Serious Error in Judgment

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For the longest time, I had insisted that Aspies "do not lie or cheat", which was the basis for limiting myself to those on the spectrum when it comes to dating.

But I feel like I need to admit to having been deceived and manipulated by someone on the spectrum who I tried to pursue for nearly 2 years. I do not want to go into detail about this, because I feel like I have talked about it enough on here.

I also need to admit that I have not been honest about myself either. For the past few months, I have been honest about being politically conservative. But for the roughly 3 years before then, I had said that I was liberal, because it appeared that nearly everybody who liked the things I liked was liberal, and I was saying I was liberal to enter their good graces, as there were no conservative female Aspies with the same interests as me. The truth is that I have always been conservative, since I was a child and looking up to then-presidents Ronald Reagan and George H.W. Bush.

The real reason I limited myself to other Aspies: because of my school-related economic situation, and my physical appearance, which have put me in the "not good enough for an NT" camp, thus, giving me the impression that only a fellow Aspie would accept the real me.

So you were never a liberal and you had fooled yourself into thinking you were, right?

That is correct.

Since I'm relatively new on WP, I haven't noticed your change in political orientation. As an Aspie, I have lied and cheated, mostly in a highly calculated way designed to gain me some practical, important benefit (usually involving something I want to avoid).

Richard Feynmann once said that each person can most easily fool him/herself. Psychologists and psychiatrist would probably agree. I had a family member recently become enraged at me because of something I said, which she took to be a lie, and then was told never to lie. So during the rest of the conversation I followed her instruction, upsetting her to the point that we didn't speak for a month.

I have no idea what the political orientation of WP members is. I haven't noticed a pattern yet, but maybe one was evident last fall. I don't mind liberals or conservatives, as long as they stick to facts and not just trumpet ideology. I disagree/agree with Dems and the GOP about as often. And I rarely vote, since figuring out which candidate I prefer is an arduous task too daunting in most cases.

I can understand lying about politics to fit in. People get way too riled up about that anyway.

But thinking you can only catch other aspies? I don't know what you mean by "economic reasons" but there's sure as heck no reason to say that you're not cute enough for an NT. You make it sound like aspies are all desperate folk who can only catch the scraps, if you know what I mean.

Actually, I'm kind of amazed you've known enough aspies to 'limit your dating' to them. I've only ever known three others my whole life, and I'm related to one of them.

The majority of people on here tend to be liberal, and conservative people are often attacked by them.

There are a few general truths in life, one of them being "people lie". Aspies don't tend to tell white lies, because they don't understand why they need to in most circumstances, but when it comes to real lies, aspies are just as bad as the rest of the human race.

I'd suggest you don't place anything expectations on people, just meet a variety of people and maybe you'll like one of them.

Hey Tim;

Coming from someone who's been a little bit overly self judgmental, according to friends and wife;
ease up on yourself mate, forgive yourself and let it go, you'll be okay.

Yeah, waaaaaaay easier said than done! Trust me, I know that all too well!

Like Kathy says to me, "Welcome to the human experience dear, you're one of us after all"

I would like to be good enough for an NT one of these days, but there's no way that I can fit into their social norms at this time.

Perhaps you misinterpreted the person you were pursuing?

I think aspies are capable of lying much worse than NT's. If there is no empathy then the lies can be very hurtful. NT's lie for more sensible reasons than aspies tend to lie about.

I always knew there was something wrong with you....

Psh Shades, there's always at least one thing wrong with every one of us . Can't be perfect ~

About the lying...everyone does it, it's just that some do it more than others. About the political part, I have read some of your posts, and it seems that you are fixated on this, and keep obsessing about it. My suggestion would be to to concentrate on finding someone that you are compatible with personality wise, rather than what their political backround is.

Most of the people who have the same interests as me tend to fit the definition of an "artsy hipster", and I don't identify myself as one, and they only associate with people within their little clique. Most of the liberal people with the same interests are left-wing radicals who wear Che Guevara T-shirts and refuse to associate with Christians or conservatives because they think that they are all bigots who are stuck in the Dark ages.

When I focus on Christians, or conservative people, I often end up with right-wing fundamentalists who think my interests are evil.