what is this 'bad boy' stereotype all about?

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Finally someone who gets it! I prefer being HATED by everyone to just being IGNORED by everyone. At least I'll be remembered that way.



I know you are, but don't worry...that feeling of attraction will go away once you see what I look like.

SadAspy. Listen. I understand that individual women have hurt you in the past. I get it. I've been there and lived with that anger. You may not believe this, but I do care about you...in a truly altruistic way, and as much as one can care anonymously through the interwebs. I want you to choose love. I want you to choose life. I want you to find happiness that is independent of other's judgement on you, especially the judgement of women. You need to find out why you value others opinion of you so highly. You have to seek help and stick with it even if it gets really tough. Do this for yourself because you are worth it.

giving ur number to someone for opening the door for u is creepy
that or common courtesy is realy lacking these days

Last edited by Zinnel on 17 Sep 2011, 12:59 am, edited 1 time in total.

actualy the funny thing is attraction can still be around even if ur not what that person considers attractive, the last girl i dated, i met on FB and after talking awhile (a month or 2)
she and i met in real life, and both of us could tell the other was alittle taken back by the way the other looked (im very tall and big, she was very short and skinny) she realy wasnt what im normaly attracted to and i wasnt what she was normaly attracted to

but that attraction was still there amazingly it didnt die, becuz the human mind has a tendency to build attraction just from talking to others (when u remove the physical interaction aka. online dating) now i did break up with her for other reasons,
but attraction isnt as simple as looks or attitude, on here we all are trying to breakdown and analyze something thats far too complex
u know who realy has good luck with relationships its not the ones who study attraction and try to figure it out and how one sterotype is more attractive than the other

its the ones who believe attraction is a force of nature and that u cant control it or figure it out, u just got to survive it with it goes against u or cherish the moments when its on ur side

Where's your response to my last PM?

I´m not able to reply to your last pm.
I already told you everything I know on what happened with her and I refuse to get engaged on a conversation about how all females that arent my relatives are evil.

If you feel creeped out by it, that's your prerogative. I don't think there's any thing wrong with it.

Hopefully you'll use something light and not something like this:

why not just accept the world the way it is? you'd be much happier if you realised that people can't help the way they are. women are not mean, shallow, manipulative or evil, they're just attracted by traits that you don't posses. in other words - it's not them, it's you (and you know it).

Finally....a woman admits this! I do indeed lack good looks, money (though I used to have some..honest!), and a bad boy persona.

So on this, you're right...I'm just sick of being told that my negative attitude is the problem, when it's clear to anyone who isn't brain-dead or lying that my problem is lack of the above traits.

May I suggest trying to focus on what you do have instead of what you lack?.

For example I lack of confidence and social skills. I could theoretically complain all day about how no female wants to even talk to me because I lack of this things, instead I tried to find some areas where Im somewhat succesfull and I focus on those areas for a while.

Until I was 14 I was a social failure(several years with the guidance counselor because of constant bullying, most of my classmates avoided me like the plage...), I used to focus on aspects that I was lacking and complaining about not having them.
One day someone decided to make me their project and they begun to try to help me improve my social skills if I helped them with some subjects at school, I was a little hesitant at first but I figured things couldnt go worse.

You know what was the first thing I was taught?, find something you are good at and dont try to focus on another aspect until you´ve mastered the one you are working with. I had some trouble finding a skill I had but according to some people I looked like I was a funny guy so I went down that path. I had an struggle finding what was funny and what wasnt for a while but within months everyone was pretending to like me(which may not be the greatest thing ever but its better than bullying), I had made some real friends and I was approached by people I didnt know just to talk and crack a few jokes.

Right now Im trying to focus on becoming a better listener and I have no idea what I´ll do next but you have to try to keep improving your skills if you want to get somewhere and complaining about your lack of certain skills instead of finding those that you have isnt going to help you on this matter.

I am more with the "divide and conquer" strategy: Keep focusing on what I have while trying to develop/create/compensate the things I lack.

Soon, you gonna see me being sponged by glamour models. :trollface:

The realities of the world do demand certain basic traits. Being widely considered good looking, wealthy or having a bad boy persona are not requirements. They could be helpful but plenty of guys do fine without them. You might be considered good looking by a few rather than everyone, even if you don't agree with them. Your judgement isn't important here.

Once you have the basics down (A job & some basic comfort around women), then the attitude with which you approach situations is very important. Expect nothing, be as friendly as you can, and see what happens.

the list is of your making, not mine. you keep mentioning how you lack this and that - fine. in such a massive pool of individuals as humans are, some are bound to fall in the "undesirable" category. you didn't have much luck in the gene lottery - tough s**t. there's plenty of people like this here, myself including. that's no reason to see the regulars as evil though.

the simple fact that variety exists proves that you can get lucky - how else would undesirable people keep popping up? you could hold on to that.



your negative attitude *is* what is wrong with your life. it's simply unsustainable in the long run. dating has nothing to do with this. I'm sure that your attitude is not the major cause of your problems in the dating sector, but that doesn't change the fact that it might just kill you one day. you should work on it - fixing it might not get you laid, but it just might save you some stomach ulcers and heart attacks

also, since you admit that your problem is the lack of desirable traits, how does that lead you to the conclusion that women are mean/shallow/<insert insult>? you can't prove that attraction is a choice.

Yeah I'm ugly, slow, uneducated, boring, uninteresting, weak minded, and poor. I have no friends, and I've never been on a date. As if I can get a decent looking girl to even talk to me in public.


I've realized a long time ago that I lack ANY traits that women find attractive by men. It didn't make me happier, in fact I felt more like s**t. I grew jealous of males with good looks, and real mad at girls when I hear them talking about how "cute" or "sexy" a man is. No one's ever called me that, at least not as a joke.

I grew more depressed and bitter because I realized there's nothing I can do to have friends and/or make myself more attractive to women. It just increased the loneliness, despair, and misery that I've been feeling.

For something purely sexual, women are attracted to looks, excitement, and basically the ability of the man to show her a good time. You're not likely to find that kind of woman on OkCupid or the local library, though. For something longer term, women are looking for something more complicated beyond mere physical chemistry. A mature woman woman would look for a man with signs of intelligence, ambition, and good personality. Women who would seek a long-term relationship with a "bad boy" are probably themselves immature or have various issues.