Should I tell my friend my true feelings for her??

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I've been hanging out with my best friend alot lately. And I realized I like her more than as a friend. Should I tell her? If I do, might it ruin our friendship? Would you want to be told in that situation? I already flirt with her. But I kinda flirt with every girl I know, including her married sister who is another good friend.

Hi there.

This is a complicated situation which unfortunately you're the only one who will be able to decide. If you know she likes you, or if you can somehow get her to tell you (through someone else perhaps?) then it'll make your decision easier. Otherwise, unfortunately you have to choose between either being friends, or more than friends, and whether or not more than friends will ruin your relationship or not (some people it does, some people it doesn't...)

Then of course she could want you to be more than friends, and then if you never make a move she might move on...

I personally would want to be told, even if I didn't like the other person, but only because I want to know a person's true intentions.

Its a very difficult situation as it has been said before by some users, however if you really like her I think you should give it a try.

A couple of years ago I met this amazing girl that became my best friend for a short period. I was afraid I might ruin a friendship so as you I only did flirting and from time to time I joked about how we should give it a try.

Many people around that time adviced me to be straight with her because they knew she liked me, I listened to none of them and I pretended I didnt have feelings for this girl.

A year after she found a bf and the first thing she said to me after meeting her bf was that could have been you if you had ever asked me out properly.


Therefore I suggest to be straight and see what happens next.

Yes "nothing ventured nothing gained"

I'd say, try. If she's a true friend, she won't stop being your friend even if she doesn't feel the same way. "Who dares wins" or at least "March or die".

A big "YES"!

You really have nothing to lose: if she dumps you just because you feel more for her, then she never was a real friend. If she says sorry, but you can stay friends, then it will be a hell for you, but it would be also a hell if you didn't tell her you love her. So in this case there's really nothing you can lose. And there's also the fortunate case when she realize she feels more for you too. (This situation happened to me lot of times in the past, as all my friends were girls. Only one of the situations ended with a breakup.)

And don't wait for too long, the worst thing is the uncertainty.

You could loose a good friend

So, think (well I doubt you will) before you act

Before you ask, how do you think you'll cope with a 'no' answer?

Go for it. If you have good vibes about it, it won't hurt. And if she's a true friend and she says no, she won't be nasty about it, and I'd imagine that she'd be to the point but not a snob about it either.

If he loses a friend out of it, I'd venture to say she wasn't that great of a friend to begin with.

yes. flirting with her might not clue her in. make it very clear though that if she doesn't feel the same way it's ok and you will be satisfied with remaining friends. it paves the way for a more comfortable friendship if you discuss these sorts of things outright. if she's interested you will have opened a door, and if she's not, she won't be concerned about accidentally leading you on because she will have had the opportunity to clarify. (aspie perspective, obviously - an NT probably knows when she's implying interest)

the whole "it'll ruin the friendship" thing is bunk. if someone says that they're giving you a line and aren't really interested.

Heh, I told my best friend I liked her that way, she didn't return it but we're still best friends today. I say there's nothing to lose.

I told Phil how I felt about him, and he just shrugged. Cold bastard.

I have had feelings for one of my friends for about 21 months. For a long time, and for a variety of reasons (such as her having a boyfriend or having only just ended a relationship), I didn't tell her.

A few weeks ago though, I had the epiphany that, whatever happened as a result, I just had to tell her. Odds were that she would reject me but that we'd stay friends. And that's exactly what happened.

UNTIL

A month later, she contacted me saying that she had reconsidered, and realised that she did in fact have feelings for me. Her initial reaction to my confession was a knee jerk reaction from the combination of having never considered me as a romantic possibility and a desire to keep her head down from relationships (she's had a string of bad ones recently and was still conflicted over her ex).

We've not dove into the deep end into a relationship (because of her recent experiences), but we're dating until she's ready for more. Going on our first date, holding hands on the way to the cinema made the wait very much worth it.

Long story short, tell her IF the circumstances allow it. I had to wait, you might too. (Of course I can't know all your circumstances)

I say go for it. My wife and I got together initially because we were both going through some really tough times, romantically speaking. We were instant friends, and the casual "fooling around" we did in secret when we were still "just friends" turned into something a lot more. We're still "best friends" now. I still think your best relationship will be with someone who you consider your best friend.

It may be tough if the feelings aren't reciprocated, and that's understandable. But I say this: If she doesn't reciprocate and that ends up harming your friendship, then what kind of friendship did you really have in the first place?

I agree. My current girlfriend is my best friend, and even when we were broken up for like a week, we still kinda fooled around, and now we're back together, and I know I want to marry her.