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linuxGuy555
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21 Apr 2006, 1:26 pm

Hello all. I have a dinner date with a girl from my college in florida (won't give the name for privacy reasons).

What should I talk about with her? I know I should talk about her and what she likes, but do you guys have specific tips?

We haven't decided where to go.



Aspie1
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21 Apr 2006, 2:56 pm

Hard to say. Just talk about stuff she enjoys, while sharing a little of your own stories; just remember to flirt in the process. Most imporantly, however, listen twice as much as talk. Sure, if you have an interesting story, share it, just make it short. NT girls are generally turned off by guys who talk a lot, since from their point of view, constant talking indicates insecurity. They do, however, enjoy talking about themselves (hypocritic, I know, but go figure). So listen to what she has to say, and ask her questions.



SheDevil
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22 Apr 2006, 9:50 pm

Hi LinuxGuy,

Dates can be difficult with stilted small talk, Aspie or NT, matters not. Any time there is a lull in the conversation, try to remember to ask your date a question, and preferably not a yes or no question. Or, say to her, "tell me about your ..............." I promise you, these two techniques will keep the conversation flowing.

Good Luck!

SheDevil
(an NT, hopelessly in love w/ an Aspie, and the Aspie has not a clue!)



ThisLife
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22 Apr 2006, 10:50 pm

I hate small talk and I hate how at restaurants you have to wait so long before the food arrives and you are expected to just talk that entire time.

It’s a good idea to prepare like you’re doing by having some topics and questions ready beforehand because most NTs find silence really awkward.

Since you’re in college some obvious topics are classes, her future ambitions, where she’s from and the differences between Florida, where she grew up, and where you grew up (unless this is a community college and everyone’s from around the same area), any clubs she’s involved in, and if you keep up on media, NTs like to talk about movies and TV shows a lot (I’m not really sure why)

If she gets excited about a topic (she might talk fast or her eyes might light up) you will need to ask her follow up questions on the spot rather than just moving on to the next topic. This also signals that your conversation is going well.



linuxGuy555
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23 Apr 2006, 10:37 am

Thank you for the advice. The date went well. However, she is shy and there were points of awkward silence, which is to be expected. You know what I mean?

Oddly enough, I was sort of nervous, which kind of annoys me since I'm usually not that nervous.



larsenjw92286
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23 Apr 2006, 12:45 pm

I suggest you make her feel as comfortable as possible.


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