Marknis wrote:
DW_a_mom wrote:
Marknis wrote:
DW_a_mom wrote:
Marknis wrote:
If accepting my current situation is the key to being in a relationship, just how long will I have to accept it and where can I find a relationship?
I don't think you need to accept your current situation so much as learn to do the best with it.
I don't know enough about your details to get more specific with action plans, but I've taught my kids to keep looking until they find acceptable options.
One idea for you right now that you might be able to leverage is researching Anime conventions and groups. There is a whole social world connected to that interest that you don't seem to be tapped into yet. Don't do this thinking "this is how I will find a girlfriend;" do it thinking "I need broader social outlets and this one would make me happy."
Anime clubs are supper common at schools and colleges, too. Don't forget to check junior colleges. You can always enroll in just one fun class. Just enough to connect you to the school clubs.
I live in a very sick city. It's polluted with people who religiously watch football, gab about cars, and fanboy over guns. Most of the hangouts are at crappy dive bars.
The local junior college does not have an anime club. In fact, they don't have any interesting clubs at all. I tried to inquire about joining a club and the club coordinator (In reality, a lazy woman who just sat in her office all day) told me she wouldn't open any unless I went around and asked people if they were interested but that was impossible to do because most people on the campus were just staring into their cellphones. This is partly why I dropped out of college.
Yet you cannot be the only one who feels out of place. The question is how to reach the others. How would you feel about posters saying "Anime Club, anyone interested in forming one please email X." Use a special new club email address so you don't have to mix emails in with your personal ones. Inevitably there will be some crazies to sort through. If you can find some interest be careful to choose a PUBLIC and safe first meeting location. Women won't come to a private home or other private location if they don't know anyone.
I am not in college so I can't really try that. That woman actually started some clubs which were NAACP and LULAC ones but kept balking at me. She thought I was probably a redneck and Christian Trump supporter and didn't need any help but that isn't true. Despite being white, white Christians hate me the most. Before anyone cries "Racist!" at me, I am not saying those sorts of clubs shouldn't exist. All I am saying is that people should be judged as individuals and not by ethnic groups.
A club does not have to be associated with a school. It can just be a club advertised through any medium you think people like you may be checking.
My suggestion is this: when I write a quick brainstorm idea, don't just look at the precise example I've suggested. Ask yourself, is there another way I could apply this general concept? If this idea does not work, can I brainstorm a new one that will work?
I know it is an ASD thing to take everything literally, but try to expand your thinking beyond the literal. The best ideas are going to come from you, yourself. You need to take suggestions we have and instead of saying, "sorry, B won't work," spend time figuring out if there could be a variation we haven't thought of (a B.2 or B.9 or C or D) that WILL (or, at least, might) work.
I'm going to use an analogy and I hope you can follow it and see it how can apply to what we are talking about (I do know analogies are difficult for those with ASD, but I just don't know what else to try at this point).
You need to get a lot more stubborn about blasting through the blockades in your life. You spin in circles because all you see are the blockades, but there are ALWAYS ways to circumvent blockades. Since I'm not sitting in your exact spot, I'm not in a position to see them. YOU are. All I can do is discover ways overs have gotten past theirs and give hints on things to look for. If I say "look for a red door" don't glance around for red and then stop; look if there is a door in another color, and if not a door, a window, or a loose wall, or a wall crafted so thin its like paper and easily torn through. Don't just look for red doors.
Also, you have many interests that could be enhanced by taking a single course at a local Junior college without full enrollment. I used to regularly take art classes after work. It was fun. You don't have to be shut off from student life IF you were to decide that was a way to go.
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Mom to an amazing young adult AS son, plus an also amazing non-AS daughter. Most likely part of the "Broader Autism Phenotype" (some traits).
31 Jan 2018, 4:44 pm
