Have I got a chance at getting a girl friend??

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I know it sounds very negative and it is. Only cos this is really bothering me.

I am really very worried that I'll never find a girlfriend. I've signed up on a dating site "Plenty of Fish", I look at all those profiles and think I have no chance. I get vey depressed over this.

In my school days all the girls hated me, I never had a chance back then to make girlfriends. Now that I'm trying to find a girlfriend, those school memories are affecting my confidence with finding a girl.

Please help folks, this is really depressing me big time.

What are your strengths?

Just kidding. (or am I?) I don't really know what to say but I hate to see a lonely post, so here it goes: Buy some new clothes, get a hair cut (When my boyfriend's hair starts to grow out, I get really disgusted, I don't know why) and stop thinking about whether or not you're good enough to get a girl friend. There are so many lonely rejected women out there... YOU ASPIE GUYS ARE DRIVING ME CRAZY WITH THIS... Ahem,

Good luck!

Where are they? I don't see any of them around, let alone looking like they want to talk to me...

I don't know, maybe it was just me...A girl who feels rejected is not going to be walking around chatting up random guys. She might even push you away or look unapproachable. I mean don't be a stalker about it, but don't be so worried about your own ego if you really want a girlfriend. You're going to have to start trying to pay more attention to what the girl might be thinking and feeling, rather than focusing on all of your own fears.

I didn't encourage my current boyfriend at all. I made rude comments at his jokes because I didn't trust his intentions. I thought he was just going to use me, so I tried to push him away, but when he kept trying, I knew I could trust him... He's kind of like Winnie the Pooh though; really sweet and he likes himself, in fact he's been known to say "I Loooooove myself"... He's weird.

Then go find them, ToadOfSteel - waiting for the world to come you leads nowhere fast. And what you define as 'looking like they want to talk to me'? I've learned that I can't trust my impressions of what people are thinking or wanting; the only solution for me is to ask.


M.

Why would you not have a chance?

I perfectly understand how you feel man, I've been there. I remember how girls in both middle school and high school always rejected me, and it really does affect you, more so than people give credit (they usually just dismiss as nothing).

But I'm going to tell you this, you are NOT going to get a girlfriend through the Internet. How do I know? Well because I've been down that road before, paying for online match-making services, and not a single girl giving me any notice. It is an exercise in futility, and I'm sure most guys on this forum will tell you the exact thing. Plenty of Fish, although free, is just another example of the futility of finding women on the Internet. I used to be on there as well, and with no success either.

Now I know some people will tell you stories about finding romance online, but they are very very few and far between.

The only real way you're going to meet and attract women is to go to places where women hang out, like bookstores, restaurants, cafe's, stores, etc. There is a book that you need to read, and it will help you out a lot. It certainly opened my eyes up a lot, and gave me a better understanding of women than I had previously. The book is "The Mystery Method: How to get beautiful women into bed by Mystery".

Yes, I know the title sounds seedy and demeaning to women. However, only the 1/3 of the book deals with getting women into bed, the first 2/3 of the book is how to attract women and build comfort with them, which I am going to use. It involves clever manipulation, and some might consider it unethical. tell me, what is worse, attracting women and getting them interested you, or spending your life alone and miserable?

But I HIGHLY suggest this book for you, and I think it will change your perspective a lot and give you hope. Good luck mate!

That's awesome

I thought I would mention something else. If you guys need practice relating to women, try doing chivalrous things for strangers when you're out in public. Just simple things like opening the door to a store or restaurant. I'm not saying you'll meet one of these women and get them into bed, but you'll at least get a positive reaction that might help build your confidence.... I don't know, but when a stranger goes out of his way to hold a door for me, I think it's really sweet...

You know, I have no qualms about doing polite things, like holding doors open for people. However I must note that while doing small favors of kindness, like opening doors for people, is socially acceptable, one (and I use one in the masculine sense), should not get too caught up in doing chivalrous actions all the time.

Why? Because people can take advantage of your good nature if you're not careful. Especially concerning women and relationships. If you show a woman that you're attracted to that you are easily manipulated, she won't respect you and her opinion of you will considerably drop. Women like guys who are individuals, and can hold their own. Chivalry in small doses is acceptable, but when you do it to the point where people can take advantage of you, it becomes a burden and a detriment.

I guess I just think you guys are overanalyzing the issue. It's the simple things - and the balance between doting and being strong....(Like you said here ^)

To be honest, I do simple things like that all the time. And not just for women, either... I hold the door for anybody, it's the right thing to do. It's so habitual that I don't even think about it anymore, I just do it.

In all cases however, we just exchange a single greeting and we go our separate ways. A couple minutes after the fact, I've not only forgotten the other person involved in the encounter, but also that an encounter even took place...

Yeah, I know. It was dumb to mention.... but not all men do that. Anyway, I'm not trying to take over this thread, because I am certainly not an expert.

What I'm saying is that if I even so much as approach a woman that doesn't want me around (and there's a lot of them that are), I, as a man who is already predisposed to being seen as creepy will instantly cross the line into full creep

Yes, that seems to be one of the real differences between men and women. Very few women will ever get so desperate that they would (literally or metaphorically) stand along a busy street holding up a sign saying "f**k me" or "looking for boyfriend". There are plenty of guys who at least figuratively get to that point, though.

Sometimes this makes me want to tell all the women in the world how easy they have it, that they will never know rejection like some of us guys have experienced. Though I'm beginning to think that may not be the case, that while this is true, on the other hand maybe it's a lot easier for us guys to get respect.

Well, for the guys I dated...the majority of them I asked out, not the other way around.

The easier approach is looking on it as a possible friendship, and that you are asking the potential friend to a movie or for a coffee, or a bike ride.

I wish I would take my own advice though, because it is easier said than done.