Is this normal for aspies?

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I dont want to date...I dont want to get married. Logicly romantic love is an illusion. Most of the suffering I have seen in my life is caused by a poor choice in whom one is married to or romanticly involved with. Everything from my mother who married a sociopath who nearly ruined her life, to my friend who is sexually abused by her boyfriend, to some of my other friends who married someone on drugs and now she has to watch him die because he is a juvinile diabetic needing a kidney transplant and doctors discovered he was on drugs and he was taken off the transplant list. One very close friend gets beat by her husband and doesnt know that she has any other way because her father was a pediphile and raped her half her life so she has no sense of boundaries.

I have my own poor choices and most of the relationships that I have had did not turn out well for me.

So what is the point? It seems that two really nice people cant seem to get together...instead nice persons are oftentimes pared with crazymakers.

I wish I was not no cynical about "love" but I think ppl expect the other person to fulfill what one is not willing to give to themselves which is what creates these crazy situations. Expecially when the person realizes that the other person fails to meet that need...there is anger and betrayal. In the other person, there is confusion and fear.

my question I guess is ....Is it normal for aspies to be cynical and overly logical about romantic love. To me it is more of a blindfolded dart game to find the "Mr. or Mrs. right" Some people get lucky, but most people just lose in the end.

Statistics say 50 percent of marriages end in divorce. Personally I have seen many marriages that should have ended in divorce which brings me to my second point. How many of those remaining 50 percent are really happily married. I dont know but from my experience from what I have seen, I would say about 10 percent. The number of happily married couples (after being married 10 years) that I know, I can count on one hand.

So here is my second question...what is the point of romantic love if it does not achieve its goal guesstimatedly 90 percent of the time?

After I was diagnosed, I decided that I didn't want to ever get married either. Before, I thought I was just tired, but now I know it's more that that. I've recently joined a co-dependent support group that will hopefully help me develop healthy relationships because I don't think I've ever really had any.

I don't think I can answer what the point of romantic love is. It's just a feeling that most people have at some point. But my question is how marriage, or anything, can be legal when it fails at least half of the time?

good point on the legality of something that fails so misarably. My mom says that marraige is designed to protect children and property...and there is a relationship within that. Well as far as children go, I dont want to be responcible for screwing up anouther life because I am not emotionally fit to have kids.

So why did you not want to get married because of your Dx? Just curious?

I dont think I ever what to get married because of the logistics of failure.


Jojo

I cannot care less for marriage either. Its just a bunch of religious mumbo-jumbo with legal obligations.

To the OP: If you do not want to get married, then dont. You can still have a sexual and/or romantical relationship. Get a F-Friend (You just know what that *F* stands for) if you are able to. And no, you do not have to live with that person either.

Also, In Sweden, we have "Särbo" / "Sambo" relationships.

Sambo litterally means "Co-living", Särbo litterally means "Separate-living", it is usually because you're fed up with eachothers day2day habits, but still love eachother and the only way to make the relationship to work is to live apart and meet regularly to do stuff.

Even younger people who have never lived together have Särbo relationships just because they need their space.

On a side note: it also explains the severe housing problem in Sweden