university student, single and strange?

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Hey everyone,

I recently joined this site and have spent some time reading through the forums - especially this one.
Here's a little background information :
I am 23 and a postgrad at my university, sutdying aerospace engineering (a course dominated by men and only 6 or 7 women in the entire department!)

Because of AS I find it annoying to have to sit through banal chatting. For this reason I am most normally sitting in a conversation for about 10 minutes and then get up and leave to go and work on some project.

Now, I have had a girlfriend before but quickly found that she annoyed me, more than I enjoyed to spend time with her, I couldn't STAND it that she took all of my free time and even some time I had set aside for weekend working in the laboratory, she would always want me to spend all the time with her.
Any way, that relationship was over probably 3 years ago and since then I have been single and it hasn't affected me. I have been perfectly happy to be by myself.

I have only only 4 close friends who know I have AS, and 2 of them are girls. I feel I am able to determine if someone likes me, but due to my commitment to my work, I don't often go out - at least to places where I would like to meet someone (for example, i do NOT like going to clubs or busy bars)

Now, I have been very close with one of my girl friends. Last year we spent probably the best part of 6 months working together for 8 hours a day and many weekends we would go out together to relax and discuss the project.
She has now a boyfriend and has been with him for about 4 months. In spite of all of this, we spend a LOT of time together including dinners in restaurants and movies as just the two of us.

Can someone please help me decipher what is going on here?
We are different religions and we are both quite conservative and so I know that I can't date her.
Is she just seeing me still as a friend or is she interested in me? I am fighting every time we go out not to say anything about how I feel towards her. I am scared that no girl I meet will ever match up to how I feel towards my friend.

Am I gonna end up 30, single and alone?
Thanks

You need to talk to your friend.

^^ Yaye greetings aero_fan and a great welcome to you. I am very sorry indeed as I am not very skilled in such situations, however perhaps may you see if your lady friend is happy in her current situation? ^^ If so, I believe it may be perhaps best not to express your feelings towards her as perhaps she may become a little worried (if they are perhaps romantic feelings I believe). If the lady express that she possesses romantic feelings towards you or if the lady ends her relationship then perhaps this may be nice for you to do so.

^^ Also, I believe there is happily great difficult in predicting if you shall be alone at thirty years old. I must say I find the concept of taking part within a relationship very difficult for me, and am very happy in my current situation in not being so.

I am very sorry if I am not of help for you. I wish you well.

I've been to the cinema alone with male friends, even when going out with someone else. I like those people as friends and nothing more and would never cheat on anyone. There is a chance that your friend is the same.

I can think of a few pitfalls you need to watch out for;

1. careful her bf doesn't become jealous of you. That should really be up to her to sort out, but still, there's no harm in being a little more distant than usual when you meet up with the pair of them together.

2. if you find your feelings are getting too strong, then be careful; if you blurt them out, you risk making the friendship very awkward if the feeling isn't mutual.

3. If you tell her how you feel, whilst she's still going out with someone else, and she agrees to go out with you, then you might always worry that she'll do the same thing whilst she is going out with you.

4. You say that because of religion, you guys are not compatable. If that is a definite thing for you, then don't worry about whether she fancies you or not. Perhaps she does, but she has also chosen not to act on it too, so there is nothing for you to worry about.

Don't worry about not finding a girl like her; there will be others, and whilst a great friend, she may not actually be a good romantic match for you either. My advice would be to keep things platonic; good friends are hard to come by.

Lene - That makes perfect sense. I know in NO way can I ever end up with her, and so I've just got to make sure that I don't make her break up with her boyfriend who she very much likes. I like him too - he is a great guy and I'm happy that she is happy When he is around I do tend to be more aloof since I don't like to spend too much time with him. He is nice and everything, but I just don't feel ok around him.

I understand what you say about good friends being hard to come by, I mean, she is one of the VERY few people who I feel comfortable enough around to just sit there and listen to her talk even if it is something I'm not too interested in

I guess these feelings are coming up since my parents have both been getting on my back to go out more since I restarted university and kind of reclused into my office a bit.

Thanks for all the help