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louthinator
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13 Apr 2010, 7:42 pm

i do everything anyone else would do and i be myself ive tried everything possible yet im alone its dragged me into depression and i cant figure it out
am i just naturally unatrative?
i dont look skin deep when i see a girl i look for personality
i cant be alone anymore its driving me crazy looking around to see everyone else with someone and me without
if theres someone out there for everyone they obviousley left me out


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the second comeing's going to hurt


hale_bopp
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13 Apr 2010, 8:13 pm

You're only 18, a lot of us never got into a mutal loving proper ralationship until our 20s. I am 25 and have never been in a mutually happy relationship, and its not abnormal, it may seem like everyone is dating but trust me they aren't.



louthinator
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13 Apr 2010, 8:15 pm

things have changed since u were my age trust me even in 7 years ppl are acting older than they are so what your doing now younger ppl are also doing


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"to busy teaching to have learned,
too busy leading to have earned,
too busy feeding to have tasted cruel hunger,
or the bleeding bitter anger of the cold spurned souls you burned,
the second comeing's going to hurt


hale_bopp
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13 Apr 2010, 9:03 pm

louthinator wrote:
things have changed since u were my age trust me even in 7 years ppl are acting older than they are so what your doing now younger ppl are also doing


No they haven't. It really wasn't that long ago when I was a teenager. some kids have sex at 13, they always have, but are in the minority. kids "seemed" to be with other people, mainly because those without partners are only looking at the ones who are.

Next time you go to the movies, look at the people. See how many groups of ONLY girls, or ONLY guys there are.



Sound
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13 Apr 2010, 10:01 pm

When it comes to truth, once again Hale_Bopp delivers.
Take her word for it.



Poeticromance
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14 Apr 2010, 1:53 am

I have learned from experience, STOP TRYING. Let a person come to you. As soon as I stopped looking for a lover, I found my lover <3

Just make new friends who seem to have the personality you find attractive. Then, just get to know them as a friend for a bit. Don't PLAN ON becoming their significant other. Just try the getting to know game to see if you would find them to be your type of partner. THEN try the romance. The worst that could happen is that you make more friends :)



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14 Apr 2010, 1:56 am

hale_bopp wrote:
louthinator wrote:
things have changed since u were my age trust me even in 7 years ppl are acting older than they are so what your doing now younger ppl are also doing


No they haven't. It really wasn't that long ago when I was a teenager. some kids have sex at 13, they always have, but are in the minority. kids "seemed" to be with other people, mainly because those without partners are only looking at the ones who are.

Next time you go to the movies, look at the people. See how many groups of ONLY girls, or ONLY guys there are.

One problem with that logic. In the current age of 'heathenism', it's quite normal for guys and girls to be friends. :lol:

You're probably going to have to modify any numbers you get for the people there who aren't actually on a date, or are simply attending with relatives/as a group.


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hale_bopp
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14 Apr 2010, 5:48 pm

CerebralDreamer wrote:
You're probably going to have to modify any numbers you get for the people there who aren't actually on a date, or are simply attending with relatives/as a group.


If you want to be silly about it.. its not a statistical survey. It gives an indication that not everyone does stuff with bfs/gfs all the time, and not everyone is in a relationship. Whether they're sisters or family or lesbians or whatever, its not a world filled with only couples and one single guy.

Same could apply with a boy and girl together.. how do you know they're not sister and brother?



bully_on_speed
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14 Apr 2010, 7:06 pm

louthinator wrote:
i do everything anyone else would do and i be myself ive tried everything possible yet im alone its dragged me into depression and i cant figure it out
am i just naturally unatrative?
i dont look skin deep when i see a girl i look for personality
i cant be alone anymore its driving me crazy looking around to see everyone else with someone and me without
if theres someone out there for everyone they obviousley left me out


no offense hale bopp but this guy doesnt want a meaninful loving relationship he just want someone.

guy first thing disreguard everything she told you. you say being you isnt working out, so you need to not be you. if women dont like you, an alter ego is the only logical step



CerebralDreamer
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14 Apr 2010, 7:11 pm

bully_on_speed wrote:
louthinator wrote:
i do everything anyone else would do and i be myself ive tried everything possible yet im alone its dragged me into depression and i cant figure it out
am i just naturally unatrative?
i dont look skin deep when i see a girl i look for personality
i cant be alone anymore its driving me crazy looking around to see everyone else with someone and me without
if theres someone out there for everyone they obviousley left me out


no offense hale bopp but this guy doesnt want a meaninful loving relationship he just want someone.

guy first thing disreguard everything she told you. you say being you isnt working out, so you need to not be you. if women dont like you, an alter ego is the only logical step

It's not who he is. As long as your standards aren't completely unreasonable, dating success doesn't have a whole lot to do with who you are, or what you own. It's all about attitude.

If you do what you can to stay positive, friendly, and cheerful, then you'll have a lot more luck than if you walked around ranting about how lonely and miserable you are. The reason for that has a lot to do with the fact that people are selfish, but it's human nature. People don't become selfless towards another person until they feel sufficient attachment, and don't want to lose them.

It's a big part of why those abusive jerks don't show their true colors until much later in the relationship. They know early on, that attitude just get them sent to the curb, so they wait until there's enough attachment for the other person to tolerate it.


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bully_on_speed
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14 Apr 2010, 7:26 pm

im just trying to help the guy now both of you are helping him 5-6 years from now



CerebralDreamer
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14 Apr 2010, 8:12 pm

bully_on_speed wrote:
im just trying to help the guy now both of you are helping him 5-6 years from now

Attitude is easier to fake, takes a lot less to change, and has a pretty big impact compared to anything else he could do. Most of the advice guys give their friends when it comes to dating, it almost always involves something designed to boost their self-esteem, and improve their attitude.


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bully_on_speed
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14 Apr 2010, 8:16 pm

but he isnt confident. his alter ego will be though



hale_bopp
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14 Apr 2010, 8:52 pm

bully_on_speed wrote:
louthinator wrote:
i do everything anyone else would do and i be myself ive tried everything possible yet im alone its dragged me into depression and i cant figure it out
am i just naturally unatrative?
i dont look skin deep when i see a girl i look for personality
i cant be alone anymore its driving me crazy looking around to see everyone else with someone and me without
if theres someone out there for everyone they obviousley left me out


no offense hale bopp but this guy doesnt want a meaninful loving relationship he just want someone.

guy first thing disreguard everything she told you. you say being you isnt working out, so you need to not be you. if women dont like you, an alter ego is the only logical step


What did I tell him that he's supposed to be disregarding?



GoatOnFire
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15 Apr 2010, 12:56 am

louthinator wrote:
i do everything anyone else would do and i be myself ive tried everything possible yet im alone its dragged me into depression and i cant figure it out

I've been there. I'm not depressed anymore and I'm older, but other than that I'm in the same boat.
louthinator wrote:
am i just naturally unattractive?

Maybe. It is impossible for me to tell over the internet.
louthinator wrote:
i dont look skin deep when i see a girl i look for personality

Is there a specific personality type you are looking for? It might be worth a try to try someone of a different personality type than you've attempted before, then you can say you've tried everything.
louthinator wrote:
i cant be alone anymore its driving me crazy looking around to see everyone else with someone and me without
if theres someone out there for everyone they obviousley left me out

It will come down to luck, ultimately. Whether you meet someone in your life who has the right chemistry. The advice from people who have been in relationships is not as good as you would think. Many of them have no experience and no clue what it is like to have never had any success romantically after a certain age and the baggage and stress that goes with it. They don't know you, and the advice that works for them may not work for you. My advice, just try things, and build up an idea of what would work for you.
hale_bopp wrote:
Next time you go to the movies, look at the people. See how many groups of ONLY girls, or ONLY guys there are.

Be careful what time you try this. Last time I went to a movie alone it was at night and in the theater every... single... f*****g... person... expect for me was in a couple. Two of the couples were of the same sex but I saw them smooching so it wasn't just friends.
CerebralDreamer wrote:
If you do what you can to stay positive, friendly, and cheerful, then you'll have a lot more luck than if you walked around ranting about how lonely and miserable you are.

This is exactly the kind of advice that has made me more wary of it. I seriously doubt that most of the single guys here actually walk around and rant about how lonely and miserable they are, that's about the only thing I haven't tried (I should try it to say I've tried everything). That's usually why we release the feelings on a forum like this, I try like hell to sound positive in real social interactions. We are still frustrated because the advice we get about this isn't working. I'm not sure there is any truly good advice one could get over the internet about this. It depends on the person, and ultimately, you can't make someone else like you, it's their choice.


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bully_on_speed
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15 Apr 2010, 7:20 pm

hale_bopp wrote:
bully_on_speed wrote:
louthinator wrote:
i do everything anyone else would do and i be myself ive tried everything possible yet im alone its dragged me into depression and i cant figure it out
am i just naturally unatrative?
i dont look skin deep when i see a girl i look for personality
i cant be alone anymore its driving me crazy looking around to see everyone else with someone and me without
if theres someone out there for everyone they obviousley left me out


no offense hale bopp but this guy doesnt want a meaninful loving relationship he just want someone.

guy first thing disreguard everything she told you. you say being you isnt working out, so you need to not be you. if women dont like you, an alter ego is the only logical step


What did I tell him that he's supposed to be disregarding?


that he needs to be in his 20s to find someone to be with