Hello All
I am glad to have stumbled on this website. I am a week-old self-diagnosed asperger 24 years old man. I always thought I was different than my friends, but never questioned why, this had led me to develop a very strong personality while being very independent and with a lot of ambition. I am currently a PhD student in engineering and I am near completion.
As far as my dating is concerned, I have never had any girlfriend per se but have dated quite a handful of woman/girls. The reason why it always failed was that each time, I got way too emotionally involved and would get attached too fast, then to realize that it was simply a crush.
I met this girl at university who is very beautiful, takes a lot of care of herself and seemed at first sight not really fitting in her setting. She also a top class undergrad engineer. Initially I thought that she was cool. The first date went really well, she was a bit nervous. The second date was also good. I noticed directly that she did not have the feminine side that I had encountered in previous experience despite the fact that she looked stunning. I noticed many details: I touched her hand by mistake, she retracted them so quickly as if I had pinched her. She has a bizarre taste in food (doesn’t eat anything that is fancy) she kisses so smoothly and is physically sensitive. She obsesses about going to the beach .( like every day for 3 month) . Sometimes she stares for no reason.
She has contradicting group of friends. Like a chameleon. Goes out to nightclubs but seems unconfortable and not enjoying her time. ( saw it and got told about it)
While also she has a geek side.
She told me she has had some experience in dating and that she saw the world idealisticly till the age of 16. I am quite sure that she got hurt many times.
I ended the dating because i was not feeling comfortable with her. I basically broke her heart because I thought she was not interested anymore from reading her facial expressions. That is one of my As trait very honest and brutally direct. Since we both were attached, we both went into a 1 month of depression. She is leaving the country soon.
My question is the following, I know that she has many AS traits and seems a person with no real identity low self-esteem and always in her circle of friends. Should I meet with her and tell her about the posibility of her having a mild syndrome ?.
Or I can do it indirectly and tell her about my life, how i was when i was younger, and decided to take the independance path instead of conforming ? And then she could maybe on her own find about it and start questioning herself.
Or I just leave it as it is and let her continue her life. Maybe she is still just young.
thank you all
some more info : She lives in a country where appearances are very important and social pressure is very big. ( social life = good no social life= bad)
Last edited by Stseiya on 12 Dec 2009, 11:04 pm, edited 1 time in total.
12 Dec 2009, 10:56 pm
