Why you can't get a date

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If women are as bad as that, then you're better of single. Why lose weight for a girl who won't do the same? You're better of single.

If you're single you can eat as much as you like and you don't have to spend your time in the gym.

Why give up food and free time for an overweight woman who thinks she's better than you?

Its confusing.

Some say be yourself, live your life the way you want to and be confident and that will attract a woman far.more than money or an amazing car and house will.

Others say you must always be improving yourself and will never attract a woman being a guy who lives with his parents and doesn't have a good job.

Who tf is right?

We get women here saying she needs today's a man who can pull his own weight finabial wse and get others saying they sated his boyfriend while he was broke in college.

I can't choose to go one way but it turns out to be the wrong way. As it stand I am taking the "Don't give a damn about society and live the way I want to path but what if ten years down the line it makes me unattractive to 99% of women


What if I take the opposite path and go to university get a degree and good job not for myself but purely to improve my attractiveness, and that too comes back to bite me in the a55 because I work 12 hra a day and hate m job and I get a girlfriend at the cost of being totally miserable?

The “be yourself “ people aren’t right if being yourself means complaining, blaming everyone but yourself for your failures, and having an unhealthy view of what the problem actually is.

The people here have some really weird views on the majority of women. It’s probably your aspergers that’s the problem. You can work on that.

If you go to university to be more attractive, you need a psychiatrist. I recommend you see one. In the kindest way possible.

If you’re having problems figuring out why women dates a broke student and another a working man, you’re ignoring the elephant in the room. You just basically admitted that it’s not actually about the money.

Cooking is definitely an asset, although of course what people want cooked varies. If you aren't afraid of learning to cook new things that makes it even better. A woman who works long hours does not want to cook unless she is one of those "loves to cook" types to start with. I am so happy when someone else in our family cooks! Guys who like to cook always enjoyed showing that off to me when dating. Don't underestimate this as an asset. Alright, one asset on the list.

I have no interest in studyig, getting a degree and earning high money in a high position career.

I want to improve my mental health so I will.one day be able to live alone, drive, volunteer and work part time.

I'd be satisfied with a part time job at best and have no interest in anything beyond this.

Are you saying if I improve my attitude a part time job, living alone and being able to drive would be sufficiently desirable by more women?

And no, I wouldn't.improve my attitude purely for women. I'm just asking if licong for nyaelf and myself only would work out well for me or not.

You said it yourself before many of the people here choose only to complain and not.improve themselves at all.

But what 'improvement' is enough.

I've already mentiond I'm health and active, volunteer, work on my mental health but is living with my parents, not having a job just yet and not being able to drive really going to have no negative effects on my desirability so long as I be confident, have a positive attitude. Live for myself and enjoy.my life because newsflash Im already doing those things. Its just i feel upset about being lonely so i spend a tiny portion of my positive, confident, amazing days feeling depressed and needing to let off some steam.

The type of guy who goes out and has a great time, or goes out and has a good therapy session, or goes out and works a good days work at the food bank, but feels bad in the evenings and is up feeling alone at 3am every night. That's not my fault.

What more can I, should I do? Should I do.more or if im happy with my life then I'm doing enough?

But I won't be happy with my life if no woman ever loves me, but it seems I would be unhappy taking Tue necessary self improvement steps to be more attractive to a woman.

Fine, so.its a combination of looks, personality, money, health.

How do.you know what's the right thing to focus on?

How do you figure out which area you're lacking in?

Don't say its personality, I have NO way of.meeting ANYONE. My age so how can I know my personality is a problem for.me socializing when I don't socialize with people my age at all.

Its confusing because people are different.

And sometimes a little bit of both is really the right answer.

You don't improve yourself to get a girlfriend, although its OK if you start down a path for that reason (sometimes people just need a shove to do something they realize later they actually always wanted all along). People improve themselves because they usually feel better about themselves in the process. Accomplishing things feels good. Really good. If there is nothing attractive in it for you, then there is no point in doing it. You have to believe that you will be better for it. It doesn't work if you aren't pursuing it for the right reasons.

In that way, it also cycles back to being yourself. Someone faking who they are and pursuing goals that don't feel right to them isn't going to be happy; you can't fake who you are 24/7 forever. Trying to will lead to failure. In the same way, if trying to improve yourself feels all wrong, like it doesn't belong to you, you have to wonder if you can sustain it or make it work.

The better phrase that combines a little bit of both concepts is that you should try to be the best "you" you can be. Allow yourself to nourish your assets, pursue your interests, while also presenting your best side to the world

Some say only improve if it makes you happy, others say bite the bullet, have some discipline and do.something you don't like if it gives good results.

Sly doesn't care about losing weight but if he does it will.make him more attractive.

Should he or should he not if he's only doing it for women?

Or working a sh*t Job that pays good vs. None at all.

Start here. It is something you want, and it is something that will help you be the best "you" you can be. You don't need any other goals right now. Focus on this one.

Thank you.

The answer changes depending on the person and the situation. You can't reach a general conclusion because there is not one.

But your earlier post made clear, I think, what you, as a unique person at a particular point in your life, should do. Step one: focus on your mental health.

I still think losing weight and exercising for ones own health is a good idea. It's tough right now at the beginning of the process, but in a couple of months he's going to feel the benefits. He'll be healthier and have more energy.

Well it must be personality then. If you think you’re screwed there then focus on your health. Do you live in the woods? Why can’t you meet people?

Having no job, not studying, doing bad with online dating, having no friends, no family here except for the ones in this house, no family friends, and few meetup groups in this city will all do that.

I go out to the shops all the time, I go out to every major event, I go out anywhere and everywhere with family every weekend, and play a lot of outdoor sport, volunteer and my mrnral health support group but everyone there is too old or I'm just not interested in getting to know them for personal reasons, there's only a few people there.

I rarely seem to ever come across people my age
.
They all must be at the university, only time I ever saw any was at The parks in proximity to the college.

You focus on what makes you happy. You focus on what you enjoy. Then in time you meet someone values the same things and you're both happy doing what you both enjoy.

I really respect guys who work part time and volunteer the rest of the time. I wanted to do that when i was younger, but couldn't handle doing both. I didn't persevere with it. Remember the guy I was hung up on last year. He does that. I felt like I wasn't good enough for him because I'm working full time and not really doing much for other people.

My personality seems to be my issue. It feels wrong to change who I am to fit into the mainstream ideals. I am who I am. I'm trying to accept myself and if I meet someone who likes me for who I am that's my ideal.

Now there's little things I'm trying to improve like I'm trying to take more of an interest in other people, making myself remember to ask them questions and try not to talk about myself too much. It's hard because I'm naturally more of a story teller than a person who asks questions, but I'm getting there.

Improving social skills doesn't necessarily mean changing our core self.