Loneliness

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I don't think I'd want to be a Jedi since they can't get married and a bunch of other things that I can't remember. So it's a war between romance and being able to do acrobatics and ninja stuff with a saber of light. That sounded cooler in my head...

that's why there are times I wish I had an emotion-chip like Data from Star Trek the Next Generation

I see where Drawyer is coming from. It reaches a point where I freak my friends out a bit with delayed emotions but it's worthwhile to keep things peaceful among everyone I know, insofar as I can at least. If I'm honest I don't need the absolute least social interaction of anyone I know but I'm pretty solitary nonetheless. Since other people have to understand our situations on their terms we might as well use that time to do the same. I think it's better to observe & follow natural patterns than to construct too many routines.

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"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

Why not all of the above? I write and enjoy sci-fi/fantasy, but I also read it and think there were a lot of authors brilliant for more than the escapism and fun their writing can provide. Before Star Trek, there was Asimov, Stapledon, and Lem.

I've been having problems deciding things about my books lately. It just seems so wrong to sell my favourite form of escapism for money, but I also want to see if other people are interested in what I have to say. When my mum read the first chapter of Book I a couple days ago, even though she just offered a couple suggestions to me, I felt like I had been criticized. It's almost like I'm taking one of the most important parts of me and flinging it to the wolves. It's a vicious cycle and I don't really know what to do.

The weird part is that I don't really care anymore about the flaws of my books, but I do care about criticism even though I try not to care. Unfortunately, all of my books are hand-written, and I just keep procrastinating about typing them out...

Yeah like feyokein said if you had some stuff typed up I'm sure more than a few people would be interested in reading, I know I am. The link to my stuff's already been posted on this site.

Don't really care about the flaws? What do you mean?

No offense but when a book does get to that publishing stage it does have to be well-written.

Or, do you mean, when writing first drafts, you ignore most errors and put creativity and ideas as your priority, but still feel very affected by any sort of criticism, even constructive?

I'm different in I actually do spend a bit of time focusing on both my writing and ideas, trying to take a slow and patient process to write a draft that really balances quality and ideas. And due to my friend who is an amazing writer and published author (a children's book), she has given me constructive criticism on my work and helped me develop a bit of a resistance to it, instead of always feeling hurt by every little comment.

Maybe we just have different goals. I would be interested in publishing online and want monetary compensation for the effort I put into my writing.

I mean that I'm tired of thinking about all of the flaws because then I think that my books aren't good. What you said about writing first drafts is basically me. I just write when I feel inspired and even though I plan things out those plans change and then I get stuck in a whole bunch of plot holes and tangled plot threads.

I've been working on typing out my first book, and so far that's going well.

I've only been here for about a month as well. My book endeavor is going slowly but steadily! Yay me.

Hmm, gooing to be honest and say I feel this thread's not...'dying' in a sense, but a bit slower as conversation topics have decreased.

I remember the original post from you was how we revert to escapism to ignore out feelings of loneliness.

I guess I would ask the question, after a month, does this concept still hold true in your life?

For me in the past month I've changed in that I'm not extremely lonely or isolated feeling anymore but I do still feel it. I've learned to value solitude a bit more, plus I think about the future a lot and I am hopeful about future opportunities to meet people and future friendships, but at the same time I wish I had more. More of a social life than what I already have now.

As an ambitious person I've always refused to just sit down and 'settle for contentness' and I refuse to accept that I have, though I am closer and have more or less accepted my lonliness (though I hate to admit it) as I still am goal-setting and always aiming to meet people and do new things. I've started at a youth group to possibly meet new people or just have a fun time, but due to being a 12 grader we finish 11th Dec - 8 sessions overall.

Thing is I've increased my standards for friendships/relationships once again to the point that only a very, very small select few would ever get far with me because I realized I really don't have interest in most people and whatever trivial topics they enjoy talking about. I require something more, non-conformists and deep conversationalists. I did make a new good friend recently though, a girl who used to go to my school who I went back into contact with.

So, am I happy? No, definitetly not. But...satisfied, to an extent yes.

Anyway that's my side of things, what about you? Has muched changed the past month?

Well...I've met so many new people on this thread, so I'm fine in the friend department, which is such a wonderful thing for me.