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To be chased is by far more powerful.

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The_Face_of_Boo
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19 Sep 2016, 5:54 pm

Honestly, I am no longer willing to comprise my pride for anyone whoever she is.

If let's say a girl I like reads my fb message (with a regular question ie how are youbeen) and never replies ==> I go to her page, unfriend, bye bye, I move on.

If let's say a girl I like never says hi to me unless I say hi first ==> forget, bye bye. Moving on.

If a girl I like only says hi when she runs into me face-to-face at some door or narrow passage but NEVER crosses a part of the room we both happen to be to say hi to me ==> forget, bye bye.

A girl who NEVER initiates texting/messages even if she replies every time, and even if I went few dates with her, or even if I got sick for few days ==> forget, bye bye.

In short, if one never initiates or at least partially chases me ==> bye bye.



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19 Sep 2016, 5:59 pm

Bridgette77 wrote:
My problem with this new concept of the woman being the chaser is, all through growing up, It was almost literally pounded into my head by my mother, that women don't chase men. She never understood how hard dating was for anyone with disabilities. She always said it makes women look desperate, needy, and slu*ty, when they chase men. For years I heard the same thing over and over, "If a man really likes you, he will ask you out.", and even as of recently, when I first became interested in Brent, she kept telling me the same thing, even though I tried explaining to her that circumstances with him were different. So, for me to chase, is scary, and it makes me sick to my stomach. This time though, It made me sicker not to pursue him. LOL.


I think sometimes people forget to take that into consideration, that is what a lot of females have been told and seems kind of like a weird unspoken message. Though it isn't really my reason for not really asking guys out..I just cant approach people I don't know in general including guys I might have liked I imagine it is to do with my autism. But I certainly recognize the effect having a particular message pounded into your head since you're a young adolecent can have.


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19 Sep 2016, 6:02 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
It's the obsession. I don't like people obsessed with me. It bothers me.

I am unequivocally attracted to women.


The main thing I'd find bothersome about that is being obsessed with someone isn't the same as actually caring about them or loving them for that matter.


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The_Face_of_Boo
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19 Sep 2016, 6:09 pm

Jacoby wrote:
I don't know if powerful is the word I would use, advantageous from the standpoint of knowing that the person is interested in you and I imagine it is nice to get validation on some level relative to nothing at all both of which would help with confidence and self esteem. To be chased is to have the power to reject.



But that's exactly why I describe it as powerful.

Not only you get the power to reject, but also - if you are evil - you get the power to manipulate them or even the power to mope the floor with them by crushing their self esteem. And if your admirer is too in love with you, she/he might be too blind to see this coming or even to realize what's happening before it's too late.

Literally, if they're too obsessed with you, you would have the power, with one or few words, to either make their day one of the happiest days in their life and make them fly - or to make it one of the saddest days and throw them into the abyss of despair.

And you call this not powerful?


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This thread is basically about male and female gender roles as to initiating relations, the reality is the norm is that the man chases & the woman is chased and this is something true in both an evolutionary and cultural sense. Now I don't think it really is the same so much if by some weird anomaly the woman approaches, I still think gender roles play the most dominant factor in the power dynamic(which changes over time) as opposed to it simply being who chased who.


Men, should unite, and make a world united oath: never to pursue any woman again. Let them come to us. :twisted:



Bridgette77
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19 Sep 2016, 6:28 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:
Bridgette77 wrote:
My problem with this new concept of the woman being the chaser is, all through growing up, It was almost literally pounded into my head by my mother, that women don't chase men. She never understood how hard dating was for anyone with disabilities. She always said it makes women look desperate, needy, and slu*ty, when they chase men. For years I heard the same thing over and over, "If a man really likes you, he will ask you out.", and even as of recently, when I first became interested in Brent, she kept telling me the same thing, even though I tried explaining to her that circumstances with him were different. So, for me to chase, is scary, and it makes me sick to my stomach. This time though, It made me sicker not to pursue him. LOL.


I think sometimes people forget to take that into consideration, that is what a lot of females have been told and seems kind of like a weird unspoken message. Though it isn't really my reason for not really asking guys out..I just cant approach people I don't know in general including guys I might have liked I imagine it is to do with my autism. But I certainly recognize the effect having a particular message pounded into your head since you're a young adolecent can have.



I can't approach men either, unless someone takes me to them, which is essentially what had to happen this last time. It is awkward to have one of your friends drag you to the person that you are trying to ask out. talk about third wheel. LOL. It is uncomfortable to say the least, and normally, there's no one to do this. Otherwise, they have to approach me, because I can't find them, to do so, so in some ways, I sort of get it...



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20 Sep 2016, 1:30 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Jacoby wrote:
I don't know if powerful is the word I would use, advantageous from the standpoint of knowing that the person is interested in you and I imagine it is nice to get validation on some level relative to nothing at all both of which would help with confidence and self esteem. To be chased is to have the power to reject.



But that's exactly why I describe it as powerful.

Not only you get the power to reject, but also - if you are evil - you get the power to manipulate them or even the power to mope the floor with them by crushing their self esteem. And if your admirer is too in love with you, she/he might be too blind to see this coming or even to realize what's happening before it's too late.

Literally, if they're too obsessed with you, you would have the power, with one or few words, to either make their day one of the happiest days in their life and make them fly - or to make it one of the saddest days and throw them into the abyss of despair.

And you call this not powerful?


Quote:
This thread is basically about male and female gender roles as to initiating relations, the reality is the norm is that the man chases & the woman is chased and this is something true in both an evolutionary and cultural sense. Now I don't think it really is the same so much if by some weird anomaly the woman approaches, I still think gender roles play the most dominant factor in the power dynamic(which changes over time) as opposed to it simply being who chased who.


Men, should unite, and make a world united oath: never to pursue any woman again. Let them come to us. :twisted:


Are you used to having people obsessed with you?



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20 Sep 2016, 1:59 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Men, should unite, and make a world united oath: never to pursue any woman again. Let them come to us. :twisted:

as convenient as it seems on paper, when i try to picture that alternate reality, it doesn't seem convenient at all to me. i like to make my own timing, and i like to take the initiative when it comes to anything i want. the thought of having to rely on anyone's actions for something i want makes me uneasy. i don't have that kind of faith or patience. i'll either do something about it myself or i'll stop wanting it (or at least do what i can to move on to something else, if it's compulsive)


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The_Face_of_Boo
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20 Sep 2016, 2:01 am

Sabreclaw wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Jacoby wrote:
I don't know if powerful is the word I would use, advantageous from the standpoint of knowing that the person is interested in you and I imagine it is nice to get validation on some level relative to nothing at all both of which would help with confidence and self esteem. To be chased is to have the power to reject.



But that's exactly why I describe it as powerful.

Not only you get the power to reject, but also - if you are evil - you get the power to manipulate them or even the power to mope the floor with them by crushing their self esteem. And if your admirer is too in love with you, she/he might be too blind to see this coming or even to realize what's happening before it's too late.

Literally, if they're too obsessed with you, you would have the power, with one or few words, to either make their day one of the happiest days in their life and make them fly - or to make it one of the saddest days and throw them into the abyss of despair.

And you call this not powerful?


Quote:
This thread is basically about male and female gender roles as to initiating relations, the reality is the norm is that the man chases & the woman is chased and this is something true in both an evolutionary and cultural sense. Now I don't think it really is the same so much if by some weird anomaly the woman approaches, I still think gender roles play the most dominant factor in the power dynamic(which changes over time) as opposed to it simply being who chased who.


Men, should unite, and make a world united oath: never to pursue any woman again. Let them come to us. :twisted:


Are you used to having people obsessed with you?


About few instances, to varying degrees, there's a clear pattern of specific demographics though who do that (Asians, Maghrebians , or local reserved/veiled Muslims).



marshall
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20 Sep 2016, 3:19 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
It's the obsession. I don't like people obsessed with me. It bothers me.

I am unequivocally attracted to women.

I should have worded that differently. Assume you were not only physically attracted to them, but also emotionally and you felt they were the perfect person for you (in all other ways). Would it still bother you that they were obsessed with you?

The only reason it would bother me that a girl was obsessed with me was the possibility in the back of my mind that she might not be compatible for some reason. It's not easy to reject someone who's obsessed with you because you know you'll upset them intensely.



The_Face_of_Boo
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20 Sep 2016, 4:50 am

Regarding your delete/unfriend/block comment, anyone has the right to cut contact with whoever one wants.

This isn't really evil.



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20 Sep 2016, 4:57 am

Ugh, moderators ruin all the fun. This thread was starting to get interesting, now it's back to being bland again.



The_Face_of_Boo
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20 Sep 2016, 6:10 am

Sabreclaw wrote:
Ugh, moderators ruin all the fun. This thread was starting to get interesting, now it's back to being bland again.


He/she will back, probably under a different username - it seems I have a new "fan" now :lol:.



kraftiekortie
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20 Sep 2016, 8:28 am

Marshall: I still wouldn't want the person to be obsessed with me. This concept is rather scary to me.

It implies, in a way, that "if I can't have you, nobody can."

This phrase is a frequently used when somebody commits a violent act in the name of obsession.



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20 Sep 2016, 2:35 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
and like the Italian guy said

Who? I can't see any.



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20 Sep 2016, 3:00 pm

Peacesells wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
and like the Italian guy said

Who? I can't see any.

he was talking about me. i'm legally italian. i don't live in italy and i'm not fully fluent in italian though. either way, to be honest i don't see why he brought up my nationality like that. it seemed pretty out of context to me. (if he meant the guy on my avatar, then he was mistaken. it's a character from a finnish movie)


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Last edited by anagram on 20 Sep 2016, 3:05 pm, edited 1 time in total.

The_Face_of_Boo
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20 Sep 2016, 3:05 pm

I forgot your username while typing the post and was too lazy to go one page back. :oops: