"Sweet" is now my least favorite word

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biostructure
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03 Apr 2012, 9:07 pm

ValentineWiggin wrote:

I guess it must be the sexual thing, then. I've no shortage of passion about a ton of issues, and have had people tell me I'm fascinating to talk to- maybe I'm confusing "sweet" with "dull". But yeah, I don't project anything remotely sexual and tend to be quite deferential in dating or relationship situations. I get asked if I'm religious a lot.

I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt given that I don't know you, but I will point out that "passionate" is more than just "interested". It has to involve a certain restlessness, in some sense a desire to "conquer" the field that you are interested in. Not particularly by attacking others, but you have to in some sense aim higher than what is ordinary for mere mortals, i.e. challenge yourself. Again, you may be doing this just fine.

ValentineWiggin wrote:

biostructure wrote:

Those women I'm most attracted to project an emotional state that's like a middle-schooler, even though they are of adult age.

That really does describe me. My mom says I've the intellect of a professor and the emotional development of a little girl. Which is fine when you are a little girl, or even when society used to value "innocence" in a woman. But now it's all hypersexualized.

That's just it: for me, innocent and sexual are FAR from opposites. One of my biggest pet peeves about Western society, in fact, is its assertion that these are mutually exclusive. I had urges that were, though not sexual in an adult sense, blatantly sensual and bodily, even when I was a little kid.

I often feel what I really need is a woman with the intellect of an adult and the emotional development of a little boy. But while women who are emotionally like women, girls, even men seem to be "findable", the boy type is rare, and when they exist, a lot of them seem to be lesbian. Which I feel is really the crux of my problem, even more that my deficit in social skills.

CloudLayer
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04 Apr 2012, 12:49 pm

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Last edited by CloudLayer on 04 Apr 2012, 1:31 pm, edited 1 time in total.

CrazyStarlightRedux
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04 Apr 2012, 1:11 pm

Joker wrote:

I never take it as a insult for being called a "sweet guy" it's the female side of me that hates being called sweet when I am looking to date a guy I don't go for sweet guys I want a bad boy but I tend to put girl's in the friend zone for being sweet some times most of the time I date girl's that I am already close to.

Off Topic but I have seen you mention yourself as both a number of times...

Which are you, or is it complicated? :doh:

ValentineWiggin, you seem fine as you are, in fact, you sound like you have fun in a completely different way which makes you very interesting.

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The_Face_of_Boo
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05 Apr 2012, 8:24 am

Trigas wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

Ok guys, here some tips i learned to avoid to be viewed as 'sweet' and hence friendzoned:

1- Don't be too available: don't show up a lot to her, don't visit her daily, if you see her online go offline sometimes or just don't initiate conversation with her every time. Do not reply fast to her messages or texts.

2- Do not ever join any type of gossip talk with her and with her friends.

3- Sexual innuendos, use them in your humor.

4- Flirt with her.

5- Try to make her a bit jealous once in a while like "wow, that girl over there is really hot" , yea....TEASE her - it works. One time i kept my status 'busy' (and I was REALLY busy) not initiating anything with her and then after an hour she was like "so...with who you are busy all this time....busy with some girl?" - I was like "i wish it was the case" and then said "i might be now tho" and went not-replying for like 10minutes, she send me a text on the phone 'c'mon why aren't you replying? who's that girl taking your time?".

haha, when i said you should be a little ass, that what i mean.

Oh no

I couldn't do #5

that just wouldn't feel right.

You know what, I gave this its fair amount of thought whether it feels right or not, and came up to an opposite conclusion.

Despite its usual positive effect, don't do #5 - or at least keep it minimal and rare.

MXH
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05 Apr 2012, 8:37 am

but 5 is just a combo of 3 and 4.

The_Face_of_Boo
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05 Apr 2012, 8:43 am

MXH wrote:

but 5 is just a combo of 3 and 4.

I was more referring to the mentioning other girls part.

Trigas
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05 Apr 2012, 8:53 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

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MXH
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05 Apr 2012, 11:51 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

MXH wrote:

but 5 is just a combo of 3 and 4.

I was more referring to the mentioning other girls part.

I still fail to see the problem. All mentioning other girls does is vocally saying that you are looking for a girl. Its not playing with their heads, its not subliminal messages, etc. Now that being said it is something that can be overdone.

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