Good to see you here, marshall.
I've seen your past posts on confidence and always found what you say on confidence and such very insightful and intelligent.
I agree confidence does not actually equal social skills.
I've always just seen confidence as 'believing in yourself' - knowing you are capable.
But believing in yourself does not equate to actual skill in something.
Wikipedia sums it up better than I ever could, important parts bolded
Quote:
Self-confidence does not necessarily imply "self-belief" or a belief in one's ability to succeed. For instance, one may be inept at a particular sport or activity, but remain "confident" in one's demeanor, simply because one does not place a great deal of emphasis on the outcome of the activity. When one does not dwell on negative consequences one can be more "self-confident" because one is worrying far less about failure or the disapproval of others following potential failure. One is then more likely to focus on the actual situation which means that enjoyment and success in that situation is also more probable. Belief in one's abilities to perform an activity comes through successful experience and may add to, or consolidate, a general sense of self-confidence
Also relevant and intriguing. Additions in [brackets]
Quote:
Implicit [self-confidence] can be defined as something that is implied or understood though not directly expressed. Explicit is defined as something that is fully and clearly expressed; leaving nothing implied.[4] Implicitly measured self-esteem has been found to be weakly correlated with explicitly measured self-esteem. This leads some critics to assume that explicit and implicit self-confidence are two completely different types of self-esteem. Therefore, this has drawn the conclusion that one will either have a distinct, unconscious self-esteem OR they will consciously misrepresent how they feel about themselves. Recent studies have shown that implicit self-esteem doesn't particularly tap into the unconscious, rather that people consciously overreport their levels of self-esteem. Another possibility is that implicit measurement may be assessing a different aspect of conscious self-esteem altogether.[5] Inaccurate self-evaluation is commonly observed in healthy populations. In the extreme, large differences between oneʼs self-perception and oneʼs actual behavior is a hallmark of a number of disorders that have important implications for understanding treatment seeking and compliance.[6]
So, if I approach women yet am
satisfied with the fact I mumble when I speak, don't make enough eye contact, and have stiff/closed-off body language, thus feeling more confident because I don't care if I fail, whether or not I enjoyed the conversation doesn't matter - it won't be seen as 'confident', even if I was believing in myself and believed that these things did not matter.
Ignorance is bliss.
Think of how many Aspies and Autistics may not be aware of their behavior (not making eye contact, stiff body language, odd speaking pattern, fidgety, etc.) and yet they still are capable of speaking to anyone without having regard for how they are coming across and how the other person is receiving their behavior.
Technically, if you believe in yourself, then this still is 'confidence'.
This phenomenon is actually common in people with Asperger's, and tends to be called 'active but odd'.
Quote:
People with AS may not be as withdrawn around others, compared with those with other, more debilitating forms of autism; they approach others, even if awkwardly. For example, a person with AS may engage in a one-sided, long-winded speech about a favorite topic, while misunderstanding or not recognizing the listener's feelings or reactions, such as a wish to change the topic of talk or end the interaction.[17] This social awkwardness has been called "active but odd".[3] This failure to react appropriately to social interaction may appear as disregard for other people's feelings, and may come across as insensitive.
Social skills are still a skill and despite believing in yourself and knowing you are capable, one still has to use skill and tact in their interactions.
In short, confidence is a complicated subject, and Aspies only make it even more complicated and difficult to define.https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Confidencehttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Self-confidencehttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asperger_ ... nteraction
14 Aug 2016, 5:16 pm
