Racial perference is dumb

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sly279
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24 Nov 2014, 11:34 pm

Cafeaulait wrote:

Agreed with Boo. One of the most intelligent posts so far. Didn't know Boo had that much intellectual capacities.
And it has nothing to do with 'natural'. I don't have a preference and there is nothing 'unnatural' about that.

um you have said a few times you have a preference for intellectual/intelligent attractive men.
same as others preferences so sit on your imaginary high horse.

if you can't bring yourself to date someone you don't find attractive why should others have to do it?

I don't get how you condemn other's preferences while having your own. or is it cause you consider yourself a different ethnicity than them. and don't feel good that some people would chose to not date you based on that. well it hurts seeing you wouldn't date people like me cause you consider us non intellectual.

I am open and accepting that people think and feel differently and find themselves attractive to different types of people so unless they are like man that woman is hot and attractive as hell, too bad shes ____ I don't date them. then its not racist.

reality is most everyone has preferences of some kind. either they are all wrong or all are ok. you can't pick the ones that bother you and keep your own. same reason why women who find me ugly shouldn't have to date me.

sly279
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24 Nov 2014, 11:53 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

People who say "I don't date <race/color" always turn out to be somehow racists.

People who say "I don't date <religion/denomination>" always turn out to be indirect fanatics.

and so on...

This how they usually turn out to be.
Such ultimatum statements tell volumes about the person.

Gender doesn't count because sexual orientation is biologically encoded, however I think there's no genetic variation that makes one impossible to be attracted to other races/religions - this is purely influenced by conscious choice.

And no, it doesn't matter if they have friends of certain race/religion - I've personally encountered plenty of people who have outing friends/buddies of different religions but when you scratch them you find fanatics, they even think of them as inferior.

or there are significant differences in religion that would cause huge issues in the relationship? if say one or both sides feel the other will go to hell if they don't convert, or how to spend the holidays, what religion will you raise the children as. I am open to dating people from different religions, but having read some profiles and talked to some it just can't work out in most cases unless both don't take it serious.

I could not be with a muslim who do to her beliefs views herself lower then me and wears the cover all over her body except her eyes. I was brought up as a christian who raised by women to know women are equals.

then theres meal problems. jews can't eat pig. I love porkchops, bacon and other things. same as I couldn't really date a vegan or vegetarian

you need to understand there can be very real reasons for not dating types of people and rather then write you a book each time its easier to say you just don't date ____.

could you date someone who talks about god all the time, goes to church 3-4 times a week and all that is on their facebook is god this god that , praise god, etc. or would that get in way with your beliefs as an atheist?

Moviefan2k4
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25 Nov 2014, 12:09 am

Obviously, I can't speak for everyone...but it seems most people around the world feel more comfortable in intimate relationships with those of their own ethnicity. Honestly, I don't see a problem with that, nor do I take offense with those who choose differently.

My individual preferences have multiple aspects, the first being I've had several negative experiences around those with a darker skin tone. I don't despise them, and some have been nice to me...but many I've met appear to have a very big chip on their shoulder concerning "the white world". Its probably made me fairly paranoid, but my choice isn't born from hate. I think racism is stupid, but I don't see preferring someone who resembles yourself as inherently racist because there's no malice involved.

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ReticentJaeger
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25 Nov 2014, 12:13 am

sly279 wrote:

Cafeaulait wrote:

I'll probably get rocks thrown at me for this*, but I like some of the things Sly said here.

And I don't think all preferences are conscious. All I know is that I've only been seriously attracted to dorky (adorkable) guys of a certain race. Maybe that will change. I used to be absolutely obsessed with blue eyes, and I thought that was my main preference. That all disappeared when I met [insert crush's name here].

And I've never looked at a guy and thought, "He's [insert any race], so I'm not attracted to him."

*I needed an opportunity to use this picture again.

Cafeaulait
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25 Nov 2014, 2:02 am

sly279 wrote:

Cafeaulait wrote:

This post is filled with assumptions that you label as facts. I Do Not agree with you. I even find your line of reasoning so simplistic and on surface that it takes away my energy to analytically respond to your 'arguments'. I would type way to much as a response to something of very little intellectual value (to me, at least). Same as with other users here. Also your repeated one-liners which come down to 'why can't people date who they are attracted to' make no impression with me. To me it has nothing to do with 'not being allowed'. People can do what they want, and they will.

Goodbye, Sly.

The_Face_of_Boo
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25 Nov 2014, 2:49 am

Cafeaulait wrote:

Does that mean that I often sound dumb? :-/

Cafeaulait
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25 Nov 2014, 3:17 am

I was just kidding Honey Boo Boo :lol:
In general you offer people new perspectives and deliver unconventional but useful advice (though not always tacktful). You will be just fine

geometrictunneling
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25 Nov 2014, 4:28 am

Acknowledging the idea of race in any context is racism.

So let's just stop talking

sly279
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25 Nov 2014, 11:11 pm

Cafeaulait wrote:

sly279 wrote:

Cafeaulait wrote:

whatever be a hypocrite like many others just leave me and others alone.
thanks for saying talking to me is very little intellectual value. it seems you aren't the person I thought you were in which case don't want to take to someone who is so judgemental

its so funny that those people who complain about people being judgmental are often themselves judgmental.
why can't you just be like thats not my preference but live in let live. instead you call them dumb or liars or whatever mean thing you want.

I don't smoke, but I don't hate on smokers, i don't get abortions but i support others doing it. I don't like xbox but I don't troll xbox owners. I'd rather be kind and open minded than what you consider intelligent.

sly279
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25 Nov 2014, 11:14 pm

ReticentJaeger wrote:

sly279 wrote:

Cafeaulait wrote:

I'll probably get rocks thrown at me for this*, but I like some of the things Sly said here.

what bothers me is not that she disagrees with people's preferences but that she chooses to attack them by calling them stuff or saying they are just full of s**t and lying. until she can become then she won't ever be able to understand how their mind works. so she thinks I don't think that way so everyone else doesn't either.

preferences are preferences unless you turn to hatred towards a group of people. not being attracted to certain race isn't racism. it isn't wrong and people shouldn't be called names or made to fell like s**t any more then one should insult someone in a wheel chair for not walking.

sly279
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25 Nov 2014, 11:23 pm

geometrictunneling wrote:

Acknowledging the idea of race in any context is racism.

So let's just stop talking

so when theres a gentical increase chance of a disorder/health risk and the doctor brings it up they are racist?
what about the stats where it shows crime is higher for some races?
is the employment discrimination act racist?

"prejudice, discrimination, or antagonism directed against someone of a different race based on the belief that one's own race is superior."

so it's only if you think you are better then them based on their race.
so I don't see how not being attracted to a race based on experience(ie looking at them) is racism. and its not directed at them either as its just about who the person dates or doesn't date and not attacking the rejectee

The_Face_of_Boo
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26 Nov 2014, 4:52 am

sly279 wrote:

geometrictunneling wrote:

Acknowledging the idea of race in any context is racism.

So let's just stop talking

The higher crime rate in certain groups is often caused by a disadvantageous social/economical history (which is often caused by a history of racism) for that group.

Let me ask a question: If a perfect match in personality/interest/culturally-wise and even physically attractive to you in almost everywhere (shape-wise, face wtv..etc) asks you out, but turns out she's of a non-favorite race for you - would you reject her just because she's of that race?

Sweetleaf
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26 Nov 2014, 4:59 am

I have to admit when I was younger I kind of thought I did have that sort of preference, but don't really feel like that anymore. Anymore I just want to meet someone I get along very well with who would be interested in a relationship I don't care about their race...but yeah I will admit for a time going to far out of my own race seemed unappealing, don't really know why I am part Native but probably more white decent and admittedly lived in a lot of predominatly white areas so maybe it just wasn't something I felt used to.

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The_Face_of_Boo
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26 Nov 2014, 5:40 am

Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 26 Nov 2014, 5:42 am, edited 1 time in total.

The_Face_of_Boo
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26 Nov 2014, 5:41 am

Janissy wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

They can reject for whatever reason (ie. like "I never 't date Blacks!" / "I don't date Christians") but I would still see them as discriminatory people.

I had a short relation with a woman who dumped me the moment she knew I am atheist - because "she can't date non-muslims" (ie. and she isn't even a practicing muslim, she even did sexual activities), we were compatible in almost everything else.

Fine, I let it go the moment she did, but don't tell me that I shouldn't think of it a form of religious fanaticism and that's it is not incorrect or not narrow-minded, yes it is.

So yes, I feel it's incorrect to reject people as romantic potentials due to race/religion/appearance, at least me personally don't reject on this basis, but I am aware how socially accepted it is (and it's even encouraged and expected).

You previously compared it to employment (in which certain types of discrimination are not allowed, depending on a country's laws) but underestimating just how much is at stake for people who are looking for a long term relationship or marriage. Unlike an employer, a partner is somebody you will live with, have sex with, possibly have children with and make life decisions with. The only thing at stake in work is how well an employee can do a job. Employers aren't allowed (in the U.S., don't know about all country's laws) to discriminate about things that don't prevent somebody from doing a job. That's an important distinction. Employers are expected to discriminate based on things that negatively impact the job. Employers don't hire the blind to be pilots, the overweight to be horse race jockeys, the ugly to be fashion models etc. And that is how it should be. Discrimination becomes a bad thing when the factor under consideration doesn't impact the job.

So much more is at stake in relationships. I think that people should discriminate based on whatever factors are important to them. If somebody is compatible with you in every way except the one thing that is a deal breaker for them, then you aren't compatible. Employers are allowed to have deal breakers in the hiring process as long as those deal breakers would make it so the person couldn't do the job. If the person could do the job if given accomodations, then U.S. employers are required to give them accomodations (within limits that lawyers parse out). But should potential partners be socially pressured into making accomodations so that they aren't being discriminatory against people who have what would otherwise be deal breakers? (What would those accomodations even be? Going out with an atheist who promises to never get into a religious argument with you?) I say no. People should never be pressured into dating somebody they don't want to date. Discrimination is necessary when it comes to relationships. What that discrimination is based on is up to the individual. But everyone has deal breakers and those deal breakers are a necessary and perfectly ok form of discrimination.

And discrimination also becomes a bad thing when it becomes very common among a certain population, why else 70% of black women in US are single? Obviously other races don't prefer them, and black seem don't prefer them much either, can't you see they are disadvantaged big time in dating?

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26 Nov 2014, 6:51 am

Boo: A lot of black men are single, too, though. There's a whole history behind why that is, and it's more or less directly tied to the history of our welfare system. It's not about discrimination but rather an "unintended consequence" of how discrimination was poorly handled.

Housing projects were started during the Great Depression to handle the influx of homeless people. Back then there were probably more whites than blacks living there. Between FDR's alphabet soup programs and WWII, most whites got jobs and started moving out the suburbs--and "white flight" continues to be a constant headache for underprivileged school districts, I might add. For various reasons, partially due to civil rights problems, blacks were left behind in these urban projects.

Eligibility for cheap projects and welfare benefits required that the occupants be single mothers. For a while, black families stayed together. What happened was social workers would start making the rounds, and if they found a man living there they'd kick the whole family out. So they had to watch out for social workers and the man would either have to hide or head out the fire escape. Over time, they went from the husband having to make other sleeping arrangements to the husband being absent entirely. Eventually they just stopped bothering with even getting married.

Fast forward a few decades.

A subset of the black population has become enslaved to a system that was never meant to be a permanent solution. There are women who grow up thinking their job is to have babies, and they are taught at an early age and are either encouraged to become sexually active early or they are victims of sexual abuse. It's a public secret…a lot of times the fathers are uncles or cousins. Nobody talks about it because they don't want family getting arrested. They are also taught that if they go to college and focus on career ahead of having more babies for an aunt or grandmother to take care of that they are traitors, and it's not uncommon for their families to disown them for that.

It has created a unique sub-culture, the worst examples of which are glorified in the media. Just watch the Maury show. He always starts his show with something that starts out mildly scandalous but relatively innocuous, like "I'm 19 married to a 47 year old." This quickly gets derailed when he does a "reveal" and shows her husband is not the father of their baby. That's usually the opening white trailer trash segment, and it just disintegrates from there. The rest of the show is a bunch of black women screaming at each other. Seriously, you could make a drinking game out of "she got his nose! He de daddy!" when they show photos of the baby. Double-shots every time he's NOT the daddy.

Granted, most of this is just acting for the camera. I get that. I'm aware they're picking the worst of the worst for the show and probably even coach them a little bit ahead of time. But I'm also aware that for a lot of these drama-mamas this is every-day life. I've witnessed it first hand. When I was still teaching in public school I once had a teen mom AND her baby-daddy take my music appreciation class. They got in a fight, dropped a few f-bombs, and the rest of the class started chanting "Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!" (i.e. Jerry Springer Show). I mean, complete with her saying "You ain't no daddy, you just a sperm donor."

You want to know why so many black women are single? Look "how dey ack" and it won't take long for you to figure it out.

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