What is the main reason why guys have to do the approaching?

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Absolutely.

That's why I read maybe a dozen books on it, amounting to something like 1400 pages, countless speeches, stuff on youtube, and then trained myself to see it in real life. This wasn't overnight, but it was possible. Be aware, I could not read a single thing until I did research (I am in my 30s), just like any other person with Asperger's.

So, you simply treat it like it was any sort of intellectual subject, from History to Genetics. Maybe as a better example, look at it like you're studying birds. They're both visual things you see in front of you. And, like something academic, what would you do? You'd catalog, memorize, recognize, and repeat. Over and over again. You don't even need to see the body language shown directly to you, just like a bird doesn't need to land on your finger for you to recognize it. You can see it in a couple, standing to the side of you on a subway. Or, in a park. I'm not saying to be creepy. You just see it, register it for what you've learned and move on. It happens in a flash of a second, anyway. IMO, with enough work, you spot body language, like you do with a bird.

Have some faith. IMO, the only problem with us is not that we have Asperger's. It's that it's not registered enough (especially in the past) and that there's not a standard "toolkit" for us to work with the rest of the world. We've all got enough brainpower to learn most anything. Had I been given an "Asperger's Toolkit" when I was a kid, I would have had this figured out in a few months and my life would have been completely different. There's still time!

i guess you are not on the spectrum then; one of the most common effects of autism is the inability to read body language, this means that, even *if* we see someone giving off subtle signals around us (and that's a big if), we wont be able to understand what they mean.

what do you mean there is still time?

There always is time. You have time until you take your last breath on this planet.

Never give up. Never surrender.

The type of guys I'm into are shy intellectuals so I have to do all the initiating. Don't mind this at all although occasionally i get knocked back. i wish more women would give it a try from time to time - it helps to be able to appreciate the male perspective.

So being direct with a shy guy works? Really?

Do you want to be my Sensei?

I could not guarantee that it would work in respect of each and every one of them - after all they have to like you too. I'm rubbish at reading men's flirting signals, so if I like what I see I just speculate and give it a go.

Trouble is these days finding these types of guys to approach in the first place. they used to be in such plentiful supply at university. On the online dating sites its mostly alphas or wannabe alphas which I find so off-putting.

Mmm, yes, probably THERE is my problem, I never waited any flirting signal, oops

Wannabe alphas are everywhere, surely it is because a lot of them don't want a relationship but flings, so they are always "single" and using dating sites.

what's your "success rate" when it comes to approaching men?

Success as in guy agrees to a date, well, in my estimation that would have been about 8 out of 10. I speak in the past tense as its been a while since i looked for dates offline.

I do remember some of the specific knock backs though - one guy just laughed in my face and said derisory things. Another guy just muttered abouse at me not just on that occasion he turned me down but on any subsequent occasion where i had the misfortune to walk by him. It sure is embarassing to be knocked back but its worth the risk. had 3 proper relationships due to doing this.