Do you feel your self worth is tied into having a partner?

Page 1 of 2 [ 22 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next


Do you feel your self worth is tied into having a partner?
Yes, and I am man. 23%  23%  [ 9 ]
No, and I am man. 31%  31%  [ 12 ]
Yes, and I am woman 5%  5%  [ 2 ]
No, and I am woman. 31%  31%  [ 12 ]
I don't know...or I want a better option. 10%  10%  [ 4 ]
Total votes : 39

JohnisBlind
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Jul 2010
Age: 51
Gender: Male
Posts: 974

31 Jul 2010, 10:19 am

Do you feel your self worth is tied into having a partner?



Ichinin
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 3 Apr 2009
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,653
Location: A cold place with lots of blondes.

31 Jul 2010, 10:24 am

JohnisBlind wrote:
Do you feel your self worth is tied into having a partner?



No, and to believe it is is a gigantic stupid generalisation.

I want a partner to have sex, experience love and do stuff with, not to fill some sort of theoretical void in my personality - i actually LIKE myself, way more than i like some others and i do not need to pick up some stupid hobby to "feel passionate about".


For those who "get" this post: the fun part is that i actually used to LIKE Alphaville too, now i HATE everything associated with them. And to "that" person, i'll get over your thread when i draw my last breath of air...:D


_________________
"It is far better to grasp the Universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring" (Carl Sagan)


spooky13
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 14 Jul 2009
Age: 61
Gender: Female
Posts: 499
Location: Drifting through the fog of reality

31 Jul 2010, 10:39 am

Ichinin wrote:
JohnisBlind wrote:
Do you feel your self worth is tied into having a partner?



No, and to believe it is is a gigantic stupid generalisation.

I want a partner to have sex, experience love and do stuff with, not to fill some sort of theoretical void in my personality - i actually LIKE myself, way more than i like some others and i do not need to pick up some stupid hobby to "feel passionate about".


Agreed! I feel the same way, it took me a while to get to this point. Having someone is wonderful, but but being part of a couple doesn't make me who I am. People come and go, it's up to ourselves to learn to be content with our lives.


_________________
"Why do it today when I can put it off until tomorrow."
Diagnosed aspie with an NT alter-ego.


CMaximus
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 3 Nov 2007
Age: 43
Gender: Male
Posts: 387
Location: Calgary, AB, Canada, Earth

31 Jul 2010, 11:16 am

Couldn't hurt. Couldn't hurt...



Surya
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 18 Jul 2010
Age: 56
Gender: Female
Posts: 437

31 Jul 2010, 11:51 am

Ichinin wrote:
JohnisBlind wrote:
Do you feel your self worth is tied into having a partner?



No, and to believe it is is a gigantic stupid generalisation.

I want a partner to have sex, experience love and do stuff with, not to fill some sort of theoretical void in my personality - i actually LIKE myself, way more than i like some others and i do not need to pick up some stupid hobby to "feel passionate about".


For those who "get" this post: the fun part is that i actually used to LIKE Alphaville too, now i HATE everything associated with them. And to "that" person, i'll get over your thread when i draw my last breath of air...:D


Pretty much this (except the Alphaville no clue, either band, film or silverback...)
+

The term is self worth, I have never understood why people think that means another person.. (wouldn't another person add their self-worth, making the couple 'stronger?... like 'power couples'?

self-worth builds self-esteem/ they kind of go hand in hand I think.
An individual that has high self-worth, should have high self-esteem, and having high self-esteem helps others, (not really sure why)
but I have been told that it is my appearance and self-esteem that draws people to me..
..then well, I sometimes open my mouth


self = me, myself, I = individual
worth = value, desire, useful = Idioms: for all (one) is worth /To the utmost of one's powers or ability.

Even that way, it still looks pretty singular to me...
another really has nothing to do with it..



samtoo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 May 2007
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,762
Location: England

31 Jul 2010, 12:11 pm

Sometimes I do, but I am sometimes fragile.
Pain is only an illusion - it doesn't need to hurt.
The world is not trying to hurt you - not the actual, general meaning of the world.
JohnisBlind, you are the most important person for you to take care of. :)
You will meet a very nice woman some time I am sure. :)
I wish you well, JohnisBlind. :)
*Hug*


_________________
Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle,
and the life of the candle will not be shortened.
Happiness never decreases by being shared.


Last edited by samtoo on 31 Jul 2010, 12:40 pm, edited 1 time in total.

LittleTigger
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Nov 2009
Age: 57
Gender: Male
Posts: 814

31 Jul 2010, 12:33 pm

The thing I wonder is, why does society
seem to think I need to be?

I'm ok the way I am, I don't want a reships,
I want to play and have fun, I want to colour
and paint and play with my Hotwheels, what
do they have ainst that?

I'm not breaking alny law.


_________________
A Boy And His Cat

When society stops expecting
too much from me, I will
stop disappointing them.


Moog
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 Feb 2010
Age: 47
Gender: Male
Posts: 17,671
Location: Untied Kingdom

31 Jul 2010, 1:23 pm

If I was, I'd be in trouble.


_________________
Not currently a moderator


John_Browning
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 22 Mar 2009
Age: 44
Gender: Male
Posts: 4,456
Location: The shooting range

31 Jul 2010, 2:45 pm

My self-worth comes from having something worthwhile to do with my life.


_________________
"Gun control is like trying to reduce drunk driving by making it tougher for sober people to own cars."
- Unknown

"A fear of weapons is a sign of ret*d sexual and emotional maturity."
-Sigmund Freud


hale_bopp
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Nov 2004
Gender: Female
Posts: 17,054
Location: None

31 Jul 2010, 5:17 pm

No.

You self worth should never have to be validated by others.



Laz
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Dec 2005
Age: 44
Gender: Male
Posts: 4,540
Location: Dave's Toilet

31 Jul 2010, 5:46 pm

Bad reciepe for dependency in a relationship



Adam82
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 29 Jun 2010
Age: 43
Gender: Male
Posts: 615

31 Jul 2010, 8:54 pm

Yes. And I am a man.

I have virtually no sense of self worth. I was bullied right through school, probably because of my Aspergers (didn't know I had it at the time, though). And its had lasting psychological effects on my adult life so far. I am still painfully shy, withdrawn, and borderline hermit-like. For years, I thought the problem was with me. I thought they bullied me because there was something wrong with me.

I've never had a girlfriend, probably because of my poor social skills when it comes to talking to girls. If someone else loved me as much as I them, it may give me more confidence and self-esteem.



hale_bopp
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Nov 2004
Gender: Female
Posts: 17,054
Location: None

31 Jul 2010, 9:09 pm

You realise 90% of us got bullied to hell at school?



Shebakoby
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Sep 2009
Age: 53
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,759

31 Jul 2010, 10:19 pm

I haven't got the first clue.



JohnisBlind
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Jul 2010
Age: 51
Gender: Male
Posts: 974

31 Jul 2010, 10:54 pm

To be honest I feel that it does. To live in a world where not even one person loves me makes me feel like I have nothing to give. I know that their is more to me than that. But everyday is is a challenge to see beyond what society makes of me.

In addition I have always believed that as a man my most basic purpose in life is to find a woman to share my life with. The fact that I have not been able to find a woman to fulfill that sense of self-identity makes me feel like a failure on some level. As long as I am still alive though I still have hope that that dream will come true.



hale_bopp
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Nov 2004
Gender: Female
Posts: 17,054
Location: None

31 Jul 2010, 11:08 pm

JohnisBlind wrote:
To be honest I feel that it does. To live in a world where not even one person loves me makes me feel like I have nothing to give. I know that their is more to me than that. But everyday is is a challenge to see beyond what society makes of me.

In addition I have always believed that as a man my most basic purpose in life is to find a woman to share my life with. The fact that I have not been able to find a woman to fulfill that sense of self-identity makes me feel like a failure on some level. As long as I am still alive though I still have hope that that dream will come true.


If you give back to the world people will love you. I would do anything for my little pets and they give me love. You may want to start doing charity work in your spare time. I find giving back to the world; you don't need people to love you.