I don't want to grow old

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I don't have a problem getting laid if I want to, mainly because I'm gay, decent looking and let others make the first move. My sexuality evolves mainly around making myself an object. I don't even mind this. I like being an object and satisfying other guys. In my active life I'm always mentally forceful and dominant but I compensate for it in my sex life by being almost (or not almost) pervertedly submissive.

I don't see how my sexual identity can mix well with aging. An alpha male is always an alpha male but when I think of older men with submissive gay tendencies I think of a married 50 year old father who work as a CEO or high profile politician, who in secret hire 19-year old male prostitutes from ethnic minorities to have them f**k him in the ass. Those men disgust me, I could never respect myself while being so old and ugly and acting out my sexual desires that way. I at least want to give something attractive to the other part and not be an ugly, self hating old man with messed up self image.

My sexual identity and who I am in my mind will always be a slim, boyish looking young man. I'm 25 but like many aspies I look younger and could be anything between 18 and my actual age. However aging will inevitably occur more visibly. Even though I'm the type who will probably just look more and more like a worn out boy the older I get and might be able to pass through my 30's gracefully and with the right attitude thanks to this, I will look middle-aged one day. I have this horrible vision of myself as a mix between a skinny, Mr.Burns-like jewelry dealer and a russian yakuza-wannabe with long grey hair, a ducklike fish mouth which looks like I swallowed a lemon, sharp, deep seated neurotic hawk eyes and a high cheekbone face with no flesh on it. Even if I would never dress like that I even picture myself in an oversized coat and an ascot-like silk scarf.
I can honestly never see a man like that bending over and recieving it both ways. If I'm not dead before 50, I might consider chemical castration to keep my dignity and learn to live with an aged self image.

As it is now, I see no problem in being a submissive pervert and loving myself at the same time. My mental image of myself is in sync with reality at the moment. I am pretty much who I feel I am mentally.

should this not be in the adult section?

Many aspies look younger than their actual age. When I mentioned to my kidney Dr recently that I thought I was peri-menopausal he was shocked because he assumed I was in my mid thirties by my appearance. I saw a thread awhile back where many other aspies said they looked young for their age.

Keeping yourself in shape and using a sunblock when you go outside will help with your appearance, as will not smoking. I was friends with a gay guy in high school who told me my current boyfriend could never make it as a gay man because he was plump (what I call teddy-bearish) and "men know what they're looking at" . So being gay might prompt you to stay in shape anyway, I dunno.

well i wasn't "offended" etc lol was just a little surprising & perhaps sexually oriented, but hey this is "love&dating"
i applaud your honesty. i don't know that i could help unfortunately, but i'm very inexperienced anyway.

I can relate to the OP. I am faced with both aging issues, and always looking 20 years younger than I really am. I am not very active sexually, but I do like being admired and envied, sometimes. I, too, don't want to lose my dignity. Society is not kind to aging women. And I am guessing from what the OP wrote, towards aging gay males, either. Just saw the movie "Mysterious Skin," so I understand. I envy those cultures where the people put the aging relatives out on the ice when they stop being useful. It's kinder. At least to me.

You don't want to grow old?

...Well, uh... that's kinda tough, really, because everyone does unless you want to kill yourself at 30.

Surgey won't help either, because the more you get, the more of a freak you'll look. Just try to age gracefully and make the best of yourself.

your thinking in terms of current technology, maybe by the time we're old full body transplants will be an option

Cloning vegetable bodies to transplant into, ethically debatable but hardly a sin against nature.

I have actually considered killing myself at 30 mainly because of fear of growing old. If I didn't age I would be beyond happy with my life even with my current life situation.

I am also scared also. Things have already been crap, now I will have to face being older. Many NTs have already given up finding love, what am I suppose to do. I will have to consider suicide a bit earlier then I expect.

Suicide is the epitome of selfishness. If you guys want to live a happy life, you need to stop feeling sorry for yourself. Learn to not let anybody's opinions influence you in any way. With that kind of attitude, things will automatically start happening.

The way I see it, virtually anyone ,with their greater wisdom and inner strength, can get through this horrible feeling that is equal to having a relationship breakup that never ends. I must either be narrow minded, missing the point of happiness. Or illogic and too weak to fight, weaker then the average person.

I just don’t see this level of strength in others, those around me. If I was single because I was very overweight, I would train like an athlete on steroids, do as much research as possible and put my heart into it losing weight watching each mouthful of food. Things are not so simple if you have aspergers, but I still fight on.

This is going to go against the common opinion on this thread, and possibly the society at large at well, but if anything, I'm actually looking forward to getting old. The NT society is quite forgiving of old people's actions. While people may gang up on a twenty-something or a thirty-something who commits a social faux pas, they'll look the other way if a senior citizen does that. Also, you get plenty of senior citizen benefits (not so with Social Security, at least not for Generation X and Generation Y). Most importantly, the aspie traits considered "annoying" or "creepy" in a young or middle-aged person are dismissed as something that comes with old age when you reach retirement. So in the end, by growing old, I have very little to lose and a lot to gain.