nice guys?

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HisDivineMajesty
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17 Jul 2012, 7:44 am

Kjas wrote:

They have two choices, either behave like a lady, in which case she will be treated like one, or take care of herself.

That's one more choice than men have.

Kjas
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17 Jul 2012, 7:51 am

HisDivineMajesty wrote:

Kjas wrote:

They have two choices, either behave like a lady, in which case she will be treated like one, or take care of herself.

That's one more choice than men have.

I never said they should have a choice - I don't think that there should be a choice.

However society created this mess, and society has to deal with it. The same structure that gave men no choice also at one time gave women no choice (ref: first part). Now they have a choice. Eventually they will not have a choice, as the latter will become necessity, as it should be.

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yellowtamarin
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17 Jul 2012, 8:22 am

I thought this thread was supposed to be about women sharing their experiences and describing what it is that they think they are attracted to in a guy (and therefore whether they believe they are attracted to nice guys or not). It looked a bit different to the other threads going around. But it seemed to get derailed somewhere on the first page and now we have missed out on a potentially interesting thread. Hrmm.

rosemund
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17 Jul 2012, 10:12 am

yellowtamarin wrote:

I've read all the posts in this thread, and it's now boiled down, to what it seems to inevitably boil down to on WP. Over generalizations, based on gender lines that can be blurry at best, and the protestations of self-labeled "nice guys" going off on tangents about how horrible women are to them.

Some of us women happen to like, and date, genuinely nice Men. We're not interested in constantly fighting or being protected or being put on a pedestal. We've also been duped by deceitful, manipulative individuals, often in the guise of "nice guys". No One should be mistreated by a person they consider a friend or lover, but it happens. Welcome to the real world, and rather than exhausting yourselves by pointing your fingers at us horrible women, maybe you should perform a little more self-analysis and figure out that possibly it's not the fact you're a "nice guy" that's getting you deprived of the love and affection you crave. Maybe it's because you're coming across as sanctimonious and a woman-hater (here at least).

Zinnel
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17 Jul 2012, 11:37 am

rosemund wrote:

yellowtamarin wrote:

I really do wish the whole "nice guy" thing wasn't so prevalent on WP but sense it seems to pop up in about every disscusion on here. I think that has to do wih the fact that often aspies trust people too much and too early, and when your young and other people are not sure about who they are or want they want this usualy leads to easily broken hearts.

There are women who feel themselves in the same position as the "nice guy" often seeing men as corrupt and manipulative and only wanting a "slut". For many of them(women and men) its like having a broken heart and the wound never heals, instead its constantly reopened by someone else or they themselves refuse to let it heal.

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spongy
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17 Jul 2012, 12:56 pm

Ive been meeting quite a lot of people lately.

Ive been taken advantage of by both genders repeatedly so my motto right now if is: "If it sounds too good to be true then it probably is".
I wont stop talking to someone who is being nice and overly polite without knowing them but most times someone acts this way they are doing their job(whatever it is) so I try to avoid getting attached to this people and Im quite cautious around them.
Havent had an issue since.

Theres a joke around here about people that try to seem a little too perfect that says that their flaws must be massive and they are afraid of showing them and Ive found that theres some truth to this(ie some of the nicest people you meet only show their good side until youve known them for a very long period...)

hyperlexian
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17 Jul 2012, 12:58 pm

AspieOtaku wrote:

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xfeys7Jfnx8&feature=related[/youtube] :lol:

i had actually purchased this song. my daughter introduced me to it. i listen to it whenever members complain of nice guys finishing last!! !

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AScomposer13413
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17 Jul 2012, 1:00 pm

AspieOtaku wrote:

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xfeys7Jfnx8&feature=related[/youtube] :lol:

LOL, gotta love nigahiga!!

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hyperlexian
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17 Jul 2012, 1:01 pm

HisDivineMajesty wrote:

Kjas wrote:

They have two choices, either behave like a lady, in which case she will be treated like one, or take care of herself.

That's one more choice than men have.

wrong. men have the same choice. some men like to be taken care of by a woman, or they stay at home with their parents.

(not the only reason men live at home obviously, but it is one reason some do)

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hyperlexian
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17 Jul 2012, 1:04 pm

spongy wrote:

sounds like you are getting very savvy!

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Shatbat
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17 Jul 2012, 1:25 pm

Quote:

Do I look fat in this dress?

Hell yeah you do

Moooooo

It hits a bit close home too, I remember I could be a bit of a jerk when I was sixteen and looking for answers.

Ok now to be more serious, I can't believe I leave for the weekend and this very interesting topic gets to 7 pages already! Not much I can contribute, really, just maybethis link to Cracked,behind the comedy it makes some good points.

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Zinnel
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17 Jul 2012, 1:38 pm

spongy wrote:

I have found most people including myself simply are nice when interacting with a stranger or someone we barely know. Plus very rarely are someones flaws on display. One of my friends biggest mistakes is the fact she believes she is best friends with someone within a day of knowing them and then is suddenly shocked to find out one of their flaws the next week.

spongy wrote:

(ie some of the nicest people you meet only show their good side until youve known them for a very long period...)

I've heard this before and normally I would agree with it. However, I've met quite alot of people who live by this ideology and have found a very eerie pattern amongst them. That is that alot of them get stuck in relationships waiting for the other persons "good side" to show.

So in my opinion people are not like walnuts, you shouldn't need to crack them open to get to the good parts.

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Kinme
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17 Jul 2012, 2:02 pm

What do I have to say? I'm the nicest nice guy... ever.

AScomposer13413
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17 Jul 2012, 2:06 pm

Kinme wrote:

What do I have to say? I'm the nicest nice guy... ever.

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Kinme
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17 Jul 2012, 2:08 pm

AScomposer13413 wrote:

Kinme wrote:

What do I have to say? I'm the nicest nice guy... ever.

I am too fancy-schmancy to even be commenting here. Oh, and I forgot that gender-wise I'm a chick. *Sigh*...

AScomposer13413
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17 Jul 2012, 2:11 pm

Kinme wrote:

AScomposer13413 wrote:

Kinme wrote:

What do I have to say? I'm the nicest nice guy... ever.

I am too fancy-schmancy to even be commenting here. Oh, and I forgot that gender-wise I'm a chick. *Sigh*...

Hey, it still has some value to it

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