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Just let it go. The fact she can't be bothered talking to you much tells me that she doesn't really care about setting up a date, and it doesn't matter to her whether she goes on it or not.

Just leave her to it.

Also it's the internet. It's possible it's some fat 50 year old man jerking your chain.

Last edited by hale_bopp on 26 Dec 2011, 4:25 am, edited 1 time in total.

I can see that you would like that to be true... but I don't think it is.

Let me abstract to general principles. True every time. Let men think they have created a safe world and they have beat the alpha male. For so many of them their fragile egos need that attention. (Sigh, its a bore to have to play games but you might want the company and the cock). Let him think that their "big world" is the safest and most interesting and fascinating you've ever been in (We know its what he needs. Shame as it would be nice to share a magic bubble world, but this cocky dope thinks he needs to create yours for you. What a sad could have been.) Anyway create Your My Big safe world. Make them feel they are such fun, your hero, so smart and understanding of life, and different to be around. Hooks the immature and the inexperienced. Try to love them, if they are lovely, discover as you grow up, your real love can not live like that.

General principles work for teenagers and school discos and anyone who takes a little longer to mature. It doesn't work for real life grown up women, so dont present them like they are universal truths. They aren't, they are cheesy bollocks (never put those two words together before). Your "top down models" have been formed at a young age with limited data. Everytime you receive any data that questions your models you cant hear it. Confirmation bias. An Aspie ought to be smarter. You should learn better. Do you actually meet real women?

nearly every women on this thread agrees, she didn't lie, she is not a b***h - now you are really being weird. please relax, you look lovely.

why not learn something? then next time you will have a happy date?

The last girl I met who seemed cool bothered me on only one occasion. She was a natural actress, amazing at reading people and blending in, and the crazy manager made some bitchy comment about me, trying to create an in-group, which I can deal with all day long, but then the nice girl, knowing she had to be safe around everyone not just the crazy manager, offered a bridging comment in my defence. It hurt because she put me on the same level as someone who could be played with words. If she had given the crazy manager exactly what she wanted, by for example snorting derisively at the idea of being anywhere near me, I would've been like "Oh! She can see me!" and I would've fallen in love.

But no one can see me.

It's okay. I'm transparent when I'm feeling anything, and girls like to be loved by someone who doesn't hold anything back, especially when I'm balls deep, it's a very intense connection.

Oh, my trick, btw, was for the big world I used the real world. That was the advantage I had over psychopaths. I could always go one bigger. I called it 'manipulating with the truth', because I'm a weird looking, clueless, unemployed bum and shouldn't have access to the most beautiful girls except that I could connect to them through the real world. I must have been Buddha or Paul Daniels.

True for some, in time. Does your Big Safe World formula sound like it would work for me and any of the other women on here that are telling you "no, not right"?

Personally I like "still waters run deep". I like hard-shelled guys who initially hold it all back. I like to work very hard for quite some time to get what I need - just another friend, not domestic bliss. I want to connect deeply and I want to really earn that.. I like them to be a very complicated puzzle, someone who is truly surprised when my tolerance, care and intellect crack their codes and show them something new cos they thought there was nothing new. I want to leave them shocked and stunned. I want to be Sherlock and to see all the things that other people can not see. I want to make them feel things they didn't know were possible. I need to know that I am the only person who could have created our tiny unique bubble world. f**k the real world. Does that sound anything like your Big Safe World? Your theory for women would have worked a treat on me aged 16-20, but after that I doubt it. Grown up women don't fit your formula. In the same way smart NTs can be mavericks and independent thinkers and not simply herd animals. Let go of the general principles and go find the girl in the shop. Stop manipulating and have a nice cup of tea instead?

The guys you're describing are easy to come by. Most in the form of inexperienced boys. The rest as violent psychopaths. I'm sorry, but fraac is right, generally speaking. He just elucidates it too explicitly. Nobody really thinks in those terms, it just happens automatically with experience. On both sexes behalves.

Yes. This.

(& Sherlock's interactions with that woman were hilarious. )

Kenjuudo -

No, you misunderstand me.

Last edited by pastafarian on 26 Dec 2011, 9:45 am, edited 1 time in total.

pasta: for girls about 25 they really really need to feel safe, and for beautiful girls they need a big world. It's all about DNA. Your way of seeing men like crossword puzzles seems more like a pastime than an evolutionary necessity.

Ok. I'm sorry.

Is fraac driven by evolutionary necessity? Sounds like fraac feels he has free will, can't be manipulated by hormones, and is not just an animal with base instincts?

and yet everyone else..........(heirarchies, predictability, formula, cows, ants, oxytocin).

LOL

Probably Earl from Dubuque...again.

Yes, so I do what I've described. I don't understand your point.

I actually meant experienced adult men that are wired differently. Hard-shelled didn't mean repressed or immature, just difficult to crack. I'm a 45 year old NT female. Not interested in psychopaths for friends and can smell them a mile. Since I escaped a psychopath aged 21 I started to like autistic/slightly autistic older men. I now have several ASD men in my life, lovers, friends and partners. I always liked men who maybe thought there was nothing new. There is always something new. There is always a new way to be with people. Thats the crossword puzzle.

Thats just about me. More importantly my point is fraac's approach is too simplistic - wanting to have general principles to describe complex womankind. I don't think I do the Big Safe World thing. Thats all. He was right about weakness, maybe right about Big Safe World for younger girls. But you can't have a formula for grown up men and women.