economic stability. Who wants to spend their time with someone who is broke and a mental basket case? Not me.
The original question was "is a career necessary to have a relationship?". The answer (for grownups) is obviously "yes". You don't need to be a millionaire, you do not need to be a millionaire or have a super-glam job but you do need to be in a position to have a life!
I disagree. For example, there are plenty of people on welfare who are in relationships with other people on welfare. I think a better answer is that people need to be at a similar socioeconomic status as one another. Or at least at x level if they want to date someone above them vs. the highly improbable scenario that someone who is unemployed, or unemployable, is going to have a relationship with someone with an established career that pays them decently. Jobs/careers help big time, but they're not necessarily required for people to have relationships.
Have you ever dated anybody on social assistance? Or unemployable?! I haven't (and, honestly, wouldn't). I have (and would again) date a guy who was unemployed, provided he was actively looking for work.
No, but I've never really truly dated. I've only had a sex life and some FWB's.
When I was unemployed/unemployable myself, I wouldn't have even considered dating anyone at all so as not to burden them with my bs. Now that I am employed and doing ok, I wouldn't consider dating someone who didn't have their s**t together.
But my point was that there are plenty of people who don't have their s**t together who are in relationships? with each other! They're at similar socioeconomic statuses and thus compatible with one another. Just because they don't have careers doesn't mean that they can't have a relationship - it's just unlikely that they will have a relationship with someone who has their career and life in order.
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for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.The_Face_of_Boo
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25 Oct 2014, 5:22 pm
25 Oct 2014, 8:03 pm
25 Oct 2014, 10:02 pm
Sweetleaf
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26 Oct 2014, 12:00 am
Sweetleaf
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26 Oct 2014, 12:02 am
26 Oct 2014, 12:11 am
Sweetleaf wrote:
sly279 wrote:
goldfish21 wrote:
I disagree. For example, there are plenty of people on welfare who are in relationships with other people on welfare. I think a better answer is that people need to be at a similar socioeconomic status as one another. Or at least at x level if they want to date someone above them vs. the highly improbable scenario that someone who is unemployed, or unemployable, is going to have a relationship with someone with an established career that pays them decently. Jobs/careers help big time, but they're not necessarily required for people to have relationships.
how did they meet. there isn't a SSI dating site. i've looked.
They should make one...at least I'd find it useful.
don't google SSI dating. came up with posts about how horrible we are and shouldn't be dated.
also stuff about dates and ssi lol
I think I'd find it useful too, but trolls would use it to attack us and it'd likely have to be a paid site do to low traffic. theres only 8 million people on ssi. various ages. I suspect me you and another might be the only ones our age and single on this half of the nation. wanna date
I highly doubt there is a woman my age who's single and also on ssi/ssdi. who lives in my city none the less my state.
still it'd be a nice site if done securely and right.
26 Oct 2014, 4:54 am
RetroGamer87
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26 Oct 2014, 9:14 am
RetroGamer87
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26 Oct 2014, 9:28 am
Who_Am_I wrote:
Jjancee wrote:
Mitrovah wrote:
goldfish21 wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
You'll gonna die alone, probably from ego explosion.
I don't see it that way.
The healthier, wealthier, more educated & experienced I become myself the higher the bar is raised in terms of who I might consider dating or spending my life with. As it should be, IMO, if you have self respect/love enough to realize what you want & deserve in a partner. It's not arrogance.. it's being selective and for good reason.
I agree and I don't fault women for being choosey based on economic stability. Who wants to spend their time with someone who is broke and a mental basket case? Not me.
The original question was "is a career necessary to have a relationship?". The answer (for grownups) is obviously "yes". You don't need to be a millionaire, you do not need to be a millionaire or have a super-glam job but you do need to be in a position to have a life!
What's wrong with just a job rather than a full-blown career? Jobs also pay money.
Yep, in a lot of ways career is more about status than income. I know professionals (programers, etc) who don't make that much and tradies who make a fortune.
I mean, all this stuff about wanting a man who "supports himself". OK, hypothetical scenario, what about a man with a full time working class job who supports himself? I know a factory worker who supports himself and his wife in a reasonable degree of comfort so is that so bad?
Or to make another hypothetical scenario, this time using myself as the example, a guy living independently, unemployed but getting paid $2,300 a month on welfare (yes I know it's bad that I'm living on welfaire, I plan to get a job then a career (and I got got a job interview for next week
)).
Anyway, the point is, with my relatively low rent ($740 per month) I have enough money to cover rent and living costs. I know that may not be a huge some of money for some (at least it's not taxable income) but my point is, are either of those two scenarios good enough for some woman, somewhere?
(actually my rent and pension are both paid by the fortnight, when converting to months should I do it by the 4 week period or by an actual 30.4 day month?)
RetroGamer87
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26 Oct 2014, 9:42 am
goldfish21
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26 Oct 2014, 11:33 am
RetroGamer87 wrote:
Jjancee wrote:
Many of the guys I've dates have earned less than me, which doesn't bother me in the least. I'm guessing that here in Houston, earning $40-45k would be adequate to meet the "earn enough to be a grownup" as I've chosen to define it.
Jjancee wrote:
The original question was "is a career necessary to have a relationship?". The answer (for grownups) is obviously "yes". You don't need to be a millionaire, you do not need to be a millionaire or have a super-glam job but you do need to be in a position to have a life!
Just as I suspected! It's about status, not money.
Thank you Jjancee, your honest answer proved invaluable in my research. I think I've reached a breakthrough. I need a good job title more than I need a lot of money.
IMO you need confidence & competent social skills first and foremost in order to acquire any of the above. Work on yourself first, and then the rest starts to fall into place. That's been my experience, anyways.
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for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.Sweetleaf
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26 Oct 2014, 11:40 am
sly279 wrote:
don't google SSI dating. came up with posts about how horrible we are and shouldn't be dated.
also stuff about dates and ssi lol
I think I'd find it useful too, but trolls would use it to attack us and it'd likely have to be a paid site do to low traffic. theres only 8 million people on ssi. various ages. I suspect me you and another might be the only ones our age and single on this half of the nation. wanna date
I highly doubt there is a woman my age who's single and also on ssi/ssdi. who lives in my city none the less my state.
still it'd be a nice site if done securely and right.
Oh I have seen plenty of that stigma crap so it wouldn't be anything new to me but yeah a site like that probably would get a lot of trolling unfortunately. But yeah you never know is it a largish city? because I'd be very surprised if there are no younger females on SSI...now finding them might be difficult especially IRL because you never know what someone does or how they get income until the discussion comes up.
Then again also doubting I am going to find any guys my age on SSI around here and unlikely I'll be leaving Denver anytime soon.....but maybe there are some with part time jobs, or still living at home and what not that wouldn't care about me being on SSI can't help thinking this last guy I hooked up with partially had that as his reason for not wanting to actually have anything ongoing after the first few times.
