Hardest thing for you related to relationships

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yellowtamarin
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26 Nov 2014, 6:31 pm

Cafeaulait wrote:

What makes a girl girlfriend material?

There's at least one person with whom she could be in a functional relationship.

IKnowWhoIAmNow
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26 Nov 2014, 7:45 pm

Cafeaulait wrote:

What makes a girl girlfriend material?

Depends on the guy. For me, it would be:

*Emotionally simple and uncomplicated (not all Aspie women are; my recent romantic liaison failed because the lady in question was more like an NT in terms of emotional behaviours; we just couldn't communicate romantically even though we were good at the "friends" side of it).
*Is brainy enough to talk clever stuff with me
*Has a kind, compassionate nature
*Lives near enough to me that we can meet regularly
*Would be interested in me in the first place

And most difficult of all...

*I know that she exists, in order to approach her (or vice-versa)

YYMV

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sly279
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27 Nov 2014, 3:31 am

Cafeaulait wrote:

What makes a girl girlfriend material?

I imagine it varries person to person.

these are probably general amongst most people
shared interests
able to get along
mutual attraction

I value playfulness, interest in nerd topics, ok with guns, likes outdoors, more dependent then independent. loves cuddling/touching/ more emotional than logic based but not too far to it.

Brung
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27 Nov 2014, 1:20 pm

Cafeaulait wrote:

What makes a girl girlfriend material?

She's humble, doesn't need constant validation from many guys to give her a sense of self-worth. She says what she means and means what she says. She knows she's truly beautiful because she's true to herself, flaws and all. She laughs at her guys dumb jokes not because they're necessarily funny, but because she cares about you. She makes you feel that you're the only man that matters... Or something like that.

WantToHaveALife
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27 Nov 2014, 2:12 pm

if only being the initiator was natural common sense for me

em_tsuj
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30 Nov 2014, 8:40 pm

Cafeaulait wrote:

What makes a girl girlfriend material?

A girlfriend is a women who I am attracted AND I can be close friends with. If our personalities are not compatible, then we are not going to be able to have a functional relationship.

hurtloam
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03 Dec 2014, 7:37 am

em_tsuj wrote:

Cafeaulait wrote:

What makes a girl girlfriend material?

A girlfriend is a women who I am attracted AND I can be close friends with. If our personalities are not compatible, then we are not going to be able to have a functional relationship.

Never was a truer thing said.

Brung
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03 Dec 2014, 8:27 am

CynicalWaffle wrote:

smudge wrote:

Vomelche wrote:

Quote:

You are right about that. I usually don't judge very quickly but I often get turned off by the guy because he later seems to lack that intellectual mindset. The hunger for wisdom. Plenty of intelligent guys turn me off as well, because they might be smart on paper but they lack an intellectual, thoughtful, curious mindset and assume that 'it's okay because that's just the way it is'. No, it's not. And if a guys stops thinking there, the dating stops there. I am not interested in arguing with someone with a 'it's just the way it is' or 'it's normal so it's okay' or 'everyone does it so I'm right' kind of mindset. Those men exhaust me and can't satisfy my cognitive needs.

That is true. We also have the tendency to go into too much detail on things. This does not necessarily mean we are more intellectual, just that we like to dig deep and mine data on a particular subject.

I am exactly the same. I can't stand the, "It's a fact and no debating needed" crap. The "intellectuals" can have this massive insecurity about being wrong, and it makes them incredibly rigid and close-minded.

I'll add to that that I hate it even more when a man will change his opinion to fit mine. It is a pet hate of mine and it happens all the time. I really, really can't stand it. I can see when it's happening because it's obvious.

Okay, so if a man decides his opinion is right, and doesn't wanna debate it, he's wrong.

But if a man argues with you and changes his opinion because he saw that maybe it was more reasonable, he's still wrong?

Sounds legit, brosephine. :wink:

But anyway, I don't have a hard time with relationships because I find them to be worthless. Anything past a professional relationship is just asking for trouble. I feel bad for people who can't shut their hearts (or their reproductive organs) off and just be themselves without any inhibitions. I may be hated, but that means I can freely express my opinions and do whatever I want. Being single is the icing on the cake because I don't have to answer to anybody.

Really? Relationships are worthless? Then why are you here... Relating to others if relationships are worthless? Are these people your co-workers? Please explain, I'm genuinely curious. :?:

mpe
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09 Dec 2014, 3:29 pm

alex wrote:

What's the hardest thing for you in regards to relationships and why?

Is it getting one?

Definitly.

Quote:

Meeting the right person?

Very much so. Since about the only people who tend to show much interest in me that way tend to also be strongly monogamous.

Quote:

If you could get better at one thing, what would it be? Getting a date? Getting a second date? Getting a girlfriend/boyfriend? Keeping one?

Being able to meet, in person, some poly people who liked me would be nice.

mpe
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09 Dec 2014, 3:39 pm

sly279 wrote:

I see a lot of women on dating sites with kids that say similar about kid already has a dad etc. I just didn't understand what they were seeking.

One thing I have noticed is that it's not uncommon for such women to say more about their kids than themselves.

Though brief/absent profiles are a bugbear of mine. Especially when someone puts up a gallary of photographs, but apparently can't be bothered to write a few paragraphs.

King_oni
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09 Dec 2014, 4:01 pm

mpe wrote:

Though brief/absent profiles are a bugbear of mine. Especially when someone puts up a gallary of photographs, but apparently can't be bothered to write a few paragraphs.

Oh, this annoys me as well.

I don't have that many issues to send someone a message based on what I read in their profile, but really, if it's a short profile... give me something to work with!

Unless of course, the main audience you want to attract are guys who judge on your pictures and nothing else. And in that case I think we're not compatible anyway.

The_Face_of_Boo
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09 Dec 2014, 4:10 pm

Quote:

Hardest Thing For You Related To Relationships

My cock when erected.

VegetableMan
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09 Dec 2014, 4:22 pm

When someone constantly berates me for all my quirks and oddities. That kind of crap really saps your strength, after awhile. Boy, am I glad that one didn't work out.

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B19
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09 Dec 2014, 4:44 pm

People who don't mean what they say, and who don't say what they mean. Mindf..k.rs.

Bomir
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09 Dec 2014, 5:45 pm

The major complaint I get/see is that because I always think everything out and size up situations very quickly I typically come up with the right answer on what should be done. I don't have the emotional investment in my moment to moment decisions that my mates often do. Although, I try never to say, "I told you so," or the like they know that I was right and after a while the people I date get tired of always being the one in error looking like a fool and a resentment grows. If I try to anticipate this and lie and agree with them they see right through it which just causes more problems. I can imagine it's very frustrating to be in their position.

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