Looks and likability

Page 6 of 16 [ 243 posts ] Go to page Previous 1 ... 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 ... 16 Next

Previous topic | Next topic

The Grand Inquisitor
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 9 Aug 2015
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,785

02 Aug 2022, 9:22 pm

Twilightprincess wrote:

Spouses who stay at home are working although they aren't getting paid.

You mean because they're doing housework?

Twilightprincess wrote:

I don't have an issue with them doing most of the housework when the other is working outside the home. I have a problem with them being expected to look nice (i.e. wear makeup) and be pleasant to their partner when he gets home because he's had a stressful day working. People should always try to be pleasant, but housework IS work and should be acknowledged as such. The person who works outside of the home shouldn't hold this privileged position in the relationship. It should be an equal partnership where everyone's contribution is valued.

I agree.

Twilightprincess wrote:

Also, the post mentioned that women shouldn't worry about college or careers because that's not important to men. That's as cringey AF.

I don't think most men place a great deal of importance on college and career when looking for women to date. I think other things tend to matter more.

That said, that's a pretty silly reason for a woman to not pursue a college degree or prestigious job if she wants those things for herself.

TwilightPrincess
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 28 Sep 2016
Age: 42
Gender: Female
Posts: 35,924

02 Aug 2022, 9:27 pm

The Grand Inquisitor wrote:

Twilightprincess wrote:

Spouses who stay at home are working although they aren't getting paid.

You mean because they're doing housework?

Yes, if they are doing most of the cooking, cleaning, and caring for the kids (and whatever else), that is a lot. It’s more than a full-time job.

Quote:

Twilightprincess wrote:

Also, the post mentioned that women shouldn't worry about college or careers because that's not important to men. That's as cringey AF.

It’s more like the advice the poster was giving to women was upholding a 1950’s ideal. He seemed to be suggesting that a nice appearance and the desire to please her man (the provider) are more important than a woman’s brain and personhood:

Quote:

Women: Buy that makeup to enhance those looks(if you need it), stay fit(trust me it will help SO MUCH), be pleasant to be around because men want peace when they come home from work not more stress, and please get a cookbook the phrase: "A way to a man's heart is through his stomach" wasn't popular for pretty much since human existence just to sound good, it actually works. Also women while you value your degrees and high paying jobs, men do not value that when looking for a potential wife and mother

I think it’s lousy advice that should not be followed unless it aligns with a woman’s specific tastes and preferences.

Last edited by TwilightPrincess on 02 Aug 2022, 9:54 pm, edited 1 time in total.

cyberdad
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 21 Feb 2011
Age: 58
Gender: Male
Posts: 36,036

02 Aug 2022, 9:53 pm

The Grand Inquisitor wrote:

I don't think most men place a great deal of importance on college and career when looking for women to date. I think other things tend to matter more.

I think most university educated liberal/progressive men do want a partner who can share their intellectual pursuits or at the very least match their conversation.

TwilightPrincess
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 28 Sep 2016
Age: 42
Gender: Female
Posts: 35,924

02 Aug 2022, 9:56 pm

cyberdad wrote:

The Grand Inquisitor wrote:

I don't think most men place a great deal of importance on college and career when looking for women to date. I think other things tend to matter more.

I think most university educated liberal/progressive men do want a partner who can share their intellectual pursuits or at the very least match their conversation.

It certainly seems to be true of many of the men on WP. It’s nice to be able to share similar interests, ideas, and goals with one’s partner.

The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 44
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,678
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

02 Aug 2022, 10:31 pm

Twilightprincess wrote:

Where_am_I wrote:

^I feel your pain....my parents are Muslim, although liberal, they are very sexist.

My parents are fundamentalist Christians. There’s a lot of similarities among abrahamic religions.

That’s because Islam evolved from a heretic (according to Christians) Messianic-Jewish sect.

TwilightPrincess
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 28 Sep 2016
Age: 42
Gender: Female
Posts: 35,924

02 Aug 2022, 10:35 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

Twilightprincess wrote:

Where_am_I wrote:

^I feel your pain....my parents are Muslim, although liberal, they are very sexist.

My parents are fundamentalist Christians. There’s a lot of similarities among abrahamic religions.

That’s because Islam evolved from a heretic (according to Christians) Messianic-Jewish cult.

And Christianity evolved from a messianic cult that emerged out of Judaism.

The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 44
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,678
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

02 Aug 2022, 10:55 pm

and Judaism evolved from a Henotheist Canaanite cult.

kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

02 Aug 2022, 10:59 pm

Many men do value intelligent women.

TwilightPrincess
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 28 Sep 2016
Age: 42
Gender: Female
Posts: 35,924

02 Aug 2022, 11:01 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

and Judaism evolved from a Henotheist Canaanite cult.

and we could probably go back and back to when humans evolved the ability to think abstractly and needed something to explain their existence and make sense out of the chaos…

The Grand Inquisitor
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 9 Aug 2015
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,785

03 Aug 2022, 12:00 am

cyberdad wrote:

The Grand Inquisitor wrote:

I don't think most men place a great deal of importance on college and career when looking for women to date. I think other things tend to matter more.

I think most university educated liberal/progressive men do want a partner who can share their intellectual pursuits or at the very least match their conversation.

That could be true, but then the trait they're after is intelligence rather than a college/university degree or a distinguished career. There are plenty of intelligent people out there who don't have college degrees and high-status careers.

TwilightPrincess
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 28 Sep 2016
Age: 42
Gender: Female
Posts: 35,924

03 Aug 2022, 1:08 am

The Grand Inquisitor wrote:

cyberdad wrote:

The Grand Inquisitor wrote:

I don't think most men place a great deal of importance on college and career when looking for women to date. I think other things tend to matter more.

I think most university educated liberal/progressive men do want a partner who can share their intellectual pursuits or at the very least match their conversation.

It depends on the person. I would prefer someone that has at least one degree, but it wouldn’t necessarily be a dealbreaker. People can learn much just by reading and studying topics on their own. I couldn’t be with someone who wasn’t well-read/intellectually curious and a deep thinker or who had irrational, unscientific beliefs, though.

Having said that, I wasn’t so concerned about this stuff when I was younger and had romantic, emotion-based values. I’ve learned through experience that a relationship won’t be fulfilling for me in the long run if we can’t connect on a deep, intellectual level. College can help with that but it’s not a requirement. It’s more of a very strong preference.

Most of the men I’ve dated were less educated than I was. I haven’t dated in years, though.

The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 44
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,678
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

03 Aug 2022, 3:04 am

Degrees are way overrated if not aligned to your work, my master's was 90% useless to what I am working now. If I have a time machine I would go back and go for a more relevant second degree rather than Master's.

Actually, I may go back even further to change my first pick.

HighLlama
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 12 Apr 2015
Age: 43
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,017

03 Aug 2022, 3:14 am

Jamesy wrote:

Do you agree that even if a person is nice and has a good heart there 'looks' can make them either likeable or unlikeable? Call it the 'halo effect' if you want to.

Their looks don't make them likable as a person. You're only liking their looks, which will change. Who they are is less likely to change.

The world is full of good-looking people, but this is largely unimportant. I meet a lot of attractive people each day, but few adults. And their immaturity counteracts any physical attraction. If looks make you like a person, you exhibit poor impulse control and personal depth.

You people are way too obsessed with looks, and must learn to like yourselves.

Nades
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 8 Jan 2017
Age: 1935
Gender: Male
Posts: 4,133
Location: wales

03 Aug 2022, 3:47 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

Depending on the major, a degree can very often be useless. I don't think I've seen a art or media student making decent money. Many times the cap gets thrown in the air in celebration of completing a degree and a McDonalds cap falls back down on their heads.

I dropped out of University in 2011 and it was a good choice for me. I Invested my time and energy on other pursuits and it's really paying off. To me an education doesn't matter so long as the woman had some get up and go in her and savvy.

I think education doesn't matter a huge amount to many as academia isn't the best sign of success anymore. In the past it was something special to have a degree but now it's meh.

The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 44
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,678
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

03 Aug 2022, 2:16 pm

Nades wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

Yes certainly a degree in MS is a must for doctors.

I started with a business degree then Master’s in MIS; I held an entry jobs for the first 6 years of my life after graduation; then I was like oh f**k it; I went for a diploma of extensive programming of 17 months night courses, luckily I landed on a software project with a senior dev while studying those courses , note: I always loved programming and was used to write scripts to automate my work hence why I decided to become a full fledged programmer.

And here I am, been working as a programmer, web developer, since 2016.

Overall, the Programming diploma proved to me to be way more useful than then other degrees. I do regret my first 6 years.

The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 44
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,678
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

03 Aug 2022, 2:26 pm

^ and oh, I forgot to mention that after these 6 years I ended up unemployed for 6 depressing months; no one was accepting someone in 30s who worked only in administration/logistics; and literally every hiring manager asked me if I know software development (for writing actual software, not just scripting) because this what they were seeking, so I realized where’s the meat in the job market.
The diploma costed me about 7000$ of tuition fees total, I’ve got almost broke.

Two months+ of salary got them back tho afterwards.

Page 6 of 16 [ 243 posts ] Go to page Previous 1 ... 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 ... 16 Next

Jump to:

Looks and likability Post Reply New Topic

Looks and likability