The dreams make it hurt more

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For the past three or four nights, I've dreamt about the girl I like.

I mean, I saw her at the beginning of this week and I said hi and she said hi and she was staring at me just like the time when she pushed her ex out of the way to hug me.

And then I wanted to say hi to her yesterday and she saw me coming down the hall and then she turned her back to talk to this other kid, and right when I said hi she started talking and I don't know if she didn't hear me over herself or if she was ignoring me but I felt ignored. It might be because she's mad at me because I haven't gone up to the office to say hi to her in a while because I keep running out of things to talk about and then awkward silence kind of happens. I don't even know that I mean that much to her, how could I know other than the look she gave me.

I want her so bad but I don't have any idea what to do. It almost made me cry yesterday after she ignored me and the day already wasn't going well.

Okay, I'm going to ask you a blunt and potentially rude question.

Do you seriously not know what to do? Or are you just not wanting to do what is required, namely, suck it up and just ask her out and see what happens. Because the sooner she says no, the sooner you're over it - and that's only the worst case scenario.

A rejection is no big problem. She says no, you move on. The end.

Well, that could be it.

Heh, "over it". I've asked her out like several times before and she said no over the past two years and I'm still not over her. It just seems like I have a chance this time, then again that's what I've told myself every time. This is gonna go on straight till graduation and then maybe I'll be able to get over it

And she's one of only two girls that I've ever talked to in school that would keep talking to me after our first conversation. All of the others were weirded out. The other girl I rarely ever see and she's a pothead anyway.

She still talks to me, and that keeps me hooked, how's that for starved of female attention.

She's just not that interested in you. The best way to get over someone is to get under someone. Find that someone.

I'm not sure I know what under someone means.

Sex

How on earth would I do that?

Hrm. Uh. Hmmm. How do you get laid?

The basic idea behind that (getting over a break up, getting over someone you're crushing over, etc.) "getting under someone" presents is that you get out and meet someone. Regardless of you're take on the current situation, you're simply trying to get laid.

That sounds almost like liking someone for the sake of liking someone.

And on a sidenote I can't even sleep because this stuff is bothering me so much. I saw my cousin yesterday at a family gathering with his beautiful black girlfriend and they looked so good together, I kind of had a mini crush on her the whole time. I just wish I could have what he has. Lately though I've just felt like none of it's ever going to happen though and it bothers me every second of the day almost literally.

Very little "like" involved, you're primary focus is to have sex. Sex is usually the culmination of a relationship and has other 'strings' attached. When people miss relationships, one of the untold items missed is the intimacy.

So get laid. It helps get your mind off the prior relationship (speeds up the healing).

However, there are drawbacks - it doesn't always work. Sometimes you're hurting so bad from missing the other person nothing helps except for time. But in the other cases, getting laid helps a lot.

And if that someone doesn't exist?

For that matter, what if there is absolutely no "someone"?

There's *always* someone. It may not be the person you'd idealize, but there is someone.

I'm sure it would held a lot because then I'd know I'm even capable of getting it.

But you make it sound as though it's as easy as just asking for it and then it works.

Not in my experience. Yeah, sure, there's that one girl you like that doesn't like you back... we all go through that at some point in our lives. But it's a far cry from absolutely nobody liking you (in that way, at least), which is what I'm stuck with...

You aren't stuck with it but you are stuck in a rut. Women don't peer into ruts to see if there are any interesting men stuck in them that need to be pulled out.

You have to pull yourself out.

My recommendation is to get more physical activity into your life:

1)it is a concrete action and you need something very concrete that you can do that is markedly different from what you are doing now in order to get yourself out of this rut

2)it will greatly improve your physical self image which will improve your confidence, confidence actually is attractive and is not a "jerk" quality as it has sometimes been labeled here

3)depending on what physical activity you choose, it can be another way to meet women- you don't have to be a gym rat, you can join a nature club that goes on nature walks, join a walking club, take up bicycling and join a biking club

4)a man who is working to improve some aspect of himself and his life is inherently more attractive to women than a man who is mopey and stuck in a rut

5)if the physical activity of your choice is pretty low-impact athletically(and it should be if you are currently out of shape which I am guessing you are from other posts), the odds are good that you will meet an out-of-shape woman who is trying to change her life just like you are trying to change yours, then you can slowly get in shape together- very bonding

6)last but not least...you will feel great and look great, better than you have ever felt or looked before. And you will wonder why you didn't do this sooner. So do it now.

Is it just me, or are the simplest things the most difficult?