10 Jun 2010, 2:44 am
sarek
Pileated woodpecker
Joined: 18 Apr 2010
Age: 62
Gender: Male
Posts: 190
Location: Noord-Holland or thereabouts
10 Jun 2010, 4:06 am
nick007
Veteran
Joined: 4 May 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 28,552
Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in capitalistic military dictatorship called USA
10 Jun 2010, 5:59 am
She was as far down in life as it is possible to go, almost suicidal even. But what began as words of support and encouragement turned into a most incredibly deep love almost from the very beginning.
Is that site still around
I used to use some support sites a couple years ago & I liked helping people out when I can
20 Jun 2010, 8:18 pm
20 Jun 2010, 8:56 pm
21 Jun 2010, 3:52 pm
21 Jun 2010, 4:47 pm
The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 44
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,664
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
21 Jun 2010, 5:14 pm
"You'll find love one day", is perfectly truthfull. In fact, you may find love soon, you'll see that special girl that looks at you, she comes over to talk to you, you work together on a project (for school or work) and then one day, you'll fall in love - and then she mentions her boyfriend.
See? It happened to me! EVERYONE can find love (...and then have their heart smashed to bits).
You forgot the rest of the story, for those of us who did have a happy ending.
You talk to the girl, become her friend or acquaintance, stay in her mind, and then when she dumps/gets dumped by said boyfriend, you're on the short list of candidates to be the next boyfriend.
Way too many guys write off girls with boyfriends as if they are permanently out of the market -- nothing could be farther from the truth. Most women that are worth it will have a boyfriend at any given time -- why wouldn't they? The mistake guys make is to leave a bad impression by instantly losing interest when they hear about the boyfriend. These guys (and I was one of them) turn what should have been a good, long-term investment in a friendship/possible future relationship into yet another failure, and at the same time demonstrate to the girl that they aren't into her as a person, only as a prospect. I know that guys here will protest and say "I just wanted to show that I'm not the kind of scum that would hit on a girl who was already involved!" but women don't read it that way. Instead, they scratch you off of the list.
That being said, there's a fine line to walk between being a friend and being friended. Don't give girls like that too much of your time until they are ready to move towards a relationship with you -- don't get used, don't be the "shoulder to cry on" all the time. Be firm, be nice, be strong, and maybe be her next boyfriend.
How do I tell the difference between being a friend & being friended
Lots of my women friends run to me for emotional support to complain about their jerk of a BF & when they are single those women do not like me in "that way" but they tell me how they wish their BFs wer like me. It's very frustrating 
Women never give me a chance 
If you complain to them like that, they never will. Never complain to a woman, it just makes them think you are in their mode, and not masculine enough to "deal with it."
Being a friend means she calls you, does nice things for you, thinks of you when opportunities or other nice events come up.
When you are friended, you get used emotionally -- she calls you up just to complain, doesn't care about your problems or concerns (or your life). You also can get used in more obvious ways -- help on homework, studying, etc. Now, don't get me wrong -- studying with a girl for a test together can actually help you seal the deal (done that before), but only if she was interested in the first place, and if you end up spending more time talking to eachother about things than actually studying. This has to happen naturally. A user girl won't let the session go off the rails like that -- she'll keep steering it back to business, because at the end of the day, that's all you are -- business, a means to an end.
Does this help? I can clarify further.
I get it now & I do not complain to women; they never give me a chance to. If it wasn't for women like that; I'd have no women friends
Only people who like me are gay/bi guys & older women who talk about how they wish their daughters/granddaughters would like me instead of being with losers. That's why I think I need an arranged marriage. Some people think I'm a great guy but women are completely unattracted & uninterested in me romantically. I think there must be some kind of class that women take that teaches em all NOT to give me a chance but compare every guy they date to me instead You must not believe every word people say , including girls , especially when they are crying and upset , they really don't mean what they are saying when they are in that state.
Don't ever believe a crying 'friend' girl telling you "
Boohoo, I wish if my bf was just like you, nick".
If her biggest wish was really getting a guy who is 'just like you' then she would dump her bf and tries anything to date you, but she won't ....she will probably go back to her bf.
Learn to stop being naive.
And keep in mind that not all friendly people are your friends.
21 Jun 2010, 7:01 pm
My advice? You are 30 almost 31.
Give up on "love". By this i mean give up on your preconceived notions of western philosophical "romance" and just practice simple things like hygiene. healthy lifestyle. and in general being "friendly". you have an internal clock that may very well soon expire.
all women want are things you can eventually provide.
if you are finantially secure/stable.
keep yourself clean eg bath regurly shave accordingly. trim nails. etc. etc. etc.
also fashion. how your clothes look. eg less Albert Eisenstein more "Calvin Kline" ask a woman in any store "what should I wear, why and how do you dress your bf husband"
practice saying hi. then go from there.
women are a lot more like you than different from you. they want someone who makes them comfortable.
also try using dating guides for tools eg. dating 101 or cocky funny theories from David Deangelo.
also try improv theater classes. thats what cured me of a lot of my uncomfortable social quirks. 
oh yeah, and Yes it is BS. Love is merely an opinion. lest it is "IMO"
hope this helps.
-Zane
24 Jun 2010, 6:12 am
Ambivalence
Veteran
Joined: 8 Nov 2008
Age: 48
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,613
Location: Peterlee (for Industry)
24 Jun 2010, 6:49 am
Misogynist BS.
24 Jun 2010, 9:50 am
24 Jun 2010, 10:03 am
24 Jun 2010, 1:04 pm
nick007
Veteran
Joined: 4 May 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 28,552
Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in capitalistic military dictatorship called USA
24 Jun 2010, 1:47 pm
Where are you meeting those women
I've been told that women do NOT like me because I'm clingy & needy I do NOT have a problem with women like that It probably doesn't matter thou cuz only 1% of Aspies get married so the odds are completely against us
24 Jun 2010, 1:52 pm
it wasn't for me 
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