No friends, but constantly having guys "wanting" me

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I've read some of your posts and I take note what you said about age. Young men are at an age where they can be a bit flaky but did you know that also applies to young girls.

Girls are generally more mature than males and I observe a similar pattern here on WP where female aspies on average seem to have more emotional intelligence than males on average.

However younger girls in your age group can also flip and are influenced by hormones and establishing their social identity. I watch my daughter's interaction with her peers and she has a much harder time making friends with 14-15 yr old girls compared to boys her age. Teenage girls are very judgey and self-conscious.

With that in mind I would give you the same advice I give Sly and boo. Be patient and tolerant. But most of all be yourself. Self-confidence is a very attractive trait and if you are genuine and sincere you will actually attract the right type of female friends. Take a chance and ask a female acquaintance to go on a girls night out, do something fun/spontaneous.

Often as a young person it requires moving out of your comfort zone a little. But trying something different is fun and exciting. Don't take to heart what other girls think of you. Its likely they are going through the same types of self-doubt that you are.

Yes, that: it's personality, however ASD accentuates it. My BFF doesn't feel joy at all, I feel a whole lot of joy. My BFF doesn't attract people, I attract a whole of people (or equally repel some). With effort I can dial back my joy and with effort she can dial hers up. We are both uncomfortable doing so for long. Likewise attraction. There is moderation in joy and attraction, but it's not "natural" for us. I attribute that to ASD. So the OP attracts a whole lot of people: personality + ASD.

I sure know how this goes. I can't seem to make friends with many guys, of course, this is MAINLY because I don't like how other guys are, following the "sex rule" that they should be "manly", which usually involves being a selfish jerk. I do actually have only a few guy friends, but that's mainly because we have a lot in common (e.g. video gaming, being autistic, etc.).

As for finding a romantic partner, I was quite popular with the girls, but they mainly wanted to "hook up" with me out of the blue, which I personally don't feel comfortable with. I'm interested in girls, don't get me wrong, but I'm demisexual; I can't be romantically interested in someone unless I have a long-term close connection with them.

"Everyone"?
Asking someone out is funny and a source of derision?
You either work with stupid people,
Or just plain ratbags.

How old are these "people"?
14/15?
Seriously,
If what you are saying is accurate,
You need to find another place of employment,
Pronto!

BTW,
What is your native language?

If it makes you feel any better,
*I'll* go out on a date with you.

Just an observation:

I am new to this forum, so this may not be accurate,
But you are one of the few people who are happy to engage in conversation on an extended level.
I am guessing, most who come here, aren't as extroverted as you.

It looks like this "engagement with the outside world" is attracting a lot of attention from people in real life,
You have made that observation above.
I am simply highlighting the fact.

A good lesson for others.

<Pepe Freud in contemplation mode>

Well since you have the ability to go into a repelling mode then just... remain in the repelling mode. Same for the OP.

Roll in mud, consume a lot of garlic and curry. Problem solved.

There’s no past experience or anything about me to be confident about anymore sadly.
I use to think there was but it was beat into me ther there’s not a worthy thing about me.
Boo doesn’t have issues attracting women or getting dates.

What? Aspies aren’t actual robots so I doubt she doesn’t feel joy.

18 all way up to 80
People don’t grow up. People are same as they were in high school.
They make fun of people , me included. Hearing how they do it to others I have no doubt they laugh at what a loser I am and how I’ll never be loved by any woman.
Not just at this job either but all the others, and people do it in social groups too.

Humans are so bored so they find it fun to gossip about others.

Yes, I do, especially with women of my culture.

Look, we are all in the s**t, only the depth varies.

Ok you are showing signs of expressing depressive symptoms, it's not just boo, Kraftie also used to got dates despite being short etc, Its all a mind set. '

I think a simple switch is all you need Sly and you would be more engaged. Did you read my post LunaticCentruroides? you need to move outside of your comfort zone. Life for everyone is about trade offs. How much do you want a girl friend? what are you willing to sacrifice? what would you give up? what would you be willing to try.

Lebanese girls seems very family orientated, I am surprised your mom hasn't arranged something for you Boo?

You tell stories of your sexual relationships. You had that one lady months ago. It lasted for months until she moved away. I’d kill to have that. Not in my wild it’s dreams could I imagine me even having a month long relationship or even week or two.

Women have zero interest in me. Even when they match with me it’s clear they have no real interest. I’ve seen how people interested interact to know now it’s nit so for me.

I’ll never even get to have sex unless I save and pay for it.

Bahahaha - I can't even fathom the idea. You mean like this scenario: The two families in her parent's lounge room each parents introducing their grown child boasting about their qualities? She's wearing a fancy dress, sitting shy next to her mom or dad, while I am wearing a formal suit like the idiot sitting next to my parents. Her mother would ask most of the questions and be like "So what does your young man do for living?" , my mom would be like "He writes code, right son?" Me: " Yes, I am a Software developer" - her mom: "Ohhhh doesn't that sound awesome? My Sarah is an accountant, she's so smart too!" - Me: "Um...I am sure she is, tante". Then she (the Sarah) would be serving turkish coffee for everyone which I hate, and her mom would stare like a vulture while trying it and be like "she made the coffee, is it good' and me be like 'Um...It can't be better, tante'.

Then in the dinning room I would be forced to eat something that even hungry pigeons won't eat and pretend to love it, and her mother would be like "Sarah cooked that for the occasion, isn't it great?" Me: "Mm...it is awesome, tante".

Then her parent would give a tour around their house, and lately to the balcony / garden / backyard, at this point both parents retreat (by "coincidence") so we can have a 1-to-1 chit chat while you can still see them from there gossiping and giggling about us.

I am glad I didn't experience that, my mother was a mathematician and doesn't like the whole idea either, but what I described above is exactly how it usually happens, based on others' stories.

Now, ewing aside, do you seriously think that the arranged thing would make the woman magically less picky and more accepting of me? It doesn't, on the contrary, the guy would be evaluated in grueling fashion and asked questions by her AND her parents in the same "date" - What a nightmare. Total humiliation.

If I would ever go for something formal, which I doubt, I would only meet the parents after establishing the relationship with her for a certain period - never the other way around.

Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 19 Jun 2020, 2:43 am, edited 1 time in total.