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Wolverine_girl
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04 Dec 2010, 5:59 pm

is it normal to talk to people online..like dating but then when u meet them in person u freak out? i have talked to my friends online and text messageing and on the phone but when we meet up i freak out and i dont no why. is this normal for a teenager with aspeger or anyone with aspeger???? please help me, i dont want to be liek someone i know who cant interact with the opppsote sex because they are afraid too.

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Asp-Z
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04 Dec 2010, 6:02 pm

I'm shy when I talk to people in real life but I usually end up fine once I become comfortable with the person.



ci
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04 Dec 2010, 6:09 pm

I think the key is to just go step by step and daring yourself along the way to experience things your not comfortable with like new social situations.



Simonono
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04 Dec 2010, 6:20 pm

Ahahaha I wouldn't actually know since I only do the online part of the talking. But yeah, I would mega (shark) freak out about meeting someone in real life.



Densaugeo
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04 Dec 2010, 6:57 pm

Nervousness usually isn't particularly logical, it has more to do with sensation and the feel of your circumstances. It's completely normal to be more nervous about doing things in person than online, but it's still something you'll need to learn to overcome.



lkathryn
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04 Dec 2010, 8:12 pm

Wolverine_girl, I have the exact same problem!
I just find it so much easier to text over meeting in life--then you have time to think out good responses and don't have to worry about body language-looking in eyes, trying to make the appropriate expressions--it's all just so much work. I find I can express myself much more easily over the phone than in person, when I tend to be anxious and awkward and flustered!

But just because it's easier doesn't mean it's better. I've expreienced firsthand that it's really best to develop relationships in person than through something like texting--when texting, it's far too easy to just tell the person what they want to hear, and you can say just about anything and the other person will believe you (this happened to me) -whereas in person, you can usually tell when someone's shifty or lying or just in general not the person you thought they were. At least in life, you have the opportunity to discover who each other really is (sorry, terrible grammar there!) and once you have the basis of a relationship and have a basic understanding of each other, then its better to text because you're not just basing their personality on what you recieve in texts. Does that make any sense?

But you're not alone in the way you feel! I just keep hope that in time, the more I talk to and get experience in social interactions with peiople, the better at it I will become. If you take my advice, I would hold off the texting until you're truly friends with the person. :) That way you'll be building on a relationship that's already there, rather than trying to create one based off only what you know from their texts. Hope this helps!! !


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lkathryn
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04 Dec 2010, 8:14 pm

oh and by the way i am absolutely terrified of boys! If I happen to like one, i get really awkward and flustered around one. :( The only times I find I can interact with guys without being totally awkward is when I have absolutely no romantic interest in all! And they're the ones that end up liking me...oh well!



richardbenson
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04 Dec 2010, 8:52 pm

yes. happens to me all the time, its called sabatoge! :pig:


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StormCrow
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04 Dec 2010, 10:39 pm

I'm still like that, and I'm past my teens.

I'm great with talking online, but when I go out, I go to Stealth mode and end up listening or speaking in short answers.



StormCrow
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04 Dec 2010, 10:40 pm

I'm still like that, and I'm past my teens.

I'm great with talking online, but when I go out, I go to Stealth mode and end up listening or speaking in short answers.



nick007
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05 Dec 2010, 12:01 am

I have this problem to OP. I feel I can express myself much better online than offline. I'm very withdrawn, private & in my own world when I'm around people offline so the few times I met people offline that I new online 1st; I didn't know how to act & I felt kind of like I was being a phony online with em because of my different personality. I have to know people offline a while before I start feeling comfortable


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Wolverine_girl
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06 Dec 2010, 2:31 am

IKathryn i can tottaly relate to you with the guy thing. I have 4 guys who like me and who i can talk to fine with but i have no romantic intrest in them. My parents think i am crazy because all these guys are amazing but i seem to fall for the guys who dont have jobs and dont have a future (thats what my parents say) I really do wish i could find a decent guy who i really like and who i feel completly comftable around



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06 Dec 2010, 3:50 am

I think Seanwn has a classic case of this :roll:



superboyian
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06 Dec 2010, 4:31 am

No but I'm scared of dating online. :lol:


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blue_bean
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06 Dec 2010, 4:41 am

The anxiety has to do with expectations and the pressure IMO. People expect and assume things about how you're going to be offline, and it can make you nervous and scared that you won't meet that person's expectations.