Why do women send mixed signals?

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Trust me, after almost five years of unsuccessfully trying to get a girlfriend, I have become very cynical about women and I can predict their actions pretty well. Doesn't do anything for me, but it makes constant rejections more interesting.

I'll be looking for books soon.

The techniques in the books GroovyDruid recommended, while possibly (probably?) excellent for relating to NT women, will not work on Aspie women. Just as an aside .

I, for example, want clear, honest communication. The minute a guy starts trying out seduction techniques on me, I am very turned off.

Um, this doesn't describe me at all. Perhaps it does describe all those women I don't understand and don't enjoy being around, however ....

Oo. Yeah. Forgot to mention that caveat: aspie women are not of the same breed as NT women. These books are for relating to NTs, for the most part.



That's awesome! I would love to see this someday. I've studied all the tricks and have used more than a few to ... communicate ... with NT women, but that doesn't mean I wouldn't thoroughly enjoy seeing a NT guy who prides himself on his Game getting shot to pieces by a hot aspie chick!

We are of a different breed aren't we <---that is a good thing.
however I wonder why you are cautioning him that we aspie women are not the same... I think the caution would be better suited to him being attracted to a NT... ?

It goes both ways, at least for me. I don't get "turned off" when some misguided girl decides to flirt with me, but it's certainly confusing. I can recognize it easily enough, but I never have a clue how to respond to it, or even if I should. It seems vaguely dishonest when talking to someone to have an ulterior motive which you're trying to introduce in a sneaky manner instead of plainly and directly, and I'm helpless to do anything but ignore that kind of behavior.

Oh...it was more of a gut reaction thing on my part, not so much a caution to GroovyDruid. More a "heads up" to all the guys trying to figure out what to do to communicate with women. Mixed with some "hey, I don't like being lumped in with people like that" and some "if you stick to Aspie women you won't have to read and absorb these kinds of strange alien techniques" .

Yes, that's what I'm talking about not working with me. All that suave, smooth-talking crapola. A guy who's interested in talking about something "real" and is friendly is appealing, if it otherwise "clicks"; but guys who are clearly pretending to be interested just so they can take you home are boring and a definite turn-off even if I find them physically attractive.

Now, a guy who is friendly and right straight up front about wanting to take you home, that's a turn-on again . I guess its the "fakey" aspect that really turns me off. "Let me say the right things....let me move the right way...let me sneak my hand over to her shoulder as I point out the painting on the wall....let me pretend to be fascinated by what she's saying...." Yuck.

I just don't want some poor fellow to get mixed up. That's all. Aspie guys have enough pain in this area.

True enough...

From the behavior aspect, this is fascinating....

See, some of the things you have mentioned as turn-offs are also turn-offs to NT women--but for different reasons.

For example, touching a girl by pointing over her shoulder? BIG mistake when seducing an NT girl. Why? Because she know's she's got you. You wanted to touch her, and you did, and she can have you if she wants you, which of course means she won't want you, and she'll go after some other guy she's not sure she can get.

But you eschew the game element entirely, the "saying and doing the right things" stuff. Fascinating.

I do that naturally, too, of course. I love it when a girl is up-front about liking me and getting to know me. Unfortunately, in the NT world, such women are usually NUTS. (Yes, BONKERS, INSANE.) NT women who bypass the game are very often--though not always--out of their tree. I've found they have serious emotional problems, mental illness, or the like.

And you thought that Aspie guys have a hard time... try being a sane Aspie girl... who intends on being upfront... ARGH! It's Fruitless!

Actually, I'm surprised to hear aspie women complain as much as they do about relationships, or the lack thereof. Knowing the way men are, and how bad even NT guys are at reading signals, I would think aspie girls wouldn't have such a problem. But apparently they do...

I have been talking with Heidi, but she is very depressed about things, she needs a job and had an interview, but she did not get it. I try to cheer her up, but she keeps getting down on herself. I'm getting annoyed wuth her being depressed all the time.

MAJOR UPDATE: I stayed over Heidi's the other night. We grew closer. She wants to be intimate with me, but she still has some issues, i told her it would be ok, she is worth the wait. I'm VERY HAPPY.

I have a problem that men think I am flirting with them because I talk to them. Why is this? When I talk to men, sometimes I find what they say interesting so I have a discussion with them. They seem to assume that this is because I would like to go to bed with them which is ridiculous, and is the last thing on my mind.

This is the reason I would prefer an aspie as a partner...If I fancy him, I will tell him straight and there will be no problem! If I just want a discussion, hopefully I can do that without him thinking that I would like to have sex with him.


Bunny

because due to testerone sex is on men's minds just about 90% of the time