Is settling pointless given the consequences?

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After reading a post on here about a guy who settled and is now fixated on the girl he settled for and from my own experience not really settling for a girl but falling for a girl that I wasn't really attracted to as a person, I'm starting to wonder if I should stay away from women unless it's the real deal.

My experience is a little different than the other guy's. I liked her appearance. We met online and hit it off online and the first couple dates. It was clear after a few dates that we didn't have a lot in common and disagreed a lot. She noticed this and I didn't at the time because I just wanted a good looking girlfriend so bad and she ended it. Then like the other guy I started to like her more (or thought I did.) Eventually I came to my senses and broke off all contact even as friends, but after reading the other guy's post, I'm starting to wonder if this is a common thing for late bloomers...to project their feelings of wanting a signficant other onto any woman that comes along even if she's clearly wrong for them?

Please don't develop this attitude in women in general I don't think it's healthy nor so much truth. We all get hurt and emotional by rejections. I had so many guys teasing me that it I really felt like the majority of men were out to make my life a living hell. The desire is so great that feelings come into place thus exchanging an imbalance of chemistry between you and that said person. Do not think for one instant that person represents only your source of love and desire. But that is your choice.

I believe love on the desires part will require some tactic in processing the suspension of disbelief and also into noting where boundaries and compromises must behave in order to work.

She saw that you didn't have a lot in common and disagreed a lot. You just wanted a good looking girlfriend. She ended it because she had more experience and recognized the problem sooner. Or is it precisely because she has more experience, and probably more opportunities, that she's quicker to dismiss when imperfections are seen?

Relationships end sometimes simply because of a difference in how much the people involved want it. Too much imbalance can be just as uncomfortable for the person who wants it more as it is for the person who wants it less. A developing imbalance in wanting might be a symptom of some other problem, but it can also be a problem all by itself. Is this why especially guys have to act "cool" and not get too excited too quickly?

Dan Savage says that "settling down" is inevitably and act of "settling for" no matter who you choose. The "price of admission" for all relationships is tolerating each others' imperfections, and we all have them, believe it or not.

In my experience, and it's just my experience, it's only the first one that is so hard to get over. I have a hard time telling the difference but I have a feeling it's an ASD/OCD thing more than actual emotional attachment. The ones that follow do not hurt the same so far anyway, in fact it's like water off a duck's back strangely.

Every relationship is a learning experience. Bad relationships teach you as much as good relationships. You learned that a relationship is not possible with somebody you do not like, regardless of what she looks like. She learned that men who are interested in her only because of her looks are to be avoided. You both got schooled.

Maybe she ended it because she realized this was a man who disliked everything about her but her looks. That's an imperfection that nobody should reconcile themselves to.

Similarly, I've been wary of women who wanted to know my job situation and not wanting to know anything else about me, or wanting to know "where I'm going" with employment, job titles, benefits etc. but not knowing or caring about sharing the motivation behind why I'm doing what I'm doing, or even what I did. This, too, is something nobody should have to reconcile themselves to.

OK, so the problem is that a relationship can't work if the other person just wants "one thing".

Absolutely! If either person, male or female, is just looking for one thing (looks? money? ) it just won't work. How could it? You are so much more than your wallet. A pretty woman is so much more than her looks. The only person who ouught to look only at your financial information when meeting is whoever you hired to do your taxes.

Awesome. I can't wait for this.

Also, the OP is talking about me, obviously. While the girl I'm talking was below my standards for dating, she wasn't below my threshold for physical attraction. Regardless, I think your assessment is largely correct. I don't know what to think about settling now. Initially, after getting rejected by her, I thought she may have been out of my league and this really set me up for an extremely depressive cycle. Meeting other girls in far away places caused me to reject that hypothesis, though.