Mail Order Brides

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If you get one who speaks English & you talk things over a lot & you are committed to trying to make it work. I'm mostly wanting a partner who's going to try make a relationship work with me which is why the mail-order bride thing is so appealing to me. Most women are not willing to give me a chance & try but a mail-order bride would

Define "submissive." You can be a feminist and still have a quiet, low key personality, and anti-feminist and be rather loud and bossy (Phillyis Schlafly, sarah Palin, Michelle Bachman). Feminism is a philosophy, not a personality trait. It sems like you need someone quiet and low key. An American dating service can probably match you up with someone like that.

Sometimes the term feminist isn't used as a political term, sometimes it is used in the sense to describe someone that enjoys dominating men or feeling a sense of power over them. It can also be a term that is sometimes used to describe women that are bitter or have generalizing perspectives against men.

This is how it is often used these days. There might well be a lot of people who have feminist ideas that are like this but the loudest, nuttiest, most dominating ones tend to get the label.

This, this, this.

Hmmm. In my experience outspokenly anti-feminist women often are more bitter about men and treat them more cruely because they can't live up to their unrealistic expectations of being the "perfect dominant male." They act submissive for a while, but often have affairs behind the men's backs and stuff.

NOT dominating, more passive, dependent, affectionate, sensitive, clingy, needy, needs more reassurance. My 1st girlfriend was like that & I sometimes felt like her therapist or older brother or parent because she kept coming to me with emotional problems but I went to her a lot too. I think that could be a relationship strength if we are both kinda the same way.
I tried lots of dating sites for 5 years & I tried asking out women I knew offline & I had always NO luck but bad. I get put in the "just friends" category & I screw-up by trying for more. Things like attraction are completely irreverent to me because I develop feelings for any girl if I allow myself to after I know her a while & she's nice. I care about sustainable things like respect, trust, commitment, being able to discuss things & find ways for both of us to compromise when we're at odds. I think a mail-order bride would be about my only chance but I'm open to ideas but nothing has ever worked for me except getting lucky & somehow stumble into getting a relationship with someone by posting about things on forums a lot

the term feminist may be used that way, but it is not what the word means, it is incorrect to use it that way. Would you like it if/when aspergers is used to mean something negative and not what aspergers means? such as when people use aspergers to mean pedantic or stupid, is that ok because its just another way people are using the term?

Funny, I consider myself a feminist, but I usually let the man take the emotional lead. Maybe it's because I'm always attracted to NT's and I'm a bit of a lazy person I don't think feminism had any thing to do with torpedoing my relationships, it was always my social phobias that got in the way. So I'm no relationship guru.

No matter what you choose, nick007, I hope it works out for you.

To the guy who's considering it:

Did you ever think about what 'scene' you are getting involved in?
That's prolly straight up international organized crime running it behind those cover companies, not your local pimp. Since 'she' got caught up in it, 'she' must have experience/some connection with them. I'd stay far far away from those people.
Besides, it's not only about if she wants to or not, it's about feeding the demand of the market keeping that shady industry alive.

But hey on the other hand who hasn't daydreamed about it once after seeing an add ...

My father has a friend who had more or less a "mail order bride." She was from the Philippines. By all accounts, their marriage was OK until she caught on to Western social rules. What it was, basically, my mom accused her husband of treating her like a "slave" but I think it's just different cultural values, so her husband probably treated her like she'd have gotten treated in the Philippines, so more a traditional "housewife" kinda thing. But yeah, once she figured out she could "get more" so to speak, she did, and then she divorced him after a few years, and then things got way worse for her and she went out with this Cambodian guy with tear drop tattoos under his eyes and stuff.

As far as the guy's character, well, he was weird, very much a sorta stereotypical gun nut kinda person. But, from the stories my dad has told me, not too nice of a guy either way. So I'd say her marriage to him wasn't "ideal" in that she didn't get the cream of the crop kinda guy here in the states, but I don't think he like, beat her or anything. Now this guy, he goes to strip clubs and looks for Columbian women. He's also been to Taiwan, trying to strike up another international relationship. So yeah, maybe kinda a douche, I don't know him personally, but from what I gather, yeah.

So, while I'm sure really bad stuff happens sometimes, it's more just in international dating, the demographics don't attract "normal" nice people. Remember, it's not like they just "order" women, he had to go to the Philippines and also went to Taiwan, to meet and talk with the person he was communicating with either on the phone or on the internet.

I don't think it's a "bad" thing per se, just if you're a douche, you're a douche. You're gonna treat women like a douchebag regardless of if they're from overseas or not, just women from overseas could be going here for economic reasons, and yeah.

That said, while I'm probably not going to use a "mail order bride" agency, I am considering going overseas and seeing if my luck is better there, when I get the money and other resources to do it. I think I get along much better with foreign women, and just find them more natural to talk to and be around. So, I wanna go to Japan one day and basically see what happens, if women there like me or not. Supposedly in Japan, once women are past 30, guys there don't wanna marry them. So, if I can get an "old" (31) and "fat" (23BMI) Japanese girl, then hey, that'd be kickass. That said, I'm not deadset on marrying a foreigner, it just seems easier from my experiences with foreigners here in the states. If some girl comes along who's a US native, and it works out, it does, and that's that. But, foreign girls seem much easier for me to talk to and get along with.

So, that's my take on mail order brides and international dating. Yeah, sometimes it's not good, and yes, sometimes there is criminality involved, and sometimes the guys who go for international dating are douchebags, but other times, it goes well and the couple has a happy life.

I disagree with the concept on moral standards. It objectifies women and exploits people from poorer countries.

A new documentary, for anyone interested.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hgms5XpUQ54[/youtube]

According to the caption under the video, international marriage agencies account for only about 16,000 marriages per year in the USA. That's out of more than 2 million weddings total per year. Less than 1%--a mere drop in the bucket.

I'm gonna go this route one day. I always forget that this is an option.

When it is about "ordering a bride from a catalogue", I absolutly do not agree. None of both will be happy by that.

But I dont see something bad about falling in love with a woman from a foreign country or searching on serious (!) dating sites and so on. The uncle of my partner lives since about 5 years in thailand with a woman, he already knew from meetings and internet chatting before, and he is very happy.

I have no tears for men that buy woman, and then cry around that those woman were not grateful. I mean do they think, that foreign woman are dumb as flies or what? Sure these woman are not grateful, when being bought as a slave. Its as if I would kick a man in his balls, and then cry around how bad the guy is for not being grateful, when I kick him in the balls. XD Specially when its some outdated rightwing guy, that blames about modern woman and that they dont let them treat like s**t, then he buys a woman, treats her like s**t, and those bad foreign woman also wont let herself treat like s**t and divorces as fast as they can. ^^

But nothing against classic meeting and dating a woman, may it be real or in the internet.

No, they get deluded that they really want them for more than the green card they offer.